A Series of Unexpected Events
by Cassiesmum02
Summary: ON HIATIS The last thing Sarah Teller expected in her first year of marriage was to be pregnant and a 'prison widow'.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

This is set 160 days after the epilogue from ABMT. As a warning I'm going into this completely blind, I have no pre-planned points that I want to happen anywhere in this plot, nothing planned that I'll be building the story around…bar a couple of things that are logical with an imprisoned Son with a pregnant old lady. Because of this I'm not sure how often the updates will come, as this depends entirely on how easy this story flows from my brain to my fingers. Photo on Photobucket.

Waking up to the sound of my phone ringing is unusual, normally it's the sound of Abel crying to be retrieved from his crib or my bladder that wakes me. Plucking the phone off the bedside table my heart falls when I see Lowen's name across the display.

Sliding my finger across the display I bring it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Morning Sarah, sorry to wake you, but Jax wanted me to let you know what happened as soon as I could." Ally sounds apologetic for ringing me while it's still dark outside.

"What happened?" I know my voice is suddenly very abrupt but whatever it was that's happened inside the prison has to be bad for her to be calling so early. "Please tell me he's alive?"

Ally laughs and I relax a little "He's fine, now. But you're not going to be able see him till his release, which is still 3 weeks away."

I take a couple of deep breaths in, forcing myself to relax "Okay, so what happened?"

"He had to have an appendectomy yesterday afternoon. The only advantage that you have of this is that he's been put in a private room at the hospital, of course he has a guard 24/7 but there was a couple of options not normally given."

I sit up in the bed, moving so I'm leaning against the headboard, my back aching slightly "What were they?"

I hear the faint scratching of a pen on paper "If you want to pay additional charges to the hospital he can have a TV in his room."

"Sure, he'll be bored shitless otherwise, are you able to see him?"

"Yes, I have to go in later today to make sure all the paperwork is correct."

I smile slightly "Take him some books as well. Harley mags, anything he wants."

There's a pause on the other end of the phone while Ally scribbles a few lines down "Okay, and the other option you had was for a phone in his room. I figured you'd go for that so it's set up."

She rattles the number off and I scramble to find a pen in my bedside table draw. Jotting the number on the top of a nappy box by the bed I hang up after thanking our very well paid lawyer for letting me know.

Taking a few minutes I struggle out of bed and check on Abel who's still fast asleep. Doj lifts his head from his position curled on his couch on the landing, a few thumps of his tail and his head drops back down to rest on his front paws, his eyes closing again.

Climbing back into bed I punch the numbers into my phone and hit dial. The other end only rings a couple of times before Jax's sleepy voice comes down the line "Hello?"

"Hey baby. I just got off the phone with Lowen."

"She did tell you I'm fine didn't she?" Jax's voice is groggy and I wonder how much of it is sleepiness and how much is after effects of anaesthetic.

I giggle softly "Yes she did. Otherwise I'd be in the car on the way there already. Why didn't anyone call me last night?"

"I don't know Darlin'. They should have as soon as I left the prison, but I guess it all happened real fast." I hear a few rustled movements and Jax groans softly.

"What happened?" I shove the pillows behind me so I can sit up properly.

"I felt real shit yesterday morning but put it down to prison food, hate to tell you but your tough biker husband collapsed and I don't remember anything else till I woke up last night in recovery being told they'd cut part of me out. Gotta say, it doesn't feel good." Jax sounds a mixture of irritated, annoyed and in pain.

"As long as you're okay, Lowen's going to bring you some books and magazines, just let her know what you want. And she's going to get the TV sorted for you today so you won't get bored seeing you don't get to see us again till you're home."

"What?" Jax sounds like he's tried to sit up, the stifled gasp of pain not quite enough for me to miss.

"Haven't they told you?" I sigh, it's typical for the lawyer to know stuff before the guards tell the inmates but this is a bit ridiculous. "Lowen didn't tell me why, but I'm guessing it's something to do with you not being in the prison, you're not aloud visitors, other than hospital crew and your lawyers."

Jax sighs and I can almost picture him running his hand over his face "Babe, I'm sorry."

I chuckle "It's not your fault. It does suck, but you'll be home soon."

A slight squawking noise from the baby monitor makes me throw the blankets off my legs again "Your son's up."

Jax chuckles "How was he this week?"

I step through the open door of Abel's room; Doj's nose is just poking through the bars of his cot. Abel's giggles at the pink tongue that keep slapping outwards his hand. "He's okay, the ear infection's cleared up."

Abel's gaze drifts to me and he starts waving his arms at me from his position standing at the side of the crib "Oh, he did almost walk the other day, I'm hoping that he'll wait till you're home before he actually does though, Grandma's had the camera out whenever she can taking photos. I swear that was the best thing we ever brought her."

Jax laughs, the sound much less pained then before. I wedge the phone between my shoulder and my ear as I reach down and pick Abel up from his cot. "You know I'll make up for all of that when I come home."

Talking while I absently change Abel's nappy and pick him up again "Baby, I know you didn't intend on spending all our birthdays and Christmas behind bars, but shit happens. You'll be home in a few weeks and we can make up for it with Abel's late birthday party. Donna, Al and I have started planning it, we decided we'll have it here. But we're just going to have family, D's so huge that she looks like she's going to pop, I'm sure it's twins again but she won't say."

Jax laughs softly "I bet you're not far behind her."

Pulling the phone away from my ear I stick my tongue out at the display in a childish fit "I can still see my feet, just."

Abel grabs the phone from my shoulder and tries to put the end of it in his mouth, swapping it out with a teething ring I laugh and set him down in the middle of the bed "You just about got chewed, again."

Explaining what I mean takes me a few seconds in amongst giggles but by the time I finish the explanation of Abel and his dribble destroying of my previous phone Jax is yawning slightly and sounding half asleep again.

"Jax, go back to sleep. We can talk later." I dig through my clothes and pull out something for the day, Cherry's opening the store but seeing I'm up so early I may as well go in to sort the deliveries that came in over the previous few days.

"Okay." Jax already sounds like he's drifting off "Love you babe, see you in a few weeks. Look after yourself, and our sons."

"You don't know that it's a boy, and I always do. Love you too." Closing my phone I toss it onto the dressing table and get dressed, watching Abel as he rolls around the bed.

Pulling a t-shirt over my head that Gemma brought me with 'Human Growing' and an arrow I shake my head at it before scoop Abel back up off the bed and bounce him as I walk slowly down the stairs, his giggles so contagious that by the time I reach the bottom I'm laughing with him.

Sitting him in his high chair I pour some cereal that Abel seems to love gnawing on onto the tray and then go to sort out Doj's food, hearing his mouth snapping closed behind me I turn around, a hand on my hip and shake my head, Abel's laughter continues and Doj looks ashamed of himself even as he catches another of the bite sized things in mid-air.

Snapping my fingers Doj comes to my side and follows me to his bowl. "You shouldn't eat that, it's not good for you."

Doj just sits looking up at me, his eyes slightly sad as I take a few of his biscuits out of the bowl "You get less cause you had them." I shrug and drop the biscuits in the bowl "We'll just go for a longer walk this afternoon."

Shaking my head at the fact I'm talking to my dog and my barely 1 year old son I putter around the kitchen slowly making scrambled eggs for both of us with a couple of slices of bacon for myself. My addiction to all things bacon during my pregnancy had Gemma joking that the baby was going to come out with a rasher clenched in his (or her I kept insisting) hand.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Thanks Dani for pointing out my issue with brought/bought. I didn't notice it before. Hopefully I've caught it in the few chapters I've written so far.

Gemma almost snatches Abel out of his car seat when I pull into the park at TM and immediately starts cooing at him, walking towards the office "Clay wants to see you."

I sigh, turning on my heel and heading towards the clubhouse instead. Pushing open the door I sit down on the first seat I see and look over at him at the other end of the room "Hugely pregnant, you wanna see me you come to me."

Clay chuckles and heads towards me, resting his hand on my shoulder and squeezing lightly before sitting down opposite me "Jax is out soon?"

I nod "Yeah, three weeks. But he's not gonna see anyone. Did Lowan ring Gem?"

Clay grimaces "Yeah she did. Poor woman needs a bonus cause of the ear bashing she got, your mother-in-law was very unhappy at not being able to see her son."

"Duly noted, I'll send her some chocolates with her cheque as an apology. What did you need, I have a hospital appointment in like 45 minutes."

Clay nods "I know, Gem told me. I just wanted to take a few minutes of your time to thank you for everything you've done over the past 5 months."

I shrug "No big deal, I needed to be busy."

"It was though pumpkin. You organised Otto's homecoming, and made sure that Luanne had time off by giving her Lyla's help for a week so they could be together. You put up two of my hooligans in your house for 7 weeks while this place was modified. You made the hugest cake I've ever seen for Miles' patch party and supported Hap when Maria died. You've were there when Donna went into labour, and brought the second cutest baby I've ever seen into the world." He chuckles at my look "You were the first. I swear you came out ready for a baby photo shoot."

I shrug again and pat his hand "It's all for family Uncle Clay. Besides, Happy needed me."

Clay pulls a cigar from his pocket and sits playing with it "That's what his Old Lady is for, I get that he needed you too. Even if I was sure he was going to go into a sugar coma, but what I wanted to say from all of us is thank you."

I frown and start moving so I can get up "That's okay."

Clay holds up his hand "Not done yet. I spoke to Jimmy the other day."

"Fuck. What does that slime bag want?" His trip back through on his way back to Ireland hadn't made me anymore fond of him when he'd hit on Cherry and told Lyla she could do better, while Kip and Miles were standing beside them.

"He sent his thanks for looking after Keri and Trinity." Clay trails off at the end of his sentence and I lean back into my chair and sigh.

"And?"

"He wants to know if Trinity can come back. Mo's having some real problems adjusting to her knowing her dad and can't deal with her attitude." Clay sounds irritated at having become the middle man.

"Course she can. She's welcome to stay with me for as long as she wants. Keri too."

Clay chuckles and nods "Okay, I'll let Jimmy know. Don't know why you put up with the girls."

I shrug as I get to my feet and start moving slowly towards the doors "Those girls need a strong female presence that isn't afraid of the men in their lives, their shadow or what may happen on their street. Not to mention that both of them get time with their fathers while they're with me."

Happy pushes open the door as I reach for it "What's this about being scared of them men in your life?"

I laugh as he holds the door open for me "Not me Hap. The terrors are coming back."

Happy groans and follows me across the lot "No?" At my nod he lifts his hand and presses it to my forehead "Are you sick?"

I giggle as I open the door of the Nitro, climbing back behind the wheel carefully "Nope. Not today. Thought I think that the doc's going to tell me no more driving as of today."

Happy laughs loudly as he looks down where the steering wheel is brushing my stomach. "Move over, I'll take you. Give me a sec to let Gem know."

Leaving the hospital almost 90 minutes later Happy looks sideways at me "That went okay?"

I sigh as I get into the passenger's seat, grateful that he waited in the car for me "Yeah. Like I thought I was given the order of no more driving. Apparently I as I can no longer reach the controls safely while being belted in I can't drive."

Happy shrugs as he pulls out of the carpark and heads back to TM "We'll sort your transport out cupcake."

Leaning my head against the seat I nod "I know. Gem already said she'll do everything she can to help. She's been helping D with Rebecca."

Hap snorts "Course she is, it's her namesake. Are you pissed?"

I glance over at him in confusion "About what?"

"That Donna named her daughter Rebecca Gemma. Didn't you want to do the name after grandma thing?"

I snort back a laugh and shake my head "Nope. I love Gem, really I do. But I'm not going to give anyone her name. One Gemma in my life is enough."

"So, did you find out what you're having?" Happy looks almost eagerly over at me as we coast to a stop on Main Street.

I roll my eyes "Yes Hap. I'm having a baby."

Happy lifts one eyebrow at me and tries to glare, the effect ruined when I blow a raspberry at him "Those in the delivery room will be the first to find out gender Hap. Jax and I both agreed not to find out. And as long as it's healthy that's all that matters."

Coasting to a stop he looks past me "It looks good you know."

Turning my head I look at the space where Shermans once stood, the square space where my store was burnt down is completely different then the square store I'd intended on selling clothes, shoes and cosmetics from.

Smiling at him I wave at one of the women who became a regular in the bakery as she heads into the space. "Maria would have loved it Hap. That's what is important."

Not long after Maria had died the insurance company had finally come back to say that they'd pay out on the arson of the store, consulting with Happy and Cam we'd designed a tiny garden space with a couple of picnic benches and a sail over the whole thing. Al had come and painted a mural of a sunset on one of the walls and we'd left it as a garden for people to stop at while shopping.

It worked well, both for relaxation and for Charming's economy. People would stop there to have a break, which meant they spent more time shopping. While they were there the more garden friendly of them would pluck any weeds they saw. Someone had brought in some additional plants and put them in pots around the kids play area at the back.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

"Hey Babe, I miss you. I'm ready to be out of here and back home. The food sucks, the nurses keep waking me up every 2 hours during the night to make sure I'm okay. I want to be home with you."

I sigh, wiggling further into the corner of the couch "I miss you to. Abel's getting ratty cause he knows something's coming but he doesn't understand what. All he knows is that people keep telling him Daddy's coming home."

Jax chuckles "Yeah, but he probably doesn't remember me."

"He does baby, it's only been 2 weeks since he saw you last. He may just have a bit of trouble with you not wearing orange all the time." Doj curls into a ball beside me, resting his head on what little part of my knee is available for him with a contented grunt. "It official, I can't see my feet anymore and I've had to go to slip on shoes cause I can't reach them to tie up."

"How long left?" He asks quietly as the chair under him creaks. After 11 days of being restricted to his bed after he'd got an infection due to his rushed surgery he'd finally been able get out of bed and move to the chair in his room, he'd been enjoying being able to see out the window for the last 3 days, more so when the guys had gone for a 'random' ride past the hospital twice in the last three days.

"Another 3 weeks. If everything goes to schedule. You've got 7 days till you're home, then 12 days after that is the due date." I can hear Jax moving and giggle "I can't see you nodding baby."

"I just realised that as I was doing it. Has Ope been filming everything like I asked?"

I sign and laugh at the same time, making a very strange choking noise that leads to a coughing fit. Several seconds pass while I try and catch my breath before I can speak "Yeah, he wanted to film the Lamaze class that D and I both went to but he was told if he did then he'd be forced to watch the birth video."

Jax laughs which makes me smile in response "I bet he did. D said that when the kids were born he refused to look below D's waist, cause he didn't want to see..."

"...the mess his playground became." I finish with a giggle and a groan.

"You okay?" Jax's voice is slightly panicked.

"I'm fine baby. Just got a very hard kick right to the ribcage. Chibs wanted me to tell you that all the furniture is set up, we moved stuff around. The purple bedroom set is at TM in our room, the yellow room furniture is in the purple room now and the yellow room is now the nursery. Ali-cat came in and did a mural on the wall in there as well, but this one is from that movie you and Ope loved."

"Cars? Awesome!" Jax says with what I know is a huge grin on his face.

"You should like it. Al covered the whole wall and it took her ages." I frown slightly "Though I didn't know she was doing it till I came back home."

"Where were you?"

"With D. Remember, I stayed with her last week after Rebecca came home to help. Not that I think I was much good."

Jax laughs "Yeah Ope said he was having to buy bacon every day. Were you seriously putting it in everything?"

I shrug, knowing he can't see me "His wife ate a ice cream, roast beef sandwich and he complained about my dipping crispy bacon into salad dressing."

"Babe I think the problem he had was that you were then adding chocolate sprinkles on top of it."

I laugh and struggle to my feet, padding silently through to the kitchen "It was good though."

Pulling open the fridge door I look immediately at the plate of bacon that's taken permanent residence on the shelf. Sticking a strip into my mouth I bite the end of it and sigh "But Gem has told me I need to limit myself to four or five strips a day. Apparently eating half a pound of bacon in three days was a little too much."

Jax laughs "Yeah she told me. How has she been?"

Deciding on one of the sandwiches that Lyla had made for me I lift that off the shelf and head back into the living room "She's been really helpful. I can't reach the controls on the washing machine anymore, or bend over to empty the dishwasher so she's been doing that for me. Cam and Al have been coming over every day to make sure I'm not going stir crazy. Hap rings me every morning to make sure I don't have any appointments. I swear he knows more about what's happening then I do."

"He's taking the protective brother role very seriously Sarah. Did he tell you what he's doing tomorrow?"

Adjusting myself again I wait while Doj settles back down before picking the wrapping of my sandwich open "No, what?"

"He's moving in with Cam till I come home."

My hand falls back to my lap, sandwich untouched "He's what?"

Jax sighs and I hear him moving, running his hand through over his face judging by the rough sound that comes down the phone "I agreed with him babe. You need someone there in the middle of the night if you get more of those fake contractions you had."

I roll my eyes, picking at a seed in my bread "Braxton hicks contractions. There's nothing to worry about though. The OB said that they were normal."

Jax growls and takes a few breaths before he speaks again "Please don't fight me on this babe. I'm not there, I need to know that you're taken care of."

"Okay baby. Happy and Cam can come stay." I let my arguments go, hearing the unspoken side of his sentence, that he hates he's so disconnected and unable to be there. "But if I hear them having sex, or see them having sex then they're out on their ears."

Jax laughs again then stops as a knock echoes through his room and into the phone "Hang on babe. Lunch is here."

A few muffled noises later and he's back with a grunt "This stuff looks like it should be dog food."

"What is it meant to be?" I ask as I bite the corner off my sandwich

"It's meant to be a roast beef sandwich with relish." A disgusted noise emerges from his throat "Seriously I think that the prison food was better than this."

I swallow the bite and resist the urge to moan in appreciation of the bacon that Lyla hid in my chicken salad sandwich "Do you want me to see if I can get Lowan to bring you some food?"

Jax's voice cheers up immensely "Do you think she would?"

I flick my eyes towards the ceiling "Baby with the retainer we pay her she'll do anything we ask."

"Okay, then you ring her and I'll talk to you later?"

"I'll get her to bring you some food this afternoon, can you hold out an hour or so?"

"Sure. There's some biscuits here that look okay."

"Eat your fruit as well baby. Love you Jax."

"Love you too."

I finish the sandwich I'd barely started before ringing Lowan. My request of her to take some food into Jax is met with a burst of laughter I wasn't expecting. It takes a few seconds before she calms enough to talk to me "Sure I can take in some sandwiches and stuff. I have to go into the hospital this afternoon anyway, my brother's in there at the moment."

The usual question answer that follows ends with me knowing her brother had been in an accident which left him in traction.

Hanging up the phone I set my hand on Doj's head and rub gently between his eyes as I lean back into the couch, closing my eyes.

AN: Bedroom suite &amp; Mural on Photobucket (the one that was moved to TM)


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

The countdown to Jax's arrival home reaches into the last week quicker than I would have expected given how slowly the days previously had moved.

A week before his release date Gemma had gone into high gear with party organising, the entire bar had been restocked almost to the rafters with every type of liquor that was imaginable, beer was stacked in boxes in the new industrial sized walk in fridge she'd had installed. Her and I had taken a drive to Stockton, well she'd driven I'd put my expanding ass into the passenger's seat and picked up enough meat to feed the Sons for a week, or one enormous welcome home party.

Three days before his release the final preparations had been done, the glasses washed, the windows cleaned, the floors polished, the leather on the new booths buffed to a shine. Clay had rolled his eyes at her request to get new pool cues, but when she'd whispered something in his ear his resigned expression changed to a predatory smirk and he'd left the lot.

Two days before his release Sons from other charters started arriving, beginning with Vince and Tank from Fresno. Dani had barely been off the back of Tank's bike before she was at my side talking a mile a minute. The new addition to her left hand had gone unnoticed for ten minutes till she'd picked up a box of napkins and handed them to me. The blushing explanation of a trip to Vegas and a drive through wedding made me laugh but her stunning smile and the obvious joy she's found make me happy for her.

The day before Jax's release Donna and I had sat down with Gemma and laid down the law, as much as we could. We both explained to her that because of the kids Donna would only be there for dinner before her and Neeta would be taking the kids home for the night, she'd agreed without question to taking Abel for the night.

I'd told Gemma that my appears would only be guaranteed for the first hour, but when the alcohol level got higher than the level of clothing covering I told her I would be heading for the hills, either the house or our new room, now located at the end of the hall on the right hand side, the left hand side had Opie's room while the dead end of the hall was now 3 metres closer to the main room with a door in it leading into the new kids room.

The morning of May 16th brings his release. I'd been awake before the sun was up, the nerves finally getting the better of me at 4am when I'd thrown back the blankets and gotten up after two hours of tossing and turning. Thanking Gemma for having taken Abel the night before I pad silently down to the kitchen and flick the lights on.

When Happy finally stumbled out of the spare room at 8am his eyes widen then narrow finding me sitting at the table with a plate holding the evidence of my bacon and egg breakfast in front of me in the small space that was free of cupcakes.

"Yours is in the oven. Leave the cupcakes. Plate will be hot."

Filling up his cup from the pot of coffee I'd started for him about 20 minutes earlier he frowns "How much coffee have you drunk?" 

I poke my tongue out at him "None. You know I'm not aloud it at the moment. I wish."

Happy opens the oven door and reaches in "Hot plate." I remind him a second before his hand touches the porcelain.

He scowls at me and picks up the tea towel I'd left beside the oven, using it to carry the plate to the table. "Well I could have not saved you food you miserable bastard."

Happy's eyes widen and he almost drops the plate onto the table "What?"

I shrug, picking up my plate and dropping it into the sink and ignoring the sound of shattering china, staying completely silent till I get to the door "I didn't have to save you breakfast, I didn't have to slave my ass off in this kitchen for the last four hours while 8 months pregnant to make cupcakes for a bunch of bikers who won't give a shit if it's cupcakes or dog food they're eating. I didn't have to spend the last 6 months running round after everyone else while my life was put on hold. I didn't have to do everything I have done in the last 6 months to make sure that everyone else was happy while I worried every single fucken night about how my husband was, whether he was going to come home to me and our children."

Stomping up the stairs I almost slam the door to my bedroom, instead closing it firmly and leaning against it willing the tears in my eyes to vanish. Deliberately sliding the lock on the door over I pause for a second then undo it when I get a kick in the ribs "Okay okay I get it. Leave the door unlocked in case something happens."

Rubbing my hand over my belly I move to the bathroom and sit down on the edge of the bathtub "I guess I owe Uncle Happy an apology." Another kick to the ribs makes me chuckle lowly "I'll do that later."

Two hours later I finally emerge from my room again and head straight down to the kitchen where I find the funniest sight I would have thought, Happy standing in one of my aprons setting cupcakes into boxes on the bench.

Looking over at me he sets down the cupcake and without a word crosses the kitchen and wraps his arms around my shoulders "Feel better cupcake?"

I shake my head, my nose burrowing into his chest "No. I feel miserable and I took it out on you and it wasn't fair."

Happy laughs, his hand coming up to ruffle my hair "It's okay."

"No it's not. You should be mad at me."

Leading me to the table Happy makes me sit down before he sits opposite me and takes my hand "Gemma told me that you were gonna blow soon."

"What?"

Happy rubs his free hand over his head and leans back, my hand falling into my lap "Gem's been watching you, truth be told everyone has. Clay, Chibs, Ope, Piney, Sack, D, Lyla, Cam, Miles, Al. Me. We've all been waiting for something to break."

"I'm confused." I say slowly watching as he gets up and retrieves a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Simple, Ope did time when the twins were barely a year old. Granted it was only 30 days. Clay did a stretch not long after he and Gem got married, you knew that." I nod silently, the 8 months Clay did had been really hard on Gemma, and Jax, "Every single one of the Sons that have done time have all said that at some stage their Old Ladies break. Everything becomes a huge problem, life becomes hard and someone has to bear the brunt." Happy laughs again "I just didn't think you'd choose the day your Old Man gets released to finally crack. I thought you'd be the exception to the rule of imprisonment insanity."

I look up at him through my eyelashes and wait, the way he's holding himself I can tell he has something else to say.

"Jax decided that someone needed to be here the whole time he was inside in case you needed help. Gemma agreed cause she knew that you'd need someone to help. You think you've done it all but you haven't noticed what everyone has been doing _for_ you." Happy takes a breath and smiles at me "You didn't notice that in the last 6 months you've never had to put gas in your car, or that it's been washed and cleaned every two weeks, you didn't notice that you haven't done washing or dishes for the last 6 months. Your lawns have been mowed and your garden done before you even noticed."

I lean back in my chair stunned as I think through the list of things he's just said, realisation that I've acted like a bitch flinging itself into my brain "I'm sorry Hap."

Getting off his chair Happy crouches in front of my chair "None of us did it for the thanks, or the recognition. I may have stayed here for the cupcakes." He says with a chuckle "We did it because you're family and we knew it would be hard with Jax inside. But if you're over your mental breakdown now we'll let it slide." He pauses for a second and looks over at the bench "As long as you let me have a cupcake."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

S's dress on Photobucket.

Happy drives me to the lot with the backseat loaded with boxes of cupcakes, one minus the two he ate and the one I had when the smell of the miniature chocolate truffles I'd topped each with got too much for my nose.

Gemma opens the door and pulls me out into her arms "You okay baby?"

I shrug, the smells of her perfume mixed with the smell from the lot, the oil, grease, petrol smell that clings to everyone that spends more than an hour a day at TM climbing in my nose and relaxing muscles I didn't even realise were tense.

Leading me towards the door she gestures towards Miles and Kip who hurry to help Happy with the boxes in the boot "Course you're not. But he's home today."

I smile brightly as the door opens and Clay steps out "I know."

Clay stops and gives me a hug and Gemma a kiss "We're heading out now. Don't know why the fuck they had to take him from the hospital back to Stockton just to release him."

Gemma snorts a laugh "The logic of our justice department. Be safe and bring our boy home."

Clay whistles loudly "Time to go."

There's s loud scuffle of boots as the Sons all head to their bikes, Lowell in the flatbed with Jax's bike on the back and his 2 year old son beside him.

Pulling me the rest of the way into the clubhouse Gemma ignores my protests about the boxes in the back of the truck telling me that the crow eaters will get them, a wave of her hand has four of the women running out the door, well as fast as they can on their heels.

An hour later Gemma is busy watching her grandkids, Ellie and Kenny playing on the swings as she holds 3 week old Rebecca in her arms while Abel is beside her in the pushchair having a nap. Coming back out of the clubhouse having changed into the dress that Gemma brought me I walk slowly across the lot, my hand on my lower back.

Gemma looks up when I reach her side and smiles "I thought it would be too long."

"It would have been if not for a massive growth sticking out the front of me."

Poking her tongue out at me she reaches up and settles her hand on my belly "That massive growth is gorgeous. And you know my son will say the same."

I shake my head, sitting down slowly "I doubt it. I can't see my feet, the doctors ordered no sex even _after_ I told her he'd been inside for the last 6 months. I feel like I've put on 10 pounds in the last week and I look like I've swallowed a beach ball."

Neeta bursts into laughter and leans back to look at me, a huge smile on her face "You be quiet girl. Your man will love you even more cause of that beach ball."

Gemma nods in agreement and rocks Rebecca when she stirs "He's going to love you cause you're carrying his son."

"Or his daughter." I reply for what seems like the millionth time.

Gemma shakes her head "Tellers breed boy's baby."

I bite the tip of my tongue, not telling her that I have a gut feeling it's a girl, that I have since I found out I was pregnant.

Lowell pulls the flat bed back into the lot and backs it into its place, jumping out he heads towards us "They're about 20 minutes behind me."

Hearing that sends a jolt up my spine and for some reason I start to feel nervous tension knotting my insides.

Gemma pats my hand as Donna comes over, her eyes automatically checking on all three of her kids before she sits down beside Gemma and runs her hand over Rebecca's head. "How we doing out here?"

Rebecca is passed from grandmother to mother in an easy swap barely bringing a squeak from the sleeping infant. Looking over at them I cock my head in silence till Donna looks up at me "What?"

I shrug "Do you think it'll come to me as easy as it did to you?"

Donna waves her hand under Rebecca's back towards the twins "They were my test subject to find out what worked and what didn't. You've had Abel to learn."

I shake my head, looking down at him where he's still sleeping in his pushchair "I didn't though, he came home already sleeping through the night, I never had midnight feedings. I had a nurse to tell me what his cries meant so I never had to work them out."

Gemma and Donna both surprise me by laughing. Gemma gets up and dusts off the back of her pants starting towards the garage "You do what's best for you and your baby, it will come naturally I promise."

Donna nods as Gemma throws the door open of the club house and disappears within "She's right. Advice from other parents is worth nothing, each child is different and each parent is different. What you've learnt from Abel will help but this new baby, they'll be someone entirely new with new patterns."

Resting my head on Donna's shoulder I look down at Rebecca "But you seem so at ease. You know what she wants before she wants it I'm sure."

Donna shrugs her other shoulder, Rebecca moving gently "It may seem that way now. You were there for the first week so you know it's different. Besides, you've got me, Gem, Lyla, Cherry, Cam and Al to help. And the fountain of knowledge that is our lovely Neeta over there."

Neeta looks up from the book she was flicking through and shakes her head "You won't get parenting advice from me, I haven't got any kids."

I lift one eyebrow at her "But how many kids have you raised, or helped raise."

Neeta throws her arm in the air "I'm not gonna get into that."

I giggle as Rebecca opens her eyes, the tiny green orbs identical to those that look out from her mothers' face, opening her mouth she grizzles a little and Donna immediately gets to her feet heading towards the door "I'm going to take her and get her fed and changed before Jax gets back.'

I look down at my watch "According to Lowell we've got about 15 minutes."

"I'll be back in 12 then."

I smile slightly at her, but I know that it looks strained and she pauses "You'll be fine S. Jax loves you. He always has."

I nod at her and she disappears, her voice drifting over her shoulder "Still Aunty S, worried that Uncle Jax won't love her anymore. What a banana she is."

I poke my tongue out at her and she laughs as she reaches the door, pulling it open with one hand "Saw that. He loves you, stop worrying."

Watching seconds tick by on my watch it seems like the next 10 minutes pass in slow motion. Each second takes a minute the minutes taking hours. Donna appears at my side after 13 minutes, her hand cool on my arm "You okay?"

I look at her and know the fear is plain in my eyes "I'm not sure. I feel sick."

Donna lifts her hand and presses it to my forehead "You are a bit warm. Have you drunk any water today?"

I gesture at the bottle at my feet "Yeah, Lyla brought me some just before."

Donna frowns slightly, pulling me towards the picnic tables "Sit in the shade then. You need to get out of the sun."

I glance up at the sky, the cloud cover light but enough that it's not scorching hot in the garage enclosure, there's a breeze blowing slightly. Following her silently to the picnic table she makes me sit down, handing me the water "Drink that."

I nod and sip at the cold liquid in the bottle before setting it against my head "I can't be sick D. I just can't."

Donna sits beside me and tucks her arm around mine "I know S. You're just over excited."

I can't help the laugh that comes out of my throat, the sound cutting off when the sound of Harleys approaching reaches my ears. Getting to my feet I feel my eyes widen as an uncomfortable wet feeling spreads down my leg.

Looking at Donna I know my eyes are as wide as saucers when she pales slightly "What?"

"I think my water just broke." I pause and take a breath "Either that or I wet myself."

Donna sums up my feelings in one word as the first of the bikes turn through the gate "Fuck."


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Photos of Jax on Photobucket, ignore the different hair lengths Short but this chapter sets up the next one. I was blown away by the reviews on the last chapter. Thank you all.

Donna watches me with one eye as the last of the trail of bikes comes through the gate, Jax planted right in the middle. My eyes trail behind them from where I'm standing, leaning against the picnic table as the bikes are lined up.

Jax is pulled off his bike into his mothers arms while a crowd of Sons gather around, the ones that didn't make the journey to the prison. I feel an odd emotion and it takes me a second to realise the feeling is that of not belonging, of not being needed. Jax is still working his way through the Sons, his attention being pulled rapidly from one to another. Kozik grabs his attention from the other side of the group but before Jax can move Tig slaps him on the back and gestures in my direction.

It seems like it's slow motion as he turns around, finally spotting me. The smile that spreads across his face is almost heart stopping in his intensity but it quickly fades to a concerned look as he crosses the lot, dropping into a crouch beside me he grabs my hand "Babe you okay?"

Donna takes a quick glance at my face and shakes her head "Apparently the excitement of your homecoming has sent her into labour."

"Fuck. Really?" Jax's eyes dart from my face to Donna's then back to mine when I suck in a breath through my teeth.

"If that was anything to go by then yes I would say I'm in labour." My fingers slowly relax the iron grip they had on my dress, my knuckles going from white to normal colour slowly. "That did not feel like a braxton hicks."

Donna snickers, moving from my side and quietly walking to Gemma and whispering in her ear. Gemma closes her eyes for a couple of seconds before moving through the crowd towards us. Sitting down beside me she reaches over and grabs a hand "Always have to make things interesting."

"Ma." Jax says, in a low tone. "She didn't plan this."

Gemma laughs, patting Jax's shoulder "I know baby."

Pushing myself off the bench I hug Jax tightly, kissing him solidly on the lips, feeling the scratch of his goatee against my skin and the almost tentative brush of his tongue across my lips.

Sucking in a gasp of air as another pain shoots across my lower back Donna frowns "Right you. Car. Now."

I nod silently, holding my breath till the spasm that grabbed my muscles relaxes "I'm getting there D."

Donna's laugh drifts over her shoulder "I'll go unlock the car, and make sure we can get out."

I nod at her retreating back, watching as she picks her way towards the gate and the car park right at the edge where she'd pulled her car into earlier.

Returning to my side a couple of minutes later after a walk through the crowd she nods "Car's free. You ready?"

I nod again, keeping my voice for the words I'm trying to piece together in my scattered brain.

Donna waits till I start moving before she heads off again, Gemma following her till a mid-point where Gemma heads towards Clay and Donna's frame disappears behind Opie. It takes less than two minutes for me to travel the length of the lot from where I was sitting to the car but in that time Donna and Gemma obviously finish their conversations as both of them meet with Jax and I at the side of Donna's car.

Clay shakes his head, his cigar hanging out the side of his mouth while Opie laughs, clapping a hand on Jax's back "Out of jail and father take 2 all in the same day. We'll send everyone home and celebrate later."

I shake my head furiously which gets five sets of eyes burning into mine when I finally open my mouth "Jax should stay here." I pause for a second to take a couple of breaths "He just got out and we've spent a week planning this party for him." Another couple of breaths I can see that someone's about to protest, but I'm not sure if it'll be Gemma or Jax that does it first so I lean against the side of the car "Besides, it's only 6pm. The likelihood is that I'll be in labour for hours." Fixing my eyes on Jax I squeeze his hand "Stay. Have a drink and some food with your brothers. Then come see me later."

Jax opens his mouth to protest but Donna silences everyone "S. Get in the car now. Jax will stay here but you and I have to get moving."

Nodding at her she pulls open the passengers door and waits while I get settled before closing the door, darting around the front of the car I can see her mouth moving as she speaks but can't hear the words she's saying over the sound of blood rushing in my ears and my own breath.

Jax lifts his hand and presses it to the window catching my attention, the worry on his face obvious so I force a smile mouthing 'I'm okay.'

Chibs arrives at Jax's side, handing him a beer and saying something that makes Jax laugh and turn away from the car as Donna finally gets into the drivers' seat and starts the car "Ready?" She asks me as she moves out of her carpark.

Shaking my head furiously I look over at her "Nope. Right this second I'm terrified."

Donna laughs and smiles at me "Good. You should be. You were there when Becca was born. Birth is not pretty, it's not easy, it's not glamorous but it's sure worth it."


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

I finished this chapter and then closed it. For some reason the changes didn't save so I had to write the last 1/3 of this again! So irritated, and the second time round didn't flow as well.

Pulling into the carpark at the hospital Donna runs to the door, returning a couple of minutes later with a wheelchair which she pushes right up to the door, waiting while I manoeuvre myself out of the car and onto the seat.

Pushing me towards the door she leans down and looks over my shoulder "You'll be fine."

I bite my lip slightly as the doors slide open "If it's anything like your labour then Jax could get rolling drunk tonight, sleep, sober up and come in tomorrow at lunch time and be just in time for the main event."

Donna pats my shoulder firmly as she stops me at the counter where a disinterested nurse looks up and frowns "Yes?"

10 minutes later I'm silently thanking the Lamaze instructor for giving us all copies of the hospital admission paperwork and telling us to fill it out and carry it around with us until needed.

Donna helps me change from the dress which is now as close to ruined as it will ever be into a hospital gown before settling me into the bed as my OB/GYN walks into the room.

"Shouldn't you be at a party?"

I roll my eyes and nod "I should be, this is 3 weeks too soon."

Peg shrugs, her bright red hair swaying as she moves around the room, washing her hands "You know we weren't 100 percent sure of due date. We estimated the first week of June, but there was space for error in there. There's always space for error. I told you that."

I nod as she fastens a couple of machines to me, one around my belly which I remember her saying will measure the contractions and an oxygen monitor to my finger. "So tell me what you've felt so far."

Filling her in on the events that had happened she nods as she takes notes on a page, looking up idly as the machine starts printing rapidly.

A few minutes later she finishes the initial readings and her notes, leaning back on the stool she gestures towards Donna "So is your husband or mother-in-law coming like you'd planned?"

I shake my head "I told them both to stay at his welcome home party. D here gets to be the sole witness to this."

Peg frowns and looks over at Donna, lifting an eyebrow in silent question which makes Donna nod "Yeah, she told them to enjoy themselves at the party."

A sound at the door startles me as Jax brushes past the curtain which had been pulled "Like that was gonna happen." Leaning over he kisses my forehead before turning and sticking out his hand "Jackson Teller. Ignore her please, sometimes she says the dumbest things."

Peg laughs and shakes his hand "I was wondering why you'd choose to not be here."

Jax narrows his eyes at me but I can plainly see the love in his gaze "I'm not sure why she thought that either. So tell me, what do I have to do, and expect."

Peg leans forwards, her elbows on her pants legs "Of course, you wouldn't have had to deal with labour with your first son given Abel's dramatic entrance into the world."

Jax nods, his eyes drifting away for a second before he visibly shakes his head "No, unfortunately I didn't."

Peg smiles "So because this is Sarah's first baby it's all new for her as well, she has the advantage of course of being there when I delivered Rebecca."

Jax nods and gives Peg his full attention as she runs quickly through the things that she'll be watching for, the things he needs to do for me and the things that Donna will be doing.

While Jax is being bombarded with information Donna leans over and whispers a couple of questions into my ear. My nod at both has her disappearing into the attached bathroom and turning the water on into the tub before disappearing out the door to retrieve some water.

By the time that Peg is finished telling Jax everything Donna has reappeared and the bathtub is almost full. Jax jumps to his feet and helps me through to the bathroom when I suddenly realise something and lean against the door shaking my head "Baby you stay out there and ring Gem to let her know I'm fine and this will probably take hours."

Jax frowns and looks down at me, his forehead creased "Why? Don't you want my help?"

My cheeks heat up and I look down at my feet biting my lip.

Donna bursts into laughter behind him making him turn around "What?" He asks her, the frown still stuck on his face.

Donna ducks under his arm and pushes me backwards into the bathroom, closing the door behind her "Are you serious?"

I shrug, walking past her to the sink.

She snorts behind me and pulls open the door, stepping out of it "You're being stupid. Jax she's embarrassed about having a beach ball inside her."

The door closes again a second later leaving on the sound of two people breathing in the room. Jax crosses the room on silent feet, the sound of leather moving softly giving it away till he reaches my side.

His hand settles on my shoulder and he turns me around, lifting a hand to my chin he forces me to look at him, his eyes burning into mine "Are you actually embarrassed?"

I pull my head out of his grasp and push past him to sit on the closed toilet lid breathing my way through what seems to be a very short contraction.

Jax sits down on the edge of the bath and looks at me "Babe I'm not leaving till you talk to me."

I bite at my lips trying to keep inside the thoughts whirling around my brain, looking at him through my eyelashes I can see the need to know look that's plastered across his face and with a sigh I open my mouth, trying to articulate what I'm thinking.

"I've done this all alone. I went shopping for baby furniture alone. I went and brought baby clothes alone. I stocked up on nappies, wipes, formula, bottles, bibs and pacifiers alone. I went to all my OB/GYN appointments alone. I went to all Abel's hospital appointments alone. I welcomed home Uncle Otto alone. I said goodbye to Maria alone." I swipe angrily at the tear that escapes the corner of my eye. "I wanted today to be perfect. I wanted you to enjoy your ride back from the prison and then for your welcome home party to be exactly what you needed after six months. But before that I wanted me to be the first person you looked for when you got to TM. I wanted it to be my arms that you went into the second you got off your bike. I wanted your eyes to meet mine when you'd parked your bike."

I give up trying to keep the tears from leeching out of my eyes "Instead I was ignored, forgotten about. You came back to your mother and your brothers and seemed to forget your wife who was there waiting for you, the wife who has been there waiting for you for the last six months carrying your child."

Jax looks startled but now that the torrent has started I can't bring myself to stop it "You weren't there to see the struggle with running the businesses. You weren't there to see the things I did to keep Abel entertained. You weren't there when your mother was under my feet every day. You weren't there when my boobs swelled. You weren't there when my body started looking like I'd swallowed a beach ball. You weren't there when I realised I couldn't see my feet anymore. I've done everything in the last six months I could to make sure life went on as normal and you could step back into it like you'd never left but the truth is that I don't think I know how to be with you anymore."

Jax's head lifts slowly and my gaze meets his, his blue eyes swirling angrily.

AN: Who actually thought Jax _wouldn't_ be there?


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

Jax takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he rubs his hands over his face. "Hap told me your temper was a bit short today so I'm going to be understanding here and ignore all of that."

I roll my eyes as his eyes snap back to mine. With a low growl he shakes his head "Fine for some reason you want to fight today. First picking a fight with Happy now me. But you want to think you were alone through it all you were the furthest thing from alone that you could be. I spent every day that I was in that prison thinking of you, dreaming of you, wishing I hadn't been such a dumb fucker and overreacted like I did but you know my bike is an extension of me. I'm as possessive of it as I am of you and Abel." I nod in semi stunned silence and he smirks at me "I wanted you to be the first person I saw as a free man but you didn't come to the prison. I knew you'd be waiting for me at TM but I expected you to be at the front of the group not hiding in the back." I make an irritated noise in my throat which he brushes off with a wave of his hand "I understand why you weren't now, doesn't make it hurt any less that you weren't standing there waiting for me."

He sighs and moves so he's right in front of me, dropping to his knees on the cold bathroom floor "It hurt for about 10 seconds, the second I saw you sitting on that picnic table. That one look reminded me of why I do everything I do. Why the 6 months inside was worth it. You're everything to me Sarah. You and Abel, and now this one." He reaches his hand out and settles it on my belly "As for your idiocy of being embarrassed about being pregnant I think you look gorgeous." He stands up slowly, his fingers dragging off my gown covered stomach "If you want me to leave I will." He pauses, his hands hanging in front of me "But you have to tell me you want me gone."

I open my mouth to say something, but whatever it was I was going to say is cut off as the strongest contraction I'd felt grips my body. All my muscles seem to spasm, my hand shoots up and grab's Jax's, squeezing his fingers tightly I whisper "Stay. Please."

He drops back to his knees and folds his arms around mine, some dim part of my brain realises it's the first time he's hugged me since he got back, and wonders if his hands meet. Jax chuckles into my ear "I'm not going anywhere. Not even if you had told me to leave."

As the contraction passes there's a soft knock at the door and Donna opens it, poking her head in "Have you two sorted yourselves out or do I need to go down a floor and get a couple of physiatrists?"

I squeeze Jax's hand as he chuckles "No we're okay D. I think I'm over my insanity."

Donna laughs and pushes the door open further "Do you still want that bath?"

I shake my head "No. But I do need some help standing up."

Jax and Donna both help me to my feet, Jax's hand immediately settling into the middle of my back, his fingers pressing lightly. "You okay?"

I look up at him, knowing my gaze is full of pain "No. Far from it."

Waddling back into the main room Peg looks up from her notes and smiles "Decided against the bath?" 

I nod "Yeah, I don't think I could get in there, and then get back out again. And this hurts."

Peg smiles, her face lighting up "Well it is childbirth. It's not painless. If it was then men would want to do it."

Jax lifts his eyebrow but says nothing as he helps me settle back on the bed. Peg comes over and reattaches the contraction measuring machine to me and grins "How are you doing?"

I shrug "I don't know."

As she looks over at the machine a contraction squeezes my body, my hand automatically finding Jax's by my knee and gripping it till my knuckles turn white.

It seems like hours until my body relaxes again, the muscles that had bunched to the point they felt like snapping sagging till I felt boneless. Looking at Peg she frowns "That's odd."

It's Jax that reacts before I can "What's odd? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?"

Peg lifts her eyes before focussing back on the machines "She's fine, baby's fine. It just appears that your baby may be more than ready to greet you. Her contractions are the level of someone who's ready to deliver."

My head snaps towards her "What? But I've only been here for 30 minutes."

Peg shrugs "How long have you been having contractions? And don't lie."

I bite my lower lip before sighing "Okay, so maybe this morning I was feeling uncomfortable, but I just thought that they were Braxton Hicks' again so I ignored them."

Peg looks over her shoulder at the clock "This morning, what time?"

"I got up at 4, couldn't sleep for nerves." I glance over at Jax and smile "So I got up and puttered around the kitchen for a few hours. They probably started around 7am."

Donna leans over, getting right in my face "So you spent all morning having contractions and ignoring them?" I nod and she chuckles "Guess we know why you bit Haps head off."

Peg moves to usher Donna and Jax behind the curtain to perform an examination until I point out that they're both going to be there for the actual process so that's pointless.

Pulling a pair of gloves on she moves her chair to the end of the bed and completes the internal exam fairly quickly, Jax looking horrified at the whole process. "I was right. Give it another couple of contractions and I'll check again, but at this stage you're about 9 cm's dilated."

Jax looks over "What does that mean."

I shake my head when Peg opens her mouth and the second word is cervix "It means that the baby's going to be here very soon."

Jax pales and nods, his eyes flicking around the room rapidly.

15 minutes later Peg grins at me after doing another examination "Next contraction I want you to push."

I lean back against the pillows, the previous contraction having wiped most of my energy "I don't know if I can."

Donna leans over the bed, her face so close to mine that when she speaks her breath brushes my eyelashes "When I said that what did you tell me?"

I groan while she laughs, Jax looking between us confusion lighting his face. "Yeah that's right." Donna continues. "You said 'Harden up Princess'. So guess what I'm telling you now?"

Jax chuckles and picks up my hand again "Babe you're doing really well. Listen to Peg and we'll have our baby soon."

The next contraction tightens my muscles and I pull myself up, pushing as hard as I can till Peg tells me to stop. This happens four times before she looks up at me and grins "Last one."

One more push and there's a squeak from the end of the bed. Peg looks up again and grins "Congratulations it's a …"


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

A short one...but the answers to the questions. And yes please imagine Peg with bright red hair and a shoe salesman husband.

Before she can say anything another contraction tightens my body and I shake my head, the sudden unexpected pain bringing tears to my eyes. "Why do I still feel like pushing?"

Donna pats my forehead, muttering about the placenta which makes Peg nod as her assistant comes over and collects the baby, taking it away to be weighed and get the blood tests done.

Peg frowns as I push again and then looks up, her eyes widening in surprise.

Jax catches the look "What? What's wrong?"

Peg shakes her head and looks at me, her eyes locking on mine. "Do you have a history of twins in your family?"

I try and sit up, but the pain in my back stops me "No. Why! Am I having another baby?" I know my voice is shrill with shock as she looks back down.

Peg nods once "It appears so. We didn't see it on any of your scans. Nothing gave that impression." Shaking her head once she goes back to professionalism and tells me to push with the contractions. As we wait between contractions she takes off her gloves and sticks her head out the door asking someone to bring an ultrasound machine in.

Four contractions later there's a scream and she smiles at me, handing the second baby, one that none of us was expecting, off to another nurse. Looking up she meets my expectant look with another smile "I want to do a very quick ultrasound to make sure there's no surprise third baby. Any urge to push?"

I shake my head as she squirts cool gel onto my stomach, the ultrasound wand moving quickly. Showing nothing at all she nods "Just the placenta then."

After delivering the placenta in what has to be the easiest thing of the whole day Peg washes her hands again as Donna and Jax help me sit up. I'm just settling back against the pillows when the door opens, both nurses coming back in with blanket wrapped bundles in their arms.

Jax grins "So we get to know what they are now?"

Peg looks over, her hand flying to her mouth "Shit! I didn't tell you." She colours slightly "I guess the blanket colours give it away."

Picking up the paperwork she glances at it quickly "Baby one was a girl, 5 pounds exactly born at 245. Baby two was a boy, 5 pound 4 ounces born at 315."

I groan "No wonder I felt like I had a beach ball inside me. There was 10 pounds of baby."

Peg chuckles and looks back down "Initial tests show everything is fine. Blood was sent away to check for heart conditions, but both babies look fine."

Donna finishes fluffing the pillow behind me when both babies are brought over to the bed. Jax carefully lifts each of them, settling our little girl into my arms before sitting on the edge of the bed with our baby boy in his arms. The look on his face is pure love, shining from his eyes straight into the tiny wrinkled face wrapped in pale blue.

Donna disappears out of the door, returning a few minutes later with an apologetic look on her face "Jax your mom and I think all of SAMCRO are in the waiting room."

Jax looks up and shakes his head "I'll be out later. Tell them to wait."

Donna giggles and leaves the room again as Jax looks over at me, his eyes bright with tears I know he won't ever shed in front of the people still in the room "I love you."

I nod, leaning my forehead against his shoulder "I know. I love you too. And I'm sorry I was such a pain before."

Jax shrugs "Don't apologise. Now, names for these two."

I smile down at the sleeping face "Guess it's just as well we had names picked for both a girl and a boy."

"Yep." Jax says with a slow smile "Hansel and Gretel."

I slap his arm lightly with my free hand, giggling "No. Okay, Romeo and Juliet." When I poke my tongue out at him he grins widely "Thelma and Lou." Grimacing at him he chuckles and leans down, whispering in my ear "What about Bart and Lisa."

"Ick." I shake my head at him "Stop being a dick."

Jax laughs at me "Sure, swear in front of our children. Such a bad influence."

Donna sticks her head back into the room and smiles at us both "I told everyone that the delivery was over and you were fine. Because it's almost 7pm now they've closed the ward for visitors. They only let me back in cause I was a support person. Gem was not happy at being sent home without seeing the new baby." Donna chuckles "I didn't mention anything about their being two of them. That's your news to share. But right now, I'm going to take myself home."

I nod and gesture her over so I can hug her "We'll see you tomorrow."

Donna squeezes my shoulder and kisses my cheek "Course you will."

Peg looks up from the table where she was filling out paperwork "I'm all done here. You're free to move into a room whenever you want. Jax, I think given the circumstances you can stay tonight so I'm going to let the nurses know. They will come in and check on Sarah every few hours and I'll be back at 8am tomorrow but seeing the delivery was so easy I wouldn't imagine that you'll be here any longer than tonight and tomorrow night."

She leaves the room, stopping in the doorway to talk to one of the nurses who comes in with a smile and a wheelchair and removes the baby from my arms, silencing my half formed protests as she passes the bundle to Donna "I'm here to move you to your room. It's down the other end of the hall. Then we'll get you to feed them to make sure that you're able, and that they're happy to take the breast, some babies don't."

Jax opens his mouth as I move slowly but I glare at him and shake my head "Not one word Teller."

Snapping his mouth closed we hear a snort of laughter from Donna who steps backwards with our girl in her arms.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

Once I'm settled in the room, babies fed and in cribs on one side, Jax sits down in the armchair on the other side, the first time he'd sat down since arriving at the hospital.

Jax leans forward, resting his hand on my arm "You okay babe?"

I nod, my head resting on a pile of pillows, propped so that I can see the tiny babies sleeping peacefully "Surprisingly yes. Tired, sore but I'm okay."

Jax runs his hands over my skin "Go to sleep then. I'm not going anywhere."

I giggle and nod again "I'm glad to hear it. We've got three babies now." I close my eyes but a second later they snap open "We're going to need another crib."

Jax squeezes my wrist lightly "Just relax. I'm not going shopping for another crib right now. That would give it away." He leans over and kisses my forehead lightly "D knows where you got it?" At my nod she chuckles "I'll get the info off her and go pick another one up tomorrow. Then at least I'm assembling something for our kids."

I shake my head almost frantically, grabbing his hand "See if Ope or Happy can do it. I don't want you to leave me."

Jax blinks slowly before pressing his lips to my forehead again, keeping the contact as he speaks "Okay babe. I'll get Ope to."

Sitting back into his chair he pulls it at close to the side of the bed as he can, his hand curled around my head, fingers idly tugging at my hair.

It's mainly the gentle feeling that lulls me to sleep, but the smell, ever so familiar, of Jax's cologne helps my brain relax as my body does till before I can say anything else my eyes close and refuse to open again.

It's pitch black in the room when I open my eyes again, lying in the uncomfortable hospital bed it takes me a second to realise what has woken me up. Looking over towards the cribs I smile slightly at Jax who is standing silently between the two, his hand resting on a side of each. Looking up as I shuffle he smiles at me "The nurses wanted to take them into the nursery." I shake my head rapidly and he chuckles softly "I told them that they were fine in here. That we'd prefer they stay with us." A little squeak sounds again from one of the cribs making him look back down "She's awake."

I shuffle up in the bed till I'm sitting properly "Bring her here then. She's probably hungry."

Jax lifts our daughter from her bed and carries her towards me, his arms dwarfing her small frame. It takes a few minutes before she's happily sucking, an envious look on Jax's face that makes me snicker. It's almost like they timed themselves, just as our daughter finishes her midnight snack our son wakes up and announces loudly that it's his turn. Jax carries him over and we carefully swap, Jax's nose wrinkling as he gets the first diaper change.

"For someone so cute that is disgusting." He says, leaning backwards.

I giggle my way through the rest of the second feeding, and my own bout of diaper changing, silently agreeing with the exclamation of disgust but not verbalising it.

Once both babies are asleep in there cribs again Jax sits down beside me and grabs my hands "D told Ope, but he's the only one. He needed to know why they were going out tomorrow, today really, to get another crib."

I nod "I don't want anyone to know until tomorrow when everyone can come. Can you get them all here?"

Jax chuckles "I'm pretty sure that Ma will be here at 7am even though visiting hours don't start till 9."

I shift again and Jax instantly sits up "Are you okay?"

I bite my lower lip for a second before looking at him "Yeah, but it's kinda embarrassing."

Jax lifts an eyebrow and waits till I exhale "I need to go to the bathroom but I don't think my legs will support me properly."

Jax shakes his head and is at my side before I can blink, pushing the blankets off my legs "I'm here to help you babe. You have to tell me what you need though. Remember. I'm not a mind reader."

Jax helps me to the bathroom, a small room shared between my room and the room on the other side, hovering at the door when I wave him out with a blush. When I'm settled back in the bed I sigh and lean into the pillows which suddenly seem a lot more comfortable than they had been.

Tilting my head so I can look at him he waits for several seconds of silence before clearing his throat "What? Do I have baby poop on me?"

I shake my head with a smile "No, I'm just enjoying seeing you out of prison orange. I missed you baby. I didn't think I would, talking to you every day for the last three weeks, but seeing you there _free_ make me realise just how much I need the touch of your skin along with the sound of your voice."

Jax smirks, leaning back into his chair "I missed you too. And as for the touch of my skin, no can do, doctor's orders. Now, go back to sleep."

I nod, my eyes already drifting closed "Get everyone to meet here at 10am. Including your mother. Make her go to Stockton in the morning for those huge scones that I can't replicate."

Jax leans over again, pressing a kiss to my mouth, his goatee rough against my chin "I will babe. Now sleep."

AN: Next chapter we finally name the twins…names I've had picked out since what feels like forever ago. And probably a cut down in the amount I've been posting will come soon as I've had a week off work, but going back to work in two more days. :-(


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Photo of S's outfit and babies outfits on website.

Over the course of the night the twins each wake once more at around 3am, within a few minutes of each other but other than that they seem to be very solid sleepers, both of them silent till 6am when they both decide it's time for breakfast. A little after 9 am the door opens and Peg walks in with my folder in her hands and a hospital assistant on her heels carrying a change of linen for the bed.

Peg smiles at Jax where he's sitting beside the twins, his chair dragged right beside them. "Right, if you feel up to it Sarah you can go have a shower. Jackson, you help her. I'm going to do a few quick tests on the babies, follow ups from last night and we'll draw some blood to check there's no heart issues. We may want to do a scan later, but I don't see any issues with them yet so I don't think that's needed."

Jax gets out of his chair, stretching for what seems like a long time before coming to my side and helping me up "D left you some clothes aye?"

I nod and point at my bag. Just before we close the bathroom door Peg looks at me with a faintly worried look "You may hear them cry when we're drawing the blood but don't worry okay?"

I snort "Like that'll happen."

Peg laughs "Yes, Ann told me about your reaction in the Neo unit when Abel was having bloods done."

I blush faintly as Jax pushes me through the door, my toiletry bag in his hand.

By the time I'm finished showering and dressing, pulling on a pair of leggings and a button up shirt it's almost 10. Donna slips through the door, her feet silent on the floor, a smile on her face "Everyone else is waiting in the waiting room for you."

I nod and Jax holds up his phone "I know. My mother has been texting me every minute since she arrived, an hour ago." He glances over at me "With the scones you asked her to get."

Jax waits while I finish brushing my hair, pulling it into a ponytail before he cocks his head to the side "Your hair is shorter."

I snicker and nod "Yeah, I had it cut after Abel started using it as a hand hold to get onto his feet, and a steadying post when his legs wouldn't quite support him." The fact it's taken him so long to notice that the hair that did hang down to my waist now barely passes my shoulders isn't surprising, the excitement of him coming home and then me going into labour had his attention elsewhere.

"You ready?" He asks, making me sit in a wheelchair before settling the sleeping babies into my arms. "This is the end of our peace and quiet."

I snort and look down "I think these two were the end of our peace and quiet."

The two tiny faces are completely relaxed in sleep, their heads in my elbows and their wrapped legs sitting on my lap, their legs pressing together. "Your mother is going to be ecstatic."

Jax nods, leaning down and kissing my cheek "She will. But whatever happiness she feels is a fraction of what I feel. I love you, and all three of our children." Jax presses his lips to mine, allowing a brief kiss before he pulls back with a grin "Time to meet the family kids."

Donna waits patiently by the door till he looks over "Is Abel out there too?"

Donna nods "Yes. Abel is with Kenny, Ellie and Rebecca. The four of them have been keeping Neeta busy all morning. Your mother took off early to get those scones that S used as an excuse to get an extra couple of hours peace." She grins "Ope and I will go out this afternoon to get the other crib and get it assembled before you go home tomorrow."

I lean against the back of the chair and look up at Jax "Any suggestion of your mother coming to stay with us is to be denied venomously. I love her, but I don't want to share you now that I have you back. And I don't want to share the first days with these two."

Jax nods, kissing my head once more before pushing me slowly out of the room "Of course babe."

Donna leads the way down the hall to the waiting room that's right at the other end, as we reach the doors she and Jax swap places so Jax can go through the door first, Donna now pushing me "The circus begins in 5, 4, 3…"

Jax pushes open the door and leaves it cracked as he goes in, Gemma's voice immediately starting "Where's Sarah. They wouldn't let me come down last night, something about the ward being closed. I tried to explain that I was your mother but they told me it didn't matter."

Jax nods, his voice faintly muffled through the wood "There was a complication."

There's a collective inhalation that Donna and I both hear, but Clay's voice breaks over it all "Sarah's okay?"

Jax laughs "She's fine. So are the babies."

Complete silence settles over the room as Jax pulls the door open so Donna can wheel me in "This is my daughter Bailey Grace, and my son Caden Wayne. Both born yesterday and in perfect health."

AN take 2: Last chapter for a while, I haven't had a chance to get anything writen so my buffer of chapters is down to none. I'm half-way through chapter 12, but not sure how to move forwards. As always, all feedback is aprpeciated. Any suggestions for things you'd like to happen (other than Wendy not being dead) are welcome.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

Jax grins down at me then looks back up at his brothers. Opie's leaning in the back of the family room, his arms around Donna's shoulders and a grin on his face. Happy's face looks like he's not sure if he wants to grin or grimace which ends up making him look like he's just had a lump of ice dropped down his back. The rest of the guys look like they're taking a few seconds to have the words connect between their ears and the brains.

Clay is speechless, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. The second Jax said his daughter Gemma had sat down in a hurry, her knees buckling (thank god for the chair that Luann pushed up behind her). Cam, Al, Lyla and Cherry all have huge smiles on their faces, but of everyone in the room it's the voice of an unseen face that breaks the stunned looks "Two babies?"

Trinity pushes her way through the crowd and comes to my side, her face flushed with the effort it took to move Otto and Bobby apart so she could get through.

I blink in confusion as she crouches beside me, her fingers tentatively coming out and brushing over Caden's head. Looking up at me she grins "I'm back."

I chuckle and smile at her "I see that Trin. When did you get back here?"

Otto sighs "About 2 am. We'll fill you in later."

Gemma finally regains the use of her legs and makes her way to my other side, uncharacteristically falling to her knees, her wide eyes fixed on Bailey's face "Are you sure that she's a girl?"

Jax laughs behind me "Pretty sure. I got diaper duty and she certainly doesn't have what her brother has."

Gemma leans forward and kisses my cheek "Congrats baby. And thank you."

I lift an eyebrow and she reaches over, gently touching Caden's cheek "His middle name."

I shrug "We thought about naming him Thomas, but in the end we decided that no one could ever live up to Tommy's name and we didn't want to try."

Gemma swipes at her eyes, the faint glisten of a tear vanishing before it fully forms "You didn't have to."

Jax leans down and presses a kiss to his mothers cheek "Ma, we wanted to. Now drop it."

Gemma chuckles "Okay. So tell me everything."

I shake my head "Other than the fact that two of them was a surprise to all of us, including Peg, the delivery seemed to be completely normal. I get to go home tomorrow, provided nothing happens."

Gemma nods, her eyes moving between her two newest grandchildren till a grin suddenly stretches across her face "So now we have another thing to organise."

I frown slightly "What?"

Gemma bounces to her feet, her eyes shining in a way that tells me she's already in mid-plan "A welcome to the world party."

I start to shake my head again till she narrows her eyes "You promised." She whispers and I sigh, nodding instead.

As Gemma disappears through the door I catch Donna's eye and jerk my head towards the door Gemma went through "Please make sure she doesn't go overboard."

Donna laughs "Good luck with that."

In the wake of Gemma leaving everyone else seems to regain their ability to move. Jax reaches down and carefully lifts Caden from my side, pressing the tiny baby into Clay's arms it looks like a giant holding an infant. Bailey barely stirs as she's lifted up by Luann, who turns and is immediately engulfed in a circle of women, Cam, Al, Lyla and Cherry cooing and smiling silly little grins.

Jax crouches down beside me as the babies are looked at, Clay refusing to let go of Caden even as Bobby tries to lift him up. "You did good babe."

I rest my head on his shoulder, shaking it once "We did good."

Jax chuckles and runs his hand over my head "I didn't do much. But while we have a free second, wanna tell me about that addition I didn't know about?"

My brain goes fuzzy and I feel myself frowning as I try and think what he's talking about till he pats my leg lightly and the confusion clears.

"Oh that."

Jax nods "Yeah, that."

I lift my leg so that my shin is on display, parts of words visible "I missed you so Alibean and I designed something."

The banner that is now etched into my skin from my knee winding around my calf three times before stopping at my ankle has words that only make sense to the two of us. The curly writing saying 'Till the sun stops shining and the rain stops falling. I will love you till the sky falls and the planet dies.' While they were words said with desire in his voice the words Jax had said to me stuck in my head and demanded permanent imprinting on my skin as well as my heart.

AN: Further on choice of not using Thomas, I just felt it was so cliché that my entire brain rebelled at the thought of using it. However Wayne was Thomas' middle name so that was acceptable.


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

So I decided when a chapter doesn't have a picture that directly correlates to it I'm going to post whatever my desktop picture happens to be when I open the chapter to post (as 99.9% of the 900 odd photos that my wallpaper scrolls through are Charlie).

Clay had refused to give up Caden to anyone, carrying the tiny baby around like the proud grandfather he is. When Caden squawks once Clay looked at Jax in a panicked expression that made me giggle. Jax had risen from his place at my side where he was quietly talking to Opie and retrieved Caden and brought him to me before Clay could even say a word.

Looking up from the screwed up face of my son I'd shrugged apologetically "Sorry, time for them to eat and then go back to sleep."

Jax stayed out in the family room while Donna and I took the twins back to the room, got them fed and to sleep before Jax reappeared with a strange look on his face.

"What?" I'd asked, a sense of panic at not being able to read his expression.

Shaking his head in a daze he smiles at me and leans over kissing my forehead "Nothing for you to worry about babe."

Lifting an eyebrow at him he sighs and leans back into the armchair "But you will, won't you?" At my nod he glances over at Donna who shakes her head once, gives me a hug and leaves the room, calling over her shoulder that she'll be back later with Abel.

My head swivels between where Donna had made her rapid exit to the darkening eyes of my husband. "Clay is going on about me taking the VP role again, I still don't want it."

I stay silent, knowing that there's more to it than just that, sure enough after a couple of seconds of silence he sighs "And Trinity going to be staying with us till the decision is made about if Luann can handle another woman's child staying in her house."

I nod, understanding Lu's reluctance to have someone elses child, a child she didn't know existed, suddenly in her house 24/7. "That's okay, she'll be fine with us. And she's good help."

Jax snickers "And having her there means that there's nowhere for Ma to stay." I frown and he shrugs "Hap told me he's not leaving till he knows you're settled back home."

I roll my eyes but nod "I'll talk to him and tell him to go home. I think staying with me, at your request, was a good thing for him. It gave him a detachment from his place while he and Cam sorted out his Mom's stuff."

Jax grins "I know, that's why I did it."

I poke my tongue out at him and he growls till I open my mouth to speak again "And that's why Clay is pushing for you to take the VP role. Everything you do is about the club and the good of the members, and it's future."

Jax shrugs, trying to brush it off till a deep voice at the doorway makes him stiffen "She's right Jax."

Jax turns his head and meets Otto's eyes, getting to his feet, the pair do their standard backslapping man hug before Jax leaves and Otto looks at me, a grin twitching his lips "Thought we better talk some shit about my kid."

After Otto had left and Donna had dropped Abel off Anne comes up to visit, cooing over Bailey and Caden and tickling Abel's tummy with a smile on her face. When she leaves she stops in the nurses station and before dinner a cot arrives in the room for Abel to sleep in that night, the nurse smiling through her explanation that with Jax only just home it might be unsettling for Abel to go from me to Jax so suddenly, then me back with two additional attention seekers.

Jax sighs unhappily till she smiles at him and tells him he's welcome to sleep in the armchair, even though they're uncomfortable. He smiles brightly at me and then turns to her with a smirk "Nothing could be more comfortable to me than a place to sleep where my wife and children are right beside me."

The nurse smiles and leaves, reminding us quietly that I'll be released the following morning, provided that Peg says everything's okay.

As the door closes I adjust myself to a proper sitting position on the bed, Abel curled with his head on my calf sound asleep "How's Doj?"

Jax chuckles for a long couple of seconds "When I went home before to shower and change, and tell Ope where you're orders were to set the new crib he wouldn't let me in the house to start with."

I snicker but sit waiting while he pulls his phone from his pocket "When the great clown finally let me through he followed me up to our room and literally pushed me over."

Turning the phone around he shows me a photo that was sent from Opie's phone of him lying on the floor with Doj lying on him, his butt on the floor and his front paws on Jax's shoulders.

"How long did he kiss you for?" The bright pink tongue that is mid-slap at Jax's chin makes me laugh more than the disgusted expression on Jax's face.

"Oh not long. D arrived with the twins and he took off in a great hurry." He snaps his phone closed and puts it back in his pocket "What's up with Trinity and why is she back?"

"Trin doesn't know this yet but she won't be going back to Ireland."

"Why?"

I run my hand through the bottom of my hair, tugging lightly "Because Maureen Ashby is dead. Otto didn't give me all the details, just that the IRA found she'd been supplying information that resulted in the deaths of two Belfast charter members three years ago, and the arrest of one of the Kings sons."

"Fuck." Jax says on an exhale "That explains some shit."

My eyebrows lift as he swears twice in one short sentence, my eyes flicking to the sleeping bodies of our children "Language baby."

Jax snorts "Please, they'll learn more than that by the time they start school. Besides, we have bigger problems than their non-existant vocabularies."

"What?"

"If Maureen Ashby was suppling information to the wrong parties then the whole Belfast charter is going to be under examination. I need more information from Otto before I can say anything for certain, but some of us may have to go to Belfast to deal with the blowback."

I'm shaking my head before he's even half finished speaking, knowing somewhere deep in my brain that I'm not going to like the words that come out of his mouth. "No." I spit out the word like a mouthful of venom.

Jax looks at me, his face stressed and troubled, holding more knowledge and responsibility then a man of 24 should. "You know I won't go unless I have to."

Leaning back into the pillows I cross my arms "And you know you'll be needed. You're the future President of the charter baby. If it was any other charter, any other State, any other _person_ you wouldn't have to go but Jax you know who you are, you know the legend that hangs over your head."

Jax snorts and folds himself in half, his arms resting on the bed, his head falling onto his forearms "Sometimes it's more like a noose around my neck." Looking up at me I see the pain in his eyes at the mere thought of having to leave so soon after getting home.

Lifting one hand I rest it on his head, my fingers tugging at his hair "You know Gemma will tear strips off Clay if he tries to send you away now. Besides, it's not like you can leave the country."

Jax chuckles "We're not going to be going through customs at either end babe. _If_ we go."

I nod once, my mind already churning through possibilities. Landing on something Jax sits up with a surprised look as a huge grin splits my face. "What?"

I shrug one shoulder casually, moving the hand that was on his head to Abel's where my fingers abesently comb through his whisper fine blonde hair "If you're going to Belfast, so am I. But I'll go legitmatelty _with_ our children."

"What?!" Jax sounds horrified by the idea "Babe Belfast isn't the best place for you to be with three infants. It's not safe."

I narrow my eyes at him "Exactly. If it's not safe for me then it's not safe for you and you are _not _going. I don't care if Clay needs you there, I need you here more."

Jax nods once, reaching over and tangling his fingers with mine "I'm not going unless I have to. But you're not going at all."

Sighing I shake my head against the pillow, twisting my head to look out the window. "I just got you back Jax and now you're telling me you might have to go again." Looking at him quickly I can see he's listening to me, even though his eyes are focused on Abel "The club asks a lot of me and most of it I'll give without a second thought, or any hesitation at all. You know that. Clay asks a lot of me as not only your Old Lady but also his niece and most of it I'm fine with it. This, I'm not fine. He can't have you."

A tear slides down the side of my face, lifting my hand to swipe at it angrily I look at Jax, whispering "Just once please baby put me first, if you can't put me first, put our children first."

The sound of a throat clearing in the door startles me, but not as much as the look on Clay's face does. "Jax can I have a second with Sarah?"

Jax gets up and kisses my forehead "Sure Clay. I'll go get some coffee. You want anything babe?"

A single shake of my head has them swapping places, Clay folding his huge frame into the seat "He told you?"

"What about, Trinity moving to California and staying with me? Maureen Ashby's death? The charter having to go to Belfast? Take your pick, today I seem to know a lot."

Clay sighs "That last one. He has to go."

There's no need to specify who 'he' is. My veins spark with anger at this whole thing, Jax having come out of jail and me going into labour the same day now him having to go away "No."

Clay's eyes widen and his hand tightens minutely "What?"

I shrug, "You heard me. No. You can't have him. Not right now. You heard me, I'll give a lot for this Club, the Sons have done a lot for me but I can't give you Jax again, not right now."

Clay sighs again, his eyes holding sorrow and something else "Pumpkin you know I wouldn't ask if I didn't have to. The Kings want to see him."

I shrug "I don't care." I know I"m acting like a child, but having just given birth I feel like I have the right too "If they want to see him they can come here to California where he's going to be with his wife and three children."

Clay standing up and leans over the bed. Pressing a kiss to my forehead he sighs deeply "You know if I could I would but the Kings want to see him and we can't say no, not with how easily they let pull back from it all." 

I stick my lower lip out in what I know is a pout but nod once "I know." I whisper as his hand hits the doorhandle. "I know." I repeat a little louder when his head twists "I know I have to let him go with you, but it doesn't mean I'm not going to sulk and make you_ all_ make it up to me."

Clay laughs, pulling the door open to reveal a semi-startled looking Happy on the other side.


	14. Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile. Sorry all for the delay in this chapter, I've been more into reading lately then writing but I think I've finally got a little bit back in the groove. I've read the first three of the Mortal Instrument series, re-read 50 Shades (don't judge lol), read both of Nikki Pink's books that are currently out, and all Madeline Sheehan. Anyway; without further rambling I give you...Chapter Fourteen.

Happy looks a little uncomfortable as he and Clay swap places, just as the door starts to close I lift my head "Hey Clay." Clay turns and looks over his shoulder at me, almost grimacing at the grin on my face "I want 2 weeks with him before you take him anywhere. Stall the Kings for that long and you can have him, and I'll sort transport for you."

"I'll see what I can do. 2 weeks might be too long, they want it sorted before it happened."

I shrug casually "So start by telling them that I just gave birth to twins and I have demanded in my pain induced state that you wait a month. 2 weeks will seem resonable by the time you negotiate to then."

Clay chuckles and starts down the hall, his muttered words reaching my ear just before the door closes "Why does she have to be logical?"

Happy takes the seat that had been dragged to the bedside, his eyes flicking around the room, stopping on Caden then Bailey he shakes his head "Jax said you wanted to talk to me."

I frown for a second, wondering where on earth that came from, then remembering the way I'd treated him I silently thank my husband for interferring. "Yeah I did. I wanted to apologise to you."

Happy narrows his eyes as his gaze locks back on me "What for?"

I exhale in a little snort and wave my hand around the room "For the way I spoke to you. I had no right to be so rude."

Happy laughs, his face crinkling into lines as he tilts his head back, chuckles shaking his shoulders for what seems like an exceptionally long time. Eventually gathering his composure again he looks back at me "Cupcake I'm not worried about you having a bitch at me."

I smile and reach over, grabbing his hand and squeezing "Good, cause I would hate it if Bailey's godfather hated me."

"Her what?" Happy looks shocked, his hand lifting towards his face, then dropping back into his lap.

"Her godfather. Jax and I talked about it, we're not doing the whole Christening thing, cause well lets face it none of us are like that. But we do agree that all three of the kids need godparents."

Happy's stunned expression doesn't lessen, the look strange on the tough mans face "But why me?"

I shrug one shoulder, looking over at the sleeping faces of the twins, their cribs head to head then glancing down to where Abel has slept through the conversation with Clay, and now Happy. "Because we both know how much you will protect her. She's going to need someone who can teach her how to throw a punch, and how to clean a gun, how to change a tyre and how to do a handbrake turn."

"Shouldn't Jax do that?" The club enforcer asks, his eyes lit with curiosity.

I shake my head "Jax will teach her everything she needs to know to be a good daughter, I'll teach her how to be a good woman. She needs someone who isn't going to be scared to give her a lesson that leaves her with skinned fingers and aching muscles. Not that I am in any way giving you permission to hurt her." I glance over at her, even so soon after her birth it's obvious to me she's going to be stunningly gorgeous when she gets older "She's going to need to know how to defend herself in case anything happens because of her connection to the Sons. Abel and Caden too, but they'll get that from their father and every other Son. You know that Jax wouldn't be able to teach her everything she knows without worrying about her. She's going to be a daddy's girl, I can tell."

Happy snickers and glances over his shoulder at the door "Jax is already wrapped around her finger?"

I nod "Yeah that's the one."

Happy stands up, crossing to the crib and looking down at the newborn covered with a pale pink blanket "Who else?"

"Huh?"

Happy reaches down and presses his fingers to Bailey's head "Who else did you pick as godparents?"

"Abel's are going to be Ope and Cam. Caden's will be D and Chibs. Bailey's are you and Al." He frowns slightly and I smile "We did that on purpose. Jax wanted to match everyone up in couples but I pointed out that if anything happened to both of us we needed their to be more than one option."

Happy returns to his seat and shrugs casually "I can get that, but you know nothing's gonna happen to you. Not on my watch."

Shuffling myself around on the bed I reach down and stroke Abel's hair as he starts to stir "I know that Hap. Nothings going to happen to anyone. Now tell me when the fuck Cam's coming to see me?"

Happy chuckles and shrugs "I dunno. She was gonna come with me today but got caught up doing some shit for you."

"What stuff?"

"Helping Lyla with a stocktake you asked to be done this week."

I blink up at him and search my memories "Oh shit. Did I?"

Happy nods "Yeah you did. Cam and Al were both heading there this morning to help."

The door swings open again and Cam, Al, Lyla and Cherry all fall through it "And it was a bitch. You owe us. Big time girlie." Cam says with a chuckle, kissing Happy on the top of his head then dropping into his lap with a sigh. "But you need to do some ordering."

Happy detangles himself from under Cam and sets her down "And that's my cue to leave. See you at home later?"

Cam nods "Yep. Love you baby."

Happy just nods and pulls the door behind him as he leaves.

Lyla sets the work laptop on the tray beside me "Numbers are all in there. When you get a chance you need to do some ordering."

Al lifts Abel's leg and sits on the end of the bed, nodding "Yep. There's like four pairs of pants left in the whole place."

Cherry snorts "Only cause you took two of them with you, there would have been six otherwise."

I zone out for a second, till Cam waves her hand in front of my face "You okay there chickie?"

I shake myself out of the thoughts of Belfast and Irish Kings. "Yeah I'm okay. So the Sugar's been going okay? What about Sweet." I mentally chuckle at the names picked for my two businesses.

Cherry grins at me "It's going better than we thought, even after upgrading the business plan after the first couple of weeks it's still busier than we expected."

I frown and notice how tired she looks "You need more help?"

She shrugs but Al nods "She does. At least one more full time, maybe one more part time, mornings probably."

I twist my head to look at Al and nod once "Sure, advertise. Maybe the part time we could look at a student, someone from the high school."


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I'm so sorry for the delay!

The rest of my afternoon passes slowly, the girls leave just before 4 and I'm left alone, completely without company till just after 7 when Jax finally arrives back, his face flushed and his hair damp.

"Hey babe." He comes straight to my side, kissing me on the forehead, tickling Abel on the tummy then sitting down in the uncomfortable hard backed chair that was brought in when the girls came in "Sorry I was gone all day."

I shrug, slightly annoyed, but happier to see him than anything "It's okay, I've only been alone for the last few hours." I pause and chuckle at myself "Well not alone with these three, but you know what I mean."

Jax nods, Abel wiggles off the bed looking at Jax and holding his arms up and waits. Jax chuckles, leaning over and lifting his son up and sitting him on his leg, Abel babbling a million miles an hour with noises that don't make any sense.

Jax plays dutiful dad, nodding and smiling down at his son, the relaxed way he leans back into the chair making me smile and forget my irritation. "So what have you been doing?"

Jax looks up at me through his eyelashes and grins "Getting the twins room set up for them, assembling the other crib and listing to D and Ope tell me all the things I missed. Watched a bit of the video Ope did for me."

I cringe at that making him laugh loudly "It was funny, and I have to thank Cam for those photos."

I shake my head "Nope. No thanking Cam for anything." Exactly one week after Jax's sentencing Cam had shown up at my door with a grin on her face and a white tank top in her hand. Forcing me into the shirt she'd put me against the brown wall where she'd proceeded to take a photo of me from the front and both sides. "It felt like having mug shots taken."

Jax rubs his hand over his face and grins at me, his eyes still sparkling with laughter "But I liked them."

I look over at him with a raised eyebrow "You liked watching you wife get fat?"

Jax shakes his head, pulling his chair closer to mine and grabbing my hand "You weren't getting fat baby. You were growing our children."

I look over at the twins, sound asleep in their cribs again, "I guess there is one good thing that's come from going into labour before my due date."

"What's that?" Jax says, gently pulling his phone from Abel's hand, looking down with a smile he tickles Abel's tummy again "You're going to be a pickpocket?"

I giggle and shrug "Yeah, probably. He's already managed to take off with a few cell phones. Not sure how he does it seeing he's not walking yet. The good thing about early birth is I didn't get any bigger and it won't take long to get back into my pp clothes."

"Peepee? Did you wet them?" Jax asks with a grimace making me laugh.

"No, as in the letter P. Pre-Pregnancy. I've been stuck in the same sort of stuff for the last four months, I'm looking forward to my normal clothes again."

Jax shakes his head "I have a feeling I won't be. I talked to Ma while I was out too."

I sigh and lean back into my chair "And?"

"She's filled me in on you not wanting Neeta to pick up any more days. Wanna tell me why?"

I shrug, standing up and slowly walking to the twins cribs "Damn interfering mothers-in-law. Neeta will be coming in two days a week, with her three days at the Winstons' that has Neeta working three days a week looking after children three children each day. I'm not giving her any more work."

Jax lifts an eyebrow "So you're doing it to save Neeta work?"

I nod for a second but catching the look on Jax's face I start shaking my head "That's not the only reason. I also don't want someone else raising my children. Two days a week with her there means I have five days a week to be mommy, two days a week to be Mrs Teller, business owner and every night to be your wife."

Jax's eyes darken and his tongue appears, dragging slowly over his bottom lip till his face falls and he looks like a deprived child "But Peg said no sexual activity for at least six weeks."

I nod "Yeah I know. It's four weeks till I can get another contraceptive shot. And I can't believe I forgot the last one."

Jax looks up at me and cocks his head to the side "What do you mean?'

I sigh, returning to my chair and waiting as Abel struggles off Jax's knee and crawls towards the pile of toys brought in for him "With everything that was happening I missed my shot. It's my fault I got pregnant."

Jax frowns, pushing himself off his chair and dropping to his knees in front of me "Babe are you unhappy about having them?" I shake my head and open my mouth to say something but he covers my mouth with his fingers "Do you not want them?" I shake my head frantically, the thought of my kids not being there making my heart race "Then why are you worried?"

I wait till he removes his fingers before licking my lip, his fingertip has left a sweet slice in the middle of my lip and I wonder for a second what it is before dragging my brain back to the issue at hand "I thought you might have been upset, we talked about it and agreed 2 years between them, there's barely a year between them."

Jax bursts into laughter, so loud that it startles the twins who both make an unimpressed squeak, speaking as he crosses and carefully lifts Bailey up "Yes, we did talk about it. But who cares. They're here and they're perfect. Earlier then we planned or not."

Passing Bailey to me he returns and picks up Caden, our son barely making a noise as he's cradled to Jax's chest and carried across the room.

Carefully arranging both of them on the tri-pillow Donna had brought me I grin at him as he sits back down "So I talked with Clay."

Jax twitches an eyebrow "And?"

"I told him I want you for two weeks before any trip. That gives me two weeks to sort out your transport. Elliot has some machinery due to go to Belfast soon, but I'm not sure exactly when and when the plane will be back. I can probably buy you a week over there. Will that be long enough?"

Jax shrugs, leaning forward and running his fingertip over Caden's head "It should be."

I nod, waiting while the kids feed and pointedly ignoring Jax and his almost jealous look till both kids are fed, burped, changed and back in their cots. "What?"

Jax shakes his head, leaning over and kissing me softly "Nothing at all."

I flick my eyes towards the ceiling, not having the energy to argue with him, the tiredness I can etched on his face enough to tell me not to push, instead I open my laptop to finish the work stuff that Lyla had left me with.

AN: So my current book that's had me distracted is American Sniper. I loved the move, disappointed it didn't get an Oscar but oh well. Oh, and I did re-read what I've already written (all of it from Hale Charming to now) what a journey…so far. And I've been recommended to read Sylvia Day, anyone read her, any suggestions for other authors to look up?


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Peg comes in not long after lunch, giving us the clearance to go home, but it takes another four hours before all the paperwork is done for all three of us and the final release papers are signed.

Watching Jax as he attempts to put all three seats in the back seat I end up sighing "I'm going to have to get a van. They're not going to fit baby."

Jax snorts and shakes his head "Nah, they're all in." The twins seats, including the new one that Donna had picked up for us, are facing the back of the car with Abel's in between facing the front.

I sigh and brush my hand across my forehead "Thank god for that. I kinda like my car."

Jax laughs as the three kids are buckled into their seats, each of us testing all three seats and belts before the back doors are closed.

It takes me a few minutes to get into the passengers' seat and adjust myself so I'm comfortable but when I nod at Jax he starts the engine and backs out of the carpark. "Ma's at the house by the way."

I sigh and lean back into the seat "Why?"

"She thought it'd be nice having a family dinner." Catching my look he chuckles "Don't worry, she's done all the cooking. That's why she didn't make it in today."

I close my eyes briefly before opening them again and nodding "Okay, as long as everyone is aware I'm still pretty tired."

Jax reaches over and picks up my hand, lacing his fingers through mine and pulling it to his mouth where he kisses my fingers "Babe I told them all that when you said go they had to go, no arguments."

"Good. We have three kids that have to sleep. And Mommy needs her sleep too."

Jax squeezes my hand but doesn't say anything.

The rest of the drive home is relatively silent. Abel in between the babies in the back seat seemed fascinated by the tiny bodies on either side of him, but also seemed a bit scared of them, his hands inching towards them then shooting backwards like he thought they'd hurt him.

Finally pulling into the driveway there's a trio of bodies out the front door, Al and Cam both claiming one of the babies while D picks up Abel while I sit looking a little stunned at the lack of even a hello from any of them.

Jax walks beside me slowly as we go up the stairs and into the house where Gemma is waiting just inside the door with a smile and a huge glass of juice "Jax rang me and said the doctors told you to keep your liquid intake up."

I mock glare at Jax but nod. "The only downside of upping liquid intake is upping the liquid output."

Gemma chuckles and moves out of the way "Everyone's in the living room, dinner will be ready in about 2 hours if you want to go rest."

I shake my head "No I think I'm okay. I napped while I waited for the release papers."

Walking slowly through the house Jax darts past me and straight into the kitchen with my bag, reappearing as I reach the open living room door and stop.

Looking over my shoulder at him I lift an eyebrow brow at him "What'd you do?"

Jax shakes his head "I did nothing. Blame D and Ope."

Donna bounces to my side, her arms now free of Abel, grabbing hold of my hand she pulls me into the room and pushes me towards the chair in the corner "We rearranged in here to make it easier for you, the chair will be easier for you to get out of."

I frown slightly at her and sit down slowly before realising why she's done that. Moving one of Jax's lazi-boys into the living room seemed like a strange move till I realise it gives me arm rests on both sides to help me down and back up again.

Once I'm settled in my seat Donna crouches down beside me with a grin "Happy?"

I shrug "I'm happy to be home." My eyes drift towards Jax where he's standing talking to Opie "But we haven't addressed anything."

Donna pats my hand "Give it some time."

"I know, he's just come home and instead of having a few weeks to get used to each other instead it's getting used to each other, and two whole new human beings. One of which we didn't know existed."

Donna glances over her shoulder at the rest of the room and then looks back at me, her eyes holding concern in equal measure as the love that shines at me "You know when Ope came back it took months for things to go back to normal. I think you have an advantage over me though."

I cock my head to the side, my gaze drifting over the room once, checking on Caden in Jax's arms, Bailey in the arms of Chibs standing right next to Jax and Abel sitting on Clay's lap before focusing back on Donna "How? How do I have an advantage?"

Donna chuckles "You know Jax so well, you know what makes him tick, what he loves, what he hates, what he want is and what he wants to be. You know more about the ins and outs of the club than anyone else not wearing a patch, including Gemma half the time." I stifle my snort of disbelief but shakes her head once, rising from her crouch and sitting on the arm of my chair, her forearm coming across the back of my neck "Even if you want to disbelieve that part you do know Jax better than anyone else alive, trust him. Give him time to get used to being out and a father of three. Support him, listen to him when he says when he speaks, half of what he will say won't be relevant but half of it will give you insights you aren't expecting."

Leaning my head back I rest it on her arm for a second, thinking about what she's said before grinning at her "So basically you're telling me to shut up and wait?"

Donna nods "Exactly."

Jax approaches, baby less for the first time since the hospital that morning "The kids are hungry. Ma took them upstairs. Do you need help?"

I shake my head, pressing the sides of the chair as I stand up "Nah I'm good. They'll probably fall asleep again when they're fed but I'll bring the monitor down with me."

Jax grabs my arm just before I can walk past him, pulling me to his chest and looking down "I love you."

Pressing myself against him I squeeze his waist, mumbling into his kutte "I know baby. I love you too."

The smiles that crosses Jax's face lights up his eyes as he leans down to press a kiss to my forehead "I'll see you when you're back down here. Call if you need anything."


	17. Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Gemma is sitting on the armchair when I come through the door, both babies in her arms "They're heavy when you hold them together."

I chuckle as I walk across the room, sitting carefully on the rocking chair "10 pounds of baby."

Gemma shakes her head after I'm settled with the pillow I'd grabbed. "How are you doing sweetheart, honestly?"

A million thoughts run through my head, the dozens of things I need to ask, the questions that are haunting me. But everything I need to ask, all the answers I need are locked in the pale haired head of my other half downstairs.

Smiling at the 2/3s of my children in my arms I shake my head "I'm good."

Gemma smiles at me as she gets up, walking towards the door "Okay."

Less than five minutes later the door pops open again and the head I was thinking about peeks through "You okay, Ma said you needed something."

I sigh, lifting Bailey and burping her quickly before holding her out to her father "New diaper please, this one's still eating."

A few minutes later Caden pulls away, his face relaxing into sleep. Before I can stand to take him and change him Jax lifts him from my arms and does it for me.

Settling Caden into his crib beside his sister he returns to my side, pulling the armchair towards me. Lifting my hand off my lap he laces our fingers together "So shall we talk now, or later?"

The expression that crosses my face I know is incredulous "We have a house full of people downstairs and you want to talk?"

Jax shrugs, squeezing my fingers "Now's as good a time as any. The guys are happily drinking the booze that was brought for my welcome home party. The girls are all in the kitchen cooking and talking shit. We have maybe half an hour before someone comes looking and as much as I'd like to use that time reacquainting myself with you in other ways we can't. So instead of brushing it off till the issues we both know are there build to the point of exploding and you have another bitch session at me how bout we do something about it now."

My cheeks colour at the reminder of my attitude towards him from the day he came home but his smile tells me he knows how I feel.

I blink slowly, trying to sort through the questions. The one that comes straight to the front of my brain surprises me when it bypasses my mental filter "Did you miss me?"

Jax inhales in such a rapid intake of breath that he coughs "Seriously? Of all the things you could ask, that's the first one?" I look down at my hands and shrug, a sort of apologetic movement that jerks my whole body from the waist up. "I'm not sure if you remember, I told you at the hospital why time I served was worth it, because I came back to you. You and my children are the centre of my world."

Jax lifts my hands to his mouth, kissing my knuckles softly "I missed you every second of every day I was inside. Every breath I took hurt cause you weren't there breathing the same air. Every time I thought of something I wanted to say to you I had to wait. You know how hard it was, you went through that too. But you had something I didn't. You had our family here, around you every day to share the pain, I didn't." Jax laughs "That's the long answer. The short answer is yes; I missed you."

My fingers tighten around his and he smirks "My question now. Did you actually think I was going to let you go through birth alone?" Seeing the hesitation in my eyes he chuckles "Just speak. Don't overthink."

I giggle "Okay then, you're asking for it. No thinking means you're going to get what comes straight into my mind."

Jax nods once, muttering "Good." under his breath.

"I wasn't expecting to give birth the day you came home. I was expecting to have time together before labour happened, but apparently time didn't agree. You'd literally just gotten out so yes I was expecting you to stay back with your brothers and your family. I was expecting that I'd go to the hospital and be there for ages before anything happened. I would have gotten D to ring you when it got close." Jax snorts and I shake my head "Well I think I would have."

"Babe, you and my kids are my family. But it's your turn." Jax says with a smile. "Don't overthink."

"How hard was it?"

"What?" Jax says, cocking his head.

"Being inside."

Jax pulls on my hand gently till I stand up and end up on his lap, completely ignoring my stuttered protests about being too heavy. "It wasn't bad during the day. They kept us busy, and it certainly helped having lots to read with that shit you were sending me." My cheeks colour faintly again but he shrugs "It was good though. Using the daylight hours to get me up to date with our finances, and everything we have invested. I used those reports to help me get to sleep at night, and seeing how quickly the porn house brought in income was a bright spot, knowing that the club had already paid you back what we used before I even got out was a highlight. Seeing the profit shoot so high so fast was a surprise."

Jax stills completely, his voice becoming sort of distant "The nights, they were difficult. I'd turn over wanting to hug you, to absorb your warmth and you weren't there, all there was a brick wall. I'd fall asleep thinking of you here with Abel, growing our son." Snorting softly he looks up at me "And daughter. I'd wake up in the middle of the night hoping it was all a bad dream, that I realise it wasn't. I'd hear the noise of the prison that just never stopped and it would be a slap in the face of where I was. My cell mate got how I was feeling though, he'd been there for two months of an 18 month sentence when I arrived, his wife was pregnant with their fourth kid and he knew he'd miss that kids birth and first year or so of its life so he got how angry I was at being there, even though it was my own fault."

He smiles at me, his eyes crinkling "The best were the weekends, when you would come and visit. I mean, it was good seeing everyone else on those days you couldn't come, but when the guards would tell me you were there I couldn't help smiling, no matter how shit the week had been. The monotony of each day is what got to me. Here you never know what's coming next, between the garage, the club, the kids and you every day's a surprise. There it was like Groundhog day over and over."

I can't help the giggle "180 times over."

"Exactly." Wrapping his arms around my waist he holds me close, my back folding so my head rests on his shoulder. Sitting in silence for a few minutes he eventually turns his head and burrowing his nose into my neck "You smell different."

I twist to look at him "Is that you're question?"

Jax shakes his head "Nope. But you do smell different."

I shrug the shoulder away from his nose "That's cause I gave birth. Peg said to avoid all perfumes and scented things for a few days after birth so that the baby, or in our case babies, get used to my smell."

"Now, my question." I nod, waiting while Jax's eyes seem to search mine, our eyes locked together while our breathing comes in time "I've told you how bad it was inside, how bad was it here?"

I twist my head, looking around the room and shrug "It was okay."

Jax squeezes my hip "No thinking; just tell me."

I sigh leaning further into his arms "I feel bad though, you were away from us all and it was just horrible here. I hated every second you weren't around. Having D there helped a bit, but some days I just wanted everyone to leave me alone, and it seemed like those days everyone was here, or it was like a revolving door at the front of the house. One person would leave and someone else would arrive. Your mother was coming in every day, at least twice. She'd show up just after breakfast to make sure I'd eaten and that Abel was behaving then she'd leave after about 10 minutes. She'd come back either at lunch time or dinner time if Abel was with Neeta." I snort "As a side note, how are we going to distinguish between the now two sets of twins?"

Jax shrugs "Ours are younger, and much cuter. But continue."

I inhale deeply, letting the breath out slowly "Granted having Neeta around was a blessing some days. I remember one in particular, Gemma had already been in but not long after she left Abel started crying and I couldn't get him to stop. I had no idea what was wrong with him. I'd fed him, burped him, changed him, cuddled him, played with him, I read him a book, gave him a bath and he was still crying. Neeta arrived and within 5 minutes of her coming in the door she'd stopped Abel crying and had Al and Cam on the way to take me out of the house for the morning." Jax cocks his eyebrow waiting for more explanation. "Abel was picking up on the fact I had a bit of cabin fever. I hadn't left the house in about four days by that stage, with everyone coming to me I didn't need to, but I guess I just forgot that my whole world doesn't involve Abel. While it does centre on my children, and always will, I do have a life outside of being Mommy."

Jax nods "I get that babe, I really do."

I smile at him "There's more to me than Mommy, there's business owner, sister, friend, aunt."

Jax clears his throat "I think the second most important thing you are that you didn't mention is Old Lady."

I smirk at him kissing his cheek, revelling in the fact that I can, my lips pressing to his whiskers in a familiar prickling that reminds me in an almost jolting feeling of how much I love the man currently holding me. Tightening my arms around his neck I squeeze, feeling my muscles in my forearms tense. "I love you Jackson Teller."

Jax chuckles, leaning further back into the chair "I know. I love you too Mrs Teller. I think our time up here is almost done though. You ready?"

I slide off his lap waiting till he stands up so I can hug him again, my arms wrapping around his waist while I press myself to his chest "As long as you're there baby I'm good."

I feel Jax kiss the top of my head "If I can help it I'm not going anywhere."

"Apart from Belfast." I mutter into his chest as his arms tighten around me. "But I get you have to go."

Jax and I stand there for a long time, wrapped in each other's arms until a soft knock at the door interrupts us and Cam sticks her head through the gap "Gemma said that dinner's ready."

We both sigh, pulling apart and as I move towards the door Jax grabs my hand, pulling me back to him and kissing me firmly on the lips "I wouldn't be going if I didn't have to. We'll talk about it more okay?"

I nod once and lean over to grab the baby monitor before the three of us head back downstairs, following the sounds of the Sons, Old Ladies and their children that make up our family.


	18. Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

A shorter one, but I seem to be back into writing *YAY*

After dinner, while we're all still sitting around the table waiting for Gemma to bring out the dessert she'd brought the monitor makes a noise beside me and I get to my feet, returning a little while later with two fed, changed babies. Handing Bailey to her father I sit down back in my seat with Caden in my arms.

A few minutes later Gemma stands up and comes to our sides leaning over the back of my chair she cocks her head to the side "You better now?"

I poke my tongue out at her "Yes interferer."

Jax squeezes my thigh in the place where his hand has been all night "Be nice. She was looking out for you."

Gemma laughs, patting Jax's cheek "Actually baby, I was looking out for both of you."

Jax and I share a look and she shrugs casually "The first stretch is hard, made harder for you both with the pregnancy."

I snort and lean back in my chair so I can look up at her "First and last I hope."

"We all hope that sweetheart." Gemma gets back to her feet and returns to her chair at the other end of the table with a smile, and the bottle of wine she'd been collecting in her hand.

As she sits down Clay stands up, the whole room falling silent as he stands there for the span of time for each of us to breathe "I'm not one for speeches so what I'm gonna say is short, yes you can all say thank god." He chuckles and looks down at Jax and I "Welcome home son, we've missed you. Sarah, you did good pumpkin. And my fifth and sixth grandchildren, Bailey and Caden. Welcome to the world."

I snicker and he raises an eyebrow "Something to add?"

I shrug one shoulder and look over at the infant sleeping with her hand wrapped around leather "Welcome to this crazy, beautiful, fucked up world my children." Glancing around the table I grin "At least I know that Bailey will have lots of uncles to warn off any boys."

Happy grins in a sadistic way that makes me smile in reply, tilting my head to the side.

Jax lifts his hand and grabs my free one, squeezing "While we're all sitting here we did have an announcement to make." Everyone's eyes flick between us in surprise till Jax grins "We've finally decided on who to title with the godparent role for Abel, along with the twins. Those in question already know." Jax looks over at me "You go first."

I poke my tongue out at him and ignore the heated glance he shoots me "I picked godmothers, apparently because I'm a chick." I glance down at the baby sleeping on me "Which is a good thing, Jax wouldn't have been able to handle childbirth." Jax makes a sound of disgust, leaning back and picking up his beer "So Abel's godmother is going to be Cam. Caden's godmother is going to be Donna and Bailey's is Al. So I fully expect the three of you to behave."

Al and Cam both look at each other and then burst out laughing, saying simultaneously "Us behave?"

Al rolls her eyes looking at me with a grin "If you wanted that you picked the wrong people."

Jax shakes his head and brushes his fingers over Bailey's head "Abel's godfather was a complete no brainer, Ope you've been my brother from the second we met so there was no one else. Caden's godfather is Chibs, but bro you're gonna have to slow down when you talk so that he can understand you." Chibs flips his finger up at Jax and lifts his beer towards me and Caden in a silent salute before Jax continues "Picking a godfather for Bailey was harder than I thought, picking the one brother who would be there for her through everything that may come. It came down to picking the man who was there for my Old Lady from day one." Everyone around the table looks a little confused; the only people who know who we picked are Jax, myself and the man in question.

"So what I eventually decided is that the only man I'd trust looking after my baby girl is the same man who I've trusted for the last 6 months looking after the love of my life. Bailey's godfather is Happy."

Cam's head snaps towards Happy "You didn't say anything?"

Happy shrugs "Not my news to share; besides nothing's gonna happen to either of them."

There's a collective cheer of 'Here here' around the table as Gemma finally gets to her feet, kissing all six of her grandchildren before disappearing into the kitchen for cake.

AN:  
The 6 grandkids are (just in case anyone forgot)

Ellie

Kenny

Abel

Rebecca

Bailey

Caden


	19. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Somewhere around 3 am I give up trying to sleep, Jax and I had put the twins back in their cots upstairs while Gemma had been sorting cake, the cake and coffee consumed in the dining room before the guys all moved to the games room and the girls all stretched out in the living room, chatting quietly. Around 11pm everyone had finally left and we'd headed up to bed.

Sliding into bed beside my husband for the first time in 6 months had been strange, but it seemed that somewhere we'd pissed off Madame Karma when first Bailey woke up at 1215, not settling again until 1245. I'd just climbed back into bed when Abel had woken up, something that hadn't happened for a while, but after changing his diaper he proceeded to play around for almost 40 minutes before finally dropping off back to sleep. Before I'd even put my hand on the blankets to pull them back Caden had woken with a scream demanding to be fed which had led to Bailey wanting to fill her tummy again. Between feeding them both, getting them changed and back into their beds it was almost 230 before I headed back to bed, only to be side-tracked by Doj standing on the landing with his nose towards the stairs.

Taking him outside and watching as he darts around the backyard, peeing twice, and then returning to his bed I end up lying looking at the ceiling for another half an hour.

"If you don't sleep you're going to be ratty tomorrow." Jax's voice is quiet and rough in the silence of our room.

"Ratty?" I reply, biting back a giggle.

"Would you prefer me to say if you don't get some sleep you're going to be a world class bitch, on the level with Satan when he's got PMS and no chocolate?"

The giggle that I'd tried to hold back forces its way through my lips with a gasping bark of laughter that I can't stop.

By the time I stop laughing Jax has turned over onto his side, the dim light from the hallway illuminating his face "That's better."

Cocking my head to the side on my pillow I frown "What?"

"I don't think I've heard you laugh like that since I came back." Jax slides one of his arms under my head, pulling me and my pillow closer to him, nuzzling his nose into the side of my neck he inhales while I stay still.

Eventually breaking the silence my voice is a whisper "Are we going to be okay?"

Jax stiffens and pulls back "What do you mean?"

"Exactly that. Are we going to be okay?"

"I don't get what you mean babe. Okay how?"

I sigh and feel around the bed for his arm, lifting it to my chest and lacing our fingers together, setting them down over my heart "You and I; are we okay. Are we going to be okay with the twins? Are you going to be okay when you go to Belfast? Is Abel going to be okay? Are the twins going to be okay?"

Jax moves again, leaving his fingers tangled in mine but propping himself on his elbow "Abel and the twins are going to be fine. Abel is fine now; the twins showed no signs of any heart problems. Belfast is 2 weeks away, and as far as plans are going we'll only be away a week. As for us being okay with the twins, Ope and Don are okay with theirs. We have them to lean on if we need it. Ma and Clay, Neeta, Al, Cam, Cherry, Lyla, all the guys. Even with six kids around there are still more than enough people to keep an eye on them."

Jax stops for a while, his breath fluffing my hair "As for you and I, well I think we're going to be okay. Babe it's going to take a while for me to get used to being out again. It'll take a while to get used to this total silence at night, the freedom to be able to do whatever I want the quality weed and the free access to booze. The thing I was most looking forward to being free got put on hold, but it'll come." He says with a wicked grin "But it's going to take us both a while to get used to each other again, and the kids, all ABCD of them."

I snicker "Doj is used to you already; he missed you as much as I did."

"I gathered." Jax shakes his head "Abel wouldn't leave my side all night tonight. He cried every time I tried to leave."

"I know." I reply with a sigh "I think he wanted you to come in before, but he's asleep again now. Maybe in the morning you could get him up?"

Jax nods "Okay Sarah. But I do want to know, do you think we'll be okay?"

I shrug "I want us to be, you've only been gone for 6 months so it shouldn't be hard." I look up at him with a giggle "You know I think the hardest thing will be getting used to having a bed partner again. And someone to help with the housework."

Jax shakes his head, leaning down and kissing my forehead "I don't do housework babe. That's what the prospects are for."

"Prospect." I correct with a smirk "Miles got patched in while you were inside. There's only one."

"For now." Jax says with a smile, curling around me again. "Now, try and get some sleep."

The door is closed and the room almost completely black when I wake up again, looking around the room it takes a second to pick what woke me, the absence of light for a start, but also the muffled noises from the baby monitor on the bedside table. It takes a second for me to realise that its Jax talking softly "Should I give Mommy her present when she wakes up? What do you think Bailey, will she like it?" Chuckling softly I can hear him as he moves around the room.

Throwing back the blankets on the bed I stand up slowly, amazed that after a couple of days I'm feeling a lot better, even with the lack of sleep. Going into the bathroom I come back out a few minutes later to find Jax sitting on the edge of the bed "Wasn't expecting you to be awake yet."

I shrug "I was only sleeping about six hours a night when you were away. Mainly due to the weight on my bladder. What's this I heard about a present?"

Jax laughs, flicking his head over to the monitor "Should have known. It's with the twins; they're awake and changed but probably hungry, again."

"You know the last present you brought me was big, shiny and covered in diamonds."

Jax laughs again, following me "This one isn't. It's black and custom made though; I will confess that D ordered it for me when I asked her."

My eyebrows furrow as I open the door, completely missing everything apart from the twins who are lying in their cribs, Caden starting to grizzle slightly. "Food for them first, then present."

Jax points to the rocking chair waiting till I'm set up with the pillow across my lap before bringing first Caden then Bailey to me, watching my movements as I lift my shirt and adjust myself, and them till all three of us are comfortable and the twins are attached to my breasts properly. "What?"

Jax smirks "Never thought I'd be jealous of my own children." Reaching back he pulls a piece of black material from the back of his chair, holding it in front of him "This is your present, but you're not gonna be able to use it for a while."

"Why?" I ask, trying to work out what it is, but the tiny folded square doesn't resemble anything I can figure out.

"Cause D got it in pre-pregnancy size." Unfolding it reveals it to be a t-shirt and when he turns it around I chuckle.

"The tattoo not enough?" The black shirt is covered from neck to waist with bright white writing saying 'Property of Jax Teller'.

Jax shrugs one shoulder "A shirt with writing this big is easy to read from across the lot. The tattoo ya gotta be too close to read properly."

Shaking my head at him I smile "Baby I don't need a t-shirt to tell me I belong to you, I don't need a tattoo to tell me I belong to you." Lifting my hand I wiggle my ring finger at him "I don't need rings on my finger to tell me I belong to you. I belong to you because I love you, I've always loved you."

Jax grins "I know you really don't have to wear it if you don't. I'll leave it in my dorm room at TM."

"Have you been there since the renovations were finished?"

Jax shakes his head "Nah, but we've got church today and then dinner at Ma's. I'll check out how girly you've made my room when we're there."

"We're?" I question, my plans for the day had involved the sofa in the living room and the recorded episodes of two programs I'd been watching, or my bed and viewing the inside of my eyelids. 

Jax nods "Yeah we're." Leaving no argument in his tone I nod once and turn my attention back to the hungry new-borns.


	20. Chapter 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

By the time we have all three kids fed, changed and dressed with everything in the car that we need for them it's almost 10, the breaks we'd taken to eat breakfast and feed the dog had added less time than it took to dress Abel, even when he had screamed and failed his legs around as I tried to dress him, only quieting when Jax stepped through the door and gently took the shorts out of my hands.

The little traitor had then lain quietly and perfectly still while Jax slid his shorts up his legs and then the black Steelers t-shirt over his neck. Picking up the now fully dressed almost toddler he smirks at me "It's all about being boss."

I snort and return to the twin's room, quietly checking on them before heading downstairs "Yeah, you believe that baby."

Jax stops me before I can even turn the oven on "What are you doing?"

Looking over my shoulder at him I frown "Umm, making breakfast."

"Toast is fine. Cereal is even better." He says, belting Abel into his high chair "What does he get for breakfast?"

There's silence for a couple of seconds till he turns around and sees me standing by the stove with my arms folded, tapping my foot on the floor. Lifting an eyebrow he looks completely confused "What?"

Sighing I lean back against the bench with my arms still crossed in front of me "Abel likes to have scrambled eggs for breakfast, he gets it twice a week. What I was going to do was make enough for all of us to have some. There's some ham, tomatoes and cheese in the fridge if you'd like to get them for me." Turning back to the stove I ignore him as I wander around the kitchen getting breakfast back, smiling to myself when the requested things land on the bench beside the bowl of eggs.

Between Donna and I we spend the time that the guys are in church watching over the kids and rearranging the nursery at the end of the hall of the clubhouse, squeezing in the second cot that Gemma had brought and made Clay assemble, the room is now completely crammed full of furniture, bunks jammed in one corner for Ellie and Kenny then four cots and three dressing tables had left no room for the 2 rocking chairs, till one of the dressing tables had been rendered unneeded and moved back into the storage unit that I'd never quite gotten rid of, but that Gemma had taken over payments on after she half-filled it with spare materials and old stuff from the clubhouse during it's remodel.

Hearing a shuffling from the doorway Donna and I both look over as the new prospect sticks his head through the door "They're done with their meeting."

I nod but Donna just sits there looking blankly at him till he backs away with a flush covering his cheeks. Turning to me when the noise of his retreat is no long audible she giggles "Ope was right, it's fun messing with them."

Shaking my head she shrugs unapologetically "Guess that's our cue."

Walking down the hall I slide my arm through her elbow "Did you get the order for dinner tonight?"

"No." She replies, looking over at me "Mary's in town for the night to meet her newest grandchild, finally."

Glancing over at her I wait while we pass another couple of doors before she eventually huffs out a breath "I just wish she'd make up her mind. She either wants to be a part of the kid's life or she doesn't. Ellie and Kenny are getting confused and poor Opie's getting whiplash from how fast she changes her mind."

"So tell her."

Donna looks over at me with a smile "We are. Ope said he's had enough of me being on edge when his mother is in town. And when it comes down to it the kids aren't going to miss out by not having her around. They've got a big enough family that one more, or less, isn't going to be a big deal." She starts chuckling as we come into the main room, the guys all at the bar already "Ellie called Neeta 'Nanta' the other day. She was trying to say nana and Neeta at the same time, so Neeta now has a new name. Kenny's already picked up on it."

Finally registering the stiffness of the backs lined up against the bar before Jax even turns around I know that something has gone wrong and I sigh, sitting down at one of the tables and resting my arms on the table "So who's gonna tell me what happened and why you all look so pissed?"

Jax spins around and sighs "We look pissed cause we are. And I'm the person you're gonna take it out on."

"What am I taking out on you?" I ask, noting out of the corner of my eye that Donna has been led away by Opie who's whispering quietly to her, her back getting straighter and straighter the further away they get.

"Cause I need you to go see Oswald today and sort a plane for us for two days from now."

"Why?" I ask quietly, narrowing my eyes as everyone else wearing a kutte vanishes from sight to Jax's muttered 'chickens'.

"Cause we have to be in Belfast in 72 hours, Kings orders."

I start a litany of what I'd like to do to the kings under my breath; Jax's chuckling not interrupting my tirade till I mention something about hot tar, feathers and hungry crocodiles. Looking up at him I frown "When do they move their claws into the other charters? When does the responsibility for anything move from you? When does SAMCRO get to relax a bit from the Kings attention?"

"The short answer to that babe is never. SAMCRO is always going to be the Kings first point of contact stateside." Jax pauses in thought for a few minutes, looking around the now empty room "The issue is that a member of the First 9 betrayed the whole club babe. SAMCRO is the mother charter, we have to go and deal or it seems like we're letting the IRA deal with what should be internal issues."

My annoyance turns to concern, the only member of the First 9 that's Belfast based is McGee, a man that Jax once told me as was much an uncle to him as Jury out in Nevada is. "I thought it was Trinity's mom that was the source?"

Jax sighs, rubbing his hands over his face "That's what the Kings were led to believe. We're not going to find out anything more till we get there. Can you contact Oswald and sort that plane?"

I bite the side of my tongue at the thought of him leaving again so soon but nod "I'll go out and see him today, the twins are asleep and should be for the next couple of hours at least but I'll take my phone."

Jax shakes his head "I'll come with you."

I look over at him in silent thought for a few seconds till he looks up at me and lifts his eyebrow "You know I can't go on the bike at the moment don't you?"

Jax laughs, standing up and pulling me to my feet "I know babe. We'll take your cage."

The drive to Elliot's farm is almost entirely silent, from the second we pulled out of TM Jax's fingers have been linked with mine, it's not till we pull to a stop outside the house that he finally opens his mouth "You know the last time I was here you were standing by that door and I was sure my heart was never going to beat again."

I squeeze his hand tightly "Not happening again, but we have an audience."

Jax turns and looks at the house, spotting the face pressed to the upstairs window within a second, a smile crossing his face "That's Oswald's daughter?"

I nod "Tristian. I wonder if she and Trinity would get along. They're about the same age."

Jax shrugs one shoulder as he pushes open the door "No clue babe. Let's go see if her father is home."

Elliot opens the door before I can even knock, turning his very unimpressed looking eyes to the man at my side, then looking over at me and smiling "What can I do for you Sarah?"


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Super super super short. Sorry!

Elliot's face is beyond stunned when I finish my request "You want me to what?" Is all he's managed to get out.

Sighing and squeeze Jax's fingers again I explain for the third time "I _need_ you to arrange that construction equipment to be leaving the States in two days, the plane then _needs_ to stay in Belfast for eight days, maybe more, I'll let you know. The plane then _needs_ to return to California. I also _need _the flight times of departure and landing as soon as you have them."

Elliot leans back into his seat "Do I get any more information about why I'm rearranging this?"

I shake my head "In the interest of plausible deniability no you don't. All you need to know is dates. Leaving California on May 21st, coming back May 29th."

Elliot looks at me, without saying a word, for several minutes. His gaze not wavering at all, until he finally flicks his eyes to Jax "This has something to do with you I'm guessing?"

Jax lifts his hands and sets them on the desk, leaning forwards so he doesn't have to speak very loudly "It does. I'm not going to tell you more than you need to know, like Sarah pointed out, the less you know the less shit you get in if something goes wrong."

"So how much extra weight am I going to have to add to the manifest?" Elliot asks, dragging a sheet of paper towards himself.

Jax leans back, relaxation settling over him slowly "I don't know."

I chuckle "Go with about 2 thousand pounds Eli." Glancing over at Jax I shrug "Covers guys, gear, and gives a huge buffer."

Elliot nods "That much is easy to account for. No bikes?"

Jax shakes his head "No, no bikes, no cars. And how is that easy to account for?"

Elliot laughs, a genuine smile crossing his face "There are five pieces of machinery going on this trip. The lightest one weighs almost 20 thousand pounds. I give at least a 2 thousand pound over exaggeration on each part of the shipment." He gets to his feet "If that's all, Sarah I'll contact you with the time of departure tomorrow."

I nod, opening the door "Thank you."

He shrugs as we move towards the car where it's out the front of his house, waving his arm in the air the gesture encompasses his property from one side to the other "You saved all of this, I figure I owe you a few no questions asked favours."

Jax all but drags me to the car, shoving me in the passenger's seat, it's not till we're back on the road that he opens his mouth "I'm done being polite for the day. I just got out, just got my wife back. While I would have loved to have spent the last few days in our bedroom with it as a no-clothes zone I couldn't cause of doctors' orders. You gave birth the day I came home, making it even more of a can't do. I'm not sharing you more than I have to."

My cheeks colour, knowing what he's talking about and in the silence of the car I decide now is as good a time as any to address it "Baby, you know I would have loved nothing more than to have been able to jump back into bed with you, but the fact is we couldn't. I'm sorry about that, you've got another 5 weeks or so before Peg will even consider clearing me for any sexual activities and now you're travelling to another country." I bite my lip, to stop a sentence from coming out before continuing "I guess we'll just have to make it up for it after those 5 weeks."

Jax looks over at me through confused eyes before chuckling "I hope you're not planning on telling me I can use the 'road pussy' clause cause you know that ain't fucken happening."

I roll my eyes "Don't make promises you can't keep."

Jax snorts, grabbing my hand "I'm not."


	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

The three days between our odd request to Elliot and their departure passes quicker than the blink of an eye. One second we're leaving Elliot's farm, then the next I'm standing in the lot of TM in the pre-dawn hours watching as Clay, Piney, Tig, Happy, Jax, Opie and Chibs load their packs in the back of the van.

Cam had refused to come to the lot to say goodbye, insisting that it was much easier on her saying goodbye from their house where she didn't have the additions of other emotional old ladies. Jax's goodbye's with the kids had happened the previous night before they'd gone to sleep, the twins not understanding anything at all and Abel only understanding that Daddy gave him longer than normal hugs before bed.

Donna had told me that her twins had refused to go to their own bed, knowing that Ope was going away for a week they'd crawled into the middle of their bed and refused to leave. Rebecca hadn't noticed a difference, just like Caden and Bailey; her being so young was a distinct advantage.

Jax strolls over once the packs are all in the van, wrapping his arms over my shoulders "We're all good to go now. The plane's due to take off in an hour."

I nod, nuzzling into his chest "I know baby."

Wrapped in the circle of his arms I refuse to move till Clay calls that they're leaving when an unexpected sob erupts through my lips. Jax looks down at me "Don't cry, I'll be back before you know it."

I sniff once nodding against his chest "I know, but I just got you back."

Jax chuckles, leaning down and kissing my forehead "I'll ring you every night, I promise."

I shake my head, kissing his chest through his t-shirt "Don't make promises you can't keep, you never know when you're going to get side-tracked and forget."

Jax kisses my nose grinning at me "I could never forget you."

I roll my eyes upwards, shaking my head "Not intentionally. But we're being given the evils by a bunch of people who want to leave. So kiss me and go so you can come back."

Pressing his lips to mine he wraps his arms around my waist, ignoring the sounds of movement from behind us, voices calling across the lot, the gates being opened, the sound of the van starting and then loud footsteps across the concrete.

"Jax if we don't go now the plane will leave without us." Opie's voice is a few feet behind us, Jax sighs, pulling away a fraction of an inch and nodding.

"Ok bro, I'm ready." Pressing another kiss to my lips he steps away, turning at he reaches the van "Love you babe."

"Love you too baby."

Gemma steps in front of me before I can watch the van door's close behind him but it's enough when I hear the van pull away for the tears that were hovering in my eyes to fall. Wrapping her arms around my shoulders she leads me into the clubhouse "It's okay sweetheart, they'll be back before you know it." I resist the urge to snap at her, rolling my eyes instead she pushes the door open "And besides," she continues "I'm sure that you'll be kept busy while he's away."

I shrug one shoulder "Yeah I will be, between the kids and the stores I know I will be."

Donna reappears at my side, holding my coffee cup in one hand, handing me the cup she chuckles as Gemma disappears. "I bypassed the tea this morning. I know Peg said that you can have coffee again so here." 

Taking the cup from her the smell that reaches my nose makes me smile through the tears still wavering in my eyes "Thanks D."

Putting her arm around my shoulder she leads me back towards the clubhouse "Do you want to go back to bed for a while?"

I snort out a laugh "Yeah, cause five minutes from now when the kids wake up I'll be so much more rested."

Donna giggles as we walk through the clubhouse, the unconscious bodies over the floor having not moved at all since we left to say our goodbyes. Opening the door to the kids room Donna chuckles "They're already awake. All of them."

Ellie and Kenny are already out of their beds sitting on the floor at the end of the bunks with some toys between them. Abel's on his feet holding onto the side of the crib with one hand, his other stretching out to the bottle he can see on the dressing table and all three infants are making a variety of noises. Rebecca is crying Caden is sniffling in a pre-cry vocal warmup and Bailey is a stage past her brother, the squeaking noises building to a cry.

"Ellie, can you pass Abel his bottle. Kenny can you grab that pillow and pass it to Aunty S." Donna says as she drops the side of Rebecca's crib, changing her nappy while I get situated on the chair. Lifting the side of the crib again she turns and picks up Bailey, passing her to me then Caden following quickly before she picks up Rebecca and sits in the other chair.

Cocking my head to the side and looking at her quietly it takes a few minutes in the quiet room before she notices "What?"

"I was thinking that you should come stay with me till the guys get back. That way Neeta is around every day." I make sure to speak quietly, so that neither of her twins hears me, my voice only a whisper in the room.

She looks down at Rebecca, running a finger over her cheek with a smile "I'm not sure S. Three infants, one toddler and two rascals in one house?"

I nod "Yep sounds perfect."

"You're insane but I'll do it." Donna replies, her eyes glazing over "Baking. Yum."

I chuckle as Caden pulls away from his breakfast and grizzles again "You know I haven't actually been near my kitchen to cook since before Jax came home. We've been living on all those meals I pre-made and froze that you laughed at me about."

Donna shrugs "Well it was weird. You make a month's worth of meals in one weekend."

Poking my tongue out at her she pokes me in the arm with her fingertip "Think your piglets are done Mom."

Looking down I notice that not only has Caden moved his head away so has Bailey. Carefully arranging myself so I can pick them both up I stand up, letting the pillow drop to the floor at my feet before crossing the room to the crib where the side of Caden's is still down. Changing them both they're almost asleep before they're back in their beds again. Turning around to look at Donna I bite back a giggle, Rebecca has fallen asleep attached to her and Donna's starting to doze off.

Shaking my head at the insanity of my life I carefully lift Rebecca out of Donna's relaxing arms, putting her back in her crib then turning to the older twins "Come on, let's leave them to their naps. It's hard work growing." Leaning down between the two I whisper "And we know that your Mommy needs to get taller."

Both of them start giggling as we leave the room, closing the door behind us.


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

It's almost 24 hours before I hear anything from Jax, my cell phone ringing somewhere around 3 am the day after they left. His voice sounds beyond exhausted and he barely manages to tell me that they've landed and are at the Belfast clubhouse before he trails off "Sorry haven't slept yet. And we're sitting down with the Kings at 4pm, local time. Which is in about 6 hours."

"Go get some sleep then baby. Do you want me to ring you in about 4 hours to make sure you're awake? I'll be up with the twins by then. Oh, and by the way D and her kids are staying here while you're gone."

"Okay about D. Yes, please ring me in 4 hours. I'd rather have you waking me then Clay." Jax trails off again, his breathing steadying.

"Jax, wake up and hang up the phone. I love you; I'll wake you at 7, my time."

Jax sucks in a startled breath, his voice more than ¾ asleep when he agrees, the muttered 'love you and kids' coming a second before the disconnected tone.

Four hours later I ring Jax back, having slept another hour, showered, dressed and cooked breakfast for all the current residents of our house I'm a lot more awake this time, Jax still sounds tired, but at least this conversation manages to have coherent sentences.

"Baby, it's time to wake up. You've gotta meet the Kings in 2 hours and I know you'll need to have a shower, and lots of coffee before then."

"I'm up." There's the sound of blankets moving, and a low groan then nothing.

"Jax. Wake up." I bite my lip to not laugh at the grumbly sleepy noises he's making.

"I'm awake." His breathing evens out again, faster than I would have expected.

"Jackson Teller. Sit up right now. You need to have a shower, get dressed and have some coffee before your meeting with the Irish Kings, which is in 90 minutes."

"Okay, okay, I'm up." Jax sounds sleepy, but more awake "I'm even out of bed."

The sounds of bedsprings moving and then what sounds a floorboard creaking "I am now across the room from the bed."

I give up on holding back my laugh, a little giggle escaping "That's good baby. I'm sure that someone there is making coffee for you. And at least you didn't have Uncle Clay waking you."

There's a second of silence before he laughs "Sounds like Chibs just got a wakeup call involving a blow up doll. Did D wake Ope?"

"Not sure. She's upstairs at the moment with her monsters so she might have."

"Nope she didn't. I just heard Clay in there with him; he's in the next room from me so my wakeup should be next. Hang on." I hear the floorboard creak again and then the door opens "I'm awake already. No painful wake up for me thanks."

He starts laughing as the door clicks closed again "I think I disappointed him, he had a bucket of water in his hand."

"I'm going to blame that on sleep deprivation. If I know Uncle Clay he probably hasn't slept at all yet. Make sure you eat something, and ring me later." I tell him, moving back into the kitchen with the mail I'd been collecting.

"Will do. Love you. Take care of yourself, and the kids."

"Love you too baby." We disconnect the call, dropping my phone onto the table I leave it there with the mail while I collect my laptop from the lounge.

The morning passes faster than I would have thought, even with the amount of time I spend sitting in the nursery thinking of Jax and wondering how he's doing, five thousand miles away.

All the kids are asleep and I'm back in the kitchen with D just before 2 when her cell phone rings. She picks it up wandering outside, whispering "Hey Ope."

Reopening my laptop I jam my earbuds in my ears, starting my 'Rock chick' playlist and start updating the finances from the two stores, paying the bills for the house and the stores and checking my email while Lizzie Hale sings in my ears.

"Hey S. I was thinking we could go into online shopping."

Spinning on my chair I yank the earbuds out as my hand flies to my chest "Fuck Ly. You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry." She says, sitting down and running a hand through her hair "I thought you heard the door."

I shake my head, dropping the cord on the table "Didn't hear a thing, earbuds are wonderful things. Apart from when people scare the life out of you. Anyway. Online shopping; why, aren't you busy enough?"

Lyla chuckles "Yeah I am, but we can always be busier."

Cocking my head to the side I think about it for a few minutes, Lyla leaving me to my thoughts as she gets up and putters around my kitchen making a fresh pot of coffee (one of the first things I forced her to learn).

"If we get any busier then I'm going to need more full time employees. Cam and Al are already doing part time for me and part time for Lu. You're working full time for me, so is Cherry. The only other person I could employ that I trust is D." I shake my head once "At the moment I think we'll leave it as it is. Maybe in future if things slow down we can look at it."

Lyla pouts for a second, bringing the coffee to the table "Okay then."

Frowning it takes a second before I look at the clock on the wall "Why are you here now? Shouldn't you be at work?"

Lyla shakes her head "We're actually completely out of stock. That's what I wanted to tell you. We're going to have to increase our orders, or keep more in storage. Even with the orders we're doing twice a month we're running out of clothes. There's an order on the way, but it's not due for another three days."

I snort "And you wanted to get into online shopping when we can't even keep one store stocked."

Lyla shrugs "Yeah well. What are we going to do?"

Picking up my coffee I close my hands around it "What I want to know is; why are we so busy. Charming is tiny. There's no way that everything we're buying and selling is staying in Charming."

Lyla laughs "Actually, I had a conversation today about that with one of our customers. The word's spread in Lodi, Stockton, Modesto and pretty much every other place between here and the California state lines that we're it for alternate clothes and shoes unless you want to buy online and risk having to send back things that don't fit."

I cock my head to the side "So why the question about going into online stuff? You don't really want to."

Lyla shakes her head "No I don't, I like being able to guide the customers into things that they wouldn't normally try and find that they love them, what we need to do though is look at pulling out that wall and opening the whole top floor."

I hide my smile at the emotion that creeps into her voice and take a mouthful of my coffee "You bring me a mock-up of the floorplan, showing how it'll work and I'll talk to Elliot."

AN: I do actually have a 'Rock Chick' playlist, contains Halestorm, The Pretty Reckless, Evanescence, 2 New Zealand bands (Devilskin and Tadpole), a few Miley Cyrus songs and some Cranberries.


	24. Chapter 24

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I don't hear anything from Jax for the rest of the day, having seen Donna while she spent almost 40 minutes on the phone with Ope I'm more than a little annoyed, but with the six children, one dog and one best friend in my house I don't have the time to do more than frown about it.

Donna finally mentions my obvious agitation when half way through cleaning the kitchen after I give up, dropping the bottles into the sink with a huff.

"You okay?"

I shake my head furiously "Nope."

"Wanna talk about it?" 

"Nope." I snap "What I want is a glass of wine. Or my husband here, not on the other side of the planet."

Donna gets to her feet silently, leaving the room but retuning a couple of minutes later with two wine glasses. Going to the fridge I listen to her moving around until she sits back in front of me "It's sparkling grape juice, but it's close enough."

I snort and shake my head "It's not. Nowhere near it."

Donna sighs and reaches across the table "I know it's not. What's up? Tell me."

I lower my head to the table with a thunk "I just can't get over it."

"What?"

"Everything." I spit out, knowing that my anger isn't aimed at her "I'm not angry at you but you're here, you'll listen and let me vent."

Donna nods "Course I will S. Vent away, you blew up at Hap but that was only part of what you've been holding in."

I file that away to bring up at a later date before opening my mouth and letting a torrent of words out "Why the fuck did he punch some asshole? Why didn't he look around before being a Neanderthal and acting like a brainless twat? Why didn't he listen to me when I called his name? Why did he have to be given six months inside? Why did it happen while I was pregnant? He should have been here, for every day of it. All the moaning and bitching and rearranging and annoying I did should have been at him, not at you and Hap and Cam, Al, Gemma, Lyla, Cherry, Ope, Clay. None of you should have had to deal with me like that. Why did he leave so fast after getting out?" I bite back a sob "Why does it feel like he wanted to leave. Doesn't he love me anymore? Did his time in jail make him realise he didn't feel that way, that he doesn't want me but he doesn't know how to say it?"

Donna shrugs "I don't know S. I can't answer any of that. You need to talk to Jax."

I sigh, leaning my head into my hands "I can't. I don't know how."

Donna chuckles "Then maybe I should just record our conversation so you can play it back for him."

I snort "He'd never watch it. He's never here."

Donna frowns "Be fair on him S. He's just gotten out of jail; he's got to catch up with all the shit that's happening with the club, Belfast and the Kings, the kids, you, your businesses. It's not gonna happen in a heartbeat."

I look up at her and blink slowly "You know you just put it in the right order. The club first, then all the stuff with Belfast and the Kings. Then the kids and I come last." Sitting in silence for a few seconds while my brain filters through that idea "I'm an afterthought. Will I always be one or will there actually be a time when I get moved up in his priority list."

Donna's frown deepens and she shakes her head "You surprise me, you really do."

"Why?"

Leaning back into her chair she folds her hands over her stomach and smiles at me softly "You're so ready to believe the worst of him. It's like you're trying to dismiss your relationship while he's not here to defend himself or fight for you." Donna pauses for a minute, her fingers twisting the stem of the glass "You once told me that everything Opie does is for me and the kids and the club, in that order. Why are you so quick to dismiss what he's doing as not for the same reasons?"

I wave my hand around "Because he's not here. I am, I'm here with his three kids, his house, his businesses, his mother, his club, his family and he's fucken not!" By the end of the sentence my hands are buried in my hair, tugging the strands "I get that he was just in jail and couldn't be here, I get it D, I do. By why did he have a split second home before something else came up that meant he had to go, is he going to get back from Belfast and something _else_ happens that means he leaves me again."

Donna shrugs wordlessly and I get to my feet "If I'm going to be a single mother I'd prefer to know now so I can prepare myself for it. I'm not going to make excuses to my children about why their father is never around."

Donna's head shoots up rapidly "You'd leave?"

I walk towards the door of the kitchen shaking my head "I'm not going anywhere D. Jax is the one making me the single mother here."

Donna waits till I'm almost at the stairs before speaking from the kitchen "That's not fair on him Sarah and you know it."

"It's not fair, but it's true." I whisper, starting up the stairs.

Reaching the nursery I slip through the door and sit on the rocking chair in the corner, looking out the window and down the drive letting my thoughts swirl around in my brain.

I'm not sure how much later it is when there's a soft knocking on the door, all I know is in the time in between I've changed and fed both the kids and they're sleeping again, the mobile hanging over Caden's crib still chiming as the door swings open.

Donna sticks her head through the door with a half-smile on her face "Not sure if you wanted to see me at the moment but I have something for you."

My eyebrows pull together and she steps through the door, one hand behind her back walking closer towards me "Well actually I have two things for you. The first is a reprimand."

I feel my frown deepen as I try and work out what I've done now, other than what had occurred downstairs.

She looks at me with a blank expression that concerns me till she opens her mouth "If you're going to get shitty with Jax for not calling you, the first thing you need to do is make sure your phone isn't on _silent_." She hands me my phone, which she'd been holding behind her back "That's the second thing. And on that note, Jax rang my phone to make sure you were okay when you didn't answer _any_ of the calls he made, or the texts he sent you."

Pushing my phone into my hand she spins on her heel. "He's waiting for you to ring him."


	25. Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile. Another short one. Thank you NatalieLynn for the idea that you inspired of the road I'm taking.

The first thing I do with my phone in my hand is turn the sound is on, then checking my missed calls and messages my eyes widen with the amount of them, it looks like for the last four hours Jax has been texting me every 15 minutes and calling my phone every 20.

The last message in the stream of them says '_I'm calling Donna unless you answer in the next 5 minutes.'_

Even as I'm looking at the phone and steeling myself for dealing with a pissed of husband my phone blinks in my hand as another text arrives '_I gather you're pissed at me seeing I still haven't heard from you. Not sure what I've done this time. Please at least let me know you're alright.'_

Tapping two of the buttons on my phone I wait while the international call connects, Jax unable to hide the relief in his voice "Thank fuck. I thought something happened to you, but Don said you were fine."

I sigh "I'm not fine, she's lying."

"What's wrong?" Jax's voice is muffled as I hear the sounds of him moving around, the background noise going from the sound of voices to the sound of nothing.

"I'm angry at you."

"What have I done this time?" Jax asks, with a badly concealed sigh.

"You haven't done anything this time, I'm still angry at you for the other shit." While it's fresh in my mind from talking with D I figure it's easy to talk to him now, when he can't distract me with a smirk or by touching me.

"What other shit?"

"Shall I try and get it in order?" I ask sarcastically "Let's start with you not listening to me calling your name the day you got arrested, which led to said arrest and then the six months you spent in jail, while I was pregnant with _your_ children. You were home for all of a blink and a heartbeat and you're gone again, this time on the other side of the world. You missed all the pregnancy hormones and then flew five thousand miles away from me within 6 days of coming home. D and I were talking earlier and she organised your priorities since you got home. Wanna know the order?" I ignore the sound he makes and continue, talking over his half spoken word "She put them in the order of the Club, Belfast and the Kings, then the kids, and then me. The only thing in our life that came behind me was the businesses. I feel like you don't give a shit if I'm here or not." I sigh, my voice fading off "If during the time you were in Stockton you realised you don't love me I wish you'd just tell me."

Jax is completely silent for a split second before his voice comes down the line, his words like acid dripping from his mouth "If you think I don't love you, that everything I do isn't for you and our children then you're insane. If you think I'm _enjoying _being half a world away from you then you didn't listen to a word I said the other day. _Everything_ I do is for you and our children first. The Club comes behind you." Jax sighs and I can hear the sound of him running his hand over his face "I can't apologise enough for being here and not there." There's another length of silence before he speaks again, his voice a soft whisper "The only thing I want right now is for you to get on a plane and come here. I need you at my side."

I shake my head, my brain still angry with him for reasons I suddenly realise are completely unfounded "I can't."

"Why? I don't ask you for much, I'm asking you for this. Please come to Belfast." Jax's voice picks up a pleading tone at the end, something in that single sentence breaks my composure and before I know it there's tears running down my cheeks.

"I can't. I have three children, including two babies that are less than a week old. Do you really think travelling internationally with them would be a good idea, their immune systems wouldn't cope with the influx of bugs at an airport or on a plane."

Jax sighs "You could use Derek's plane, but you're right. Can you do something for me though?"

"What?" I ask quietly, waiting for him to ask me something impossible.

"When you see Peg, tell her about your mood swings. I know she said that it was normal, but you're literally going from sunshine and roses to storm clouds and concrete shoes in one sentence."

I roll my eyes "Probably has something to do with your kids only sleeping about 2 hours each a piece before they're awake. Peg's coming out tomorrow to check all three kids so I'll talk to her then if it makes you happy Your Highness."

Jax laughs "It does. But I better go get some sleep, but Babe, I love you."

I smile through the watery feeling in my eyes "I know. I may be angry at you at times but I love you too. Nothing's going to change that."

"Good. Night."

Hanging up the call I open my text messages, add two recipients and then compose a text message, sending it off as a cry emerges from the baby monitor.


	26. Chapter 26

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Once the kids are both fed and asleep again I head back to the bedroom. Even before I reach the side of the bed I can see the light on the top of my phone flashing. I'm not at all surprised that the top one is an affirmative from Cam, while the second one from Peg contains a list of things that would be needed and the further down the list I read the more depressed I get.

Dialling Cam's number I wait till she answers with a cherry "Hey, when do we leave."

I sigh "We can't go. Well, I can't go, not with Caden and Bailey."

"Why?"

"I'd need their birth certificates first, and we know they'll take at least another couple of weeks, then they'd need passports which could be done within a couple of days but I can't get them till I have the birth certs. But you guys should go. Talk to D about if she's got Rebecca's birth certificate yet." I'm disappointed about not being able to go but if my idea can still work then at least most of the Sons would be happy.

"I talked to daddy and he did say that we could use the plane but if it's only for me to go then it's not worth it. If you and D were coming then it would be worth the flight, and the fuel." Cam says with a chuckle "I talked to Hap this morning and he said they're basically up in the morning, spending all day chasing after smoke and mirrors trying to find out where the information leak was."

I lower my voice to an almost whisper "You are on a burner aren't you?"

Cam laughs "You rang me chickie. On the number that your husbands mother insisted I use for anything even slightly related to Hap, or the club."

I snort, nodding to myself "Course I did. But talk to D about if she wants to go."

Cam makes a sort of laughing exhalation "I already did. She said she wasn't going if you couldn't, suffering together makes it easier she said."

I chuckle "Sounds like her. When did you talk to her?"

"We hung up about two minutes before you rang me."

I smile silently, glad that Cam and Al have both managed to form friendships with Donna, going through as much as I've been through with all of them, individually and all together means that I wouldn't be able to deal with it if I'd had to pick one over the other.

Cam laughs again, her voice taking on a tone of repetitive humour "Are you listening?"

"Huh, sorry what?"

"I said I know you're sad and angry that we couldn't go, but like D said, I'm not willing to go without you, and Juice didn't go so Al wouldn't want to go, and what would be the point in half of us going?" She giggles "D suggested that when the twins are older and you're not a walking milk bottle we should make a trip to San Francisco for the weekend, maybe we could time it for that Chocolate and Beer festival you're always talking about."

"That's in November, the twins will be 6 months old by then so that might work." I burst into laughter and it takes me awhile to be able to speak again "Can you imagine Jax being left alone with three kids to look after."

Cam catches my laughter and it takes a few minutes before we can regain normal speech. "I guess it'll be the same for Opie though. Between the two of them looking after six children." Cam says with a hiccup of laughter in the middle of her sentence "I think you and D would come back to find three kids with shaved heads wearing clothes made of old sheets, can't picture either of them being ones for washing a child's hair."

I nod, still giggling slightly "That's why we've got Neeta and Gemma. Between the two of them the kids would be fed, bathed and dressed properly the whole time."

Cam says goodbye not long after that and when I turn to drop the phone on my bedside table I raise my eyebrows at Donna "You know you could have come say on the bed instead of hovering in the doorway."

Donna shrugs, moving to the end of the bed and sitting on the corner "I know. So, where are we going in November?" 

"San Francisco. Every year they do a Chocolate and Beer festival there, it's only a half-day thing but I thought, well actually Cam thought, that seeing we can't go to Belfast we could do that."

Donna nods "Sounds like a plan. Are you going to ring Jax and let him know we tried, but we can't come?"

I shake my head "Not right now, I'll tell him when I talk to him tomorrow." I bite my lip in thought while looking at her "Do you think he's used the 'what happens on the road stays on the road' thing yet? He hasn't gotten pussy in over 6 months."

Donna surprises me by leaning forward and slapping my leg, the sound of her palm hitting my calf loud in the otherwise silent room "Stop it." She shakes her head and pats my leg a couple of times "You know Jax wouldn't do that. Stop doubting him."

I shake my head furiously "Not doubting him at all. It's facts."

Donna mutters something under her breath, getting to her feet with a sigh "He's not going to touch anyone that's not named Sarah Teller, who wears his ink and his rings, gave birth to his kids and lives in his house."

I lift an eyebrow and she shrugs "He loves you and you need to stop doubting he'll be faithful."

I point to the bed again and wait while she sits back down "But he was never faithful to Wendy, or Tara by his own admission. Why am I different?"

Donna laughs, her shoulders shaking "Because he loves you. Always has, always will." Donna locks her eyes on mine, blinking a few times before setting her palm on the bed "No amount of weed or booze is going to make him dip his dick into someone else's pussy. That's crude, I know, but I'm hoping that will get it into your thick skull for once and for all. That man loves you, he isn't going to risk what he has with you for some random bit on the side."

"I know that." I reply with a sigh, leaning back against my pillow "I know he loves me, I _know_ he wouldn't do anything but the thing is he's been without any outlet for over 6 months, I'm ready if he 'slips' sometime. What I know and what my brain accepts seems to be two different things right now."

Donna stands up again, squeezing my leg "He's there with your Uncle Clay, Piney, Tig, Happy and Ope. Out of that list the only people that wouldn't punch him in the face before he could even so much as smile at a gash would be Tig."

I snicker and nod "I know." Waiting till she's at the door I open my mouth again "Thank you D. For listening to my random rambling."

"Always will S. You're my sister, but sometimes the shit that comes out of your mouth is fucken nuts. See you in the morning."


	27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

After my eye opening conversation with Peg it's with a new light that I examine my behaviour over the past week, coming to a stunning realisation that I'd been beyond bitchy to the man who loved me, the man who'd done nothing wrong, apart from act like the man I always knew he was.

When Jax rings me just after 1 I think he's surprised when the first words out of my mouth are an apology.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, and all of last week." I say, with a frown at the window.

"What?" Jax sounds confused, but there's something in his tone that sounds light as well "Why are you apologising, what happened?"

I giggle and shake my head, even though he can't see me "I saw Peg today and we talked about how the kids have been. She came to a realisation that helped shed a new light on the last week."

"What's that?" Jax asks softly "And you sound happier."

"I am, but I'm not in the same sentence." I look down at my nails and ponder my thoughts for a second "Peg realised that the twins weren't getting enough nutrition from me, apparently I don't have enough milk to feed them both exclusively so they're now on a combination of breast and formula. I know you don't really care about that though."

Jax snorts "Babe, everything that has to do with our kids and you I care about."

I purse my lips, rolling my eyes towards the ceiling for a second "I feel like a half-failure cause I can't feed both the kids at the same time, but then I realised that some mothers can't feed their kids at all so I should take happiness from that. Peg's restricting me to one each meal time."

"How's that gonna work?" For his credit Jax does sound genuinely interested "Do you have breakfast with Bailey, lunch with Caden, dinner with Bailey and then supper with Caden?"

I giggle at the thought of meal dates "Kinda. I've got to alternate which one I feed. Caden eats more than Bailey so he gets first shot in the morning, but then they alternate for the rest of the day. D and I went out and brought some newborn bottles and a formula that Peg told us to get that's suitable for newborns and it seems like Bailey will be fine with the alternating. Caden's not so sure."

Jax laughs "That's my son."

"What, chasing boobs while still in diapers?" I ask with a remaining giggle.

"Yep. Didn't you know, Tellers are notorious for being tit men."

"But to get back to the point at hand." I continue with a shake of my head "Peg said that the reason they've barely been getting any sleep is cause they're always hungry to a certain extent. They've both had their first bottle and seem to be happier already, they're certainly sleeping more solidly. She also suggested expressing so that they're both drinking from bottles all the time, but I haven't decided on that yet. I thought I'd give them a couple of days to get used to formula before completely changing their habits."

"And if they're sleeping more solidly it means you'll get more than 5 minutes sleep at a time?" Jax asks, the sound of a lighter flicking in the background making my eyes narrow.

"Yeah that's the one. And are you smoking?"

"Busted." Jax says with a laugh "Yes I am, but not tobacco. Just something to take the edge off missing you."

I bite on the side of my lip, knowing how he feels completely "I talked to Peg about coming to Belfast."

"And? No, don't tell me I can tell. You can't?" Jax says, his voice dropping a little.

"Yeah, basically. It's not even her that's stopping it though. I'd need passports for the kids and while it'd be easy to get Abel one I'd need birth certificates for both Caden and Bailey, and they're not going to be ready for another couple of weeks."

"Can't you hurry them up? I mean, surely a phone call from Jacob Hale's niece could get them rushed."

I giggle "They're not done here baby, they're processed in Sacramento, and once the birth certs came through I'd still have to get their actual passports, which would be a minimum of three days. I'm sorry baby, I really am."

Jax sighs "I know. At least you tried." I hear a door close and Jax says "Hang on babe. Clay just came outside."

Even though Jax obviously covers the mouthpiece of the phone I still hear a few words 'information came through a third party' in Clay's darkly angry voice, followed by Jax's profanity filled exclamation of 'are we sure' and the affirmative that Clay practically growls out.

The sound clears and Jax's breathing comes down the phone "Babe I've gotta go."

"You found the leak." I say, without putting a question into my tone "Deal with it and come home. I miss you."

"Miss you too. Love you, and be careful."

I chuckle "Love you too, and I always am."


	28. Chapter 28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

The fact that I don't hear from Jax again for the next four days makes me beyond nervous, every time my phone jingles, flashes or vibrates I snatch it from wherever it was sitting in a panic, but there is nothing but silence from the members of SAMCRO that left for Belfast. Most of the notifications I thing I see my phone doing are in my mind, picking it up and seeing nothing but a blank screen.

When my phone rings not long after the twin's had their 2am feeding it's still in the middle of its first ring when I'm opening it "What happened? Are you okay? Is anyone hurt?" Questions come from my mouth rapidly, without even a hello to precede them. "When are you coming home? Can you still leave Belfast? How is everyone?"

Jax's laugh cuts through my last word "Calm down and I'll answer." I bite the tip of my tongue to silence myself and after a second of silence Jax stops laughing "We found and eliminated the issue, I'll tell you more when we get home. We're all fine. We're leaving in another 2 days, the flight back is staying the same as Oswald planned it so we'll be back in 3 days. Check with him when the flights due to land. Of course we can leave Belfast. Was that all?"

I giggle "That was all for now. Do you know how scared I was not having heard from anyone for days."

Jax sighs "I know babe. I would have rung if I could have. We've been in some very interesting situations in the last few days, but I'll tell you everything when I get home. How are the kids."

"Abel's being a rat bag for the last two days. He's missing you, but I know how he feels. We just got you back and you're gone again." I bite the tip of my tongue to stop the tears threatening, having realised that there's nothing I can do about how much I miss him.

"I miss you all too babe." Jax says softly "But we're all done here, the only thing keeping us here is that the return flight isn't due to go for another couple of days. We're all ready to come home." Jax laughs again "You should be happy about something though."

"What?"

"Seamus' wife is a shopaholic, and soon as I told her about the store you run over there she started buying shit for you that no one else in the US will have. I literally have like 14 boxes of stuff to bring back."

I can't help but laughing "Did you pay her back for it all?"

Jax laughs, but by the tone in it I know he's rolling his eyes as well "I gave her the card and told her to go nuts, hence the 14 boxes of stuff. They ain't little boxes babe. You're gonna need to get one of Unser's trucks to pick it all up."

I snort at him and disregard it, deciding to bring his Ram for the space, sure in my mind that the boxes he's talking about aren't as big as he's over exaggerating. "I'm not kidding babe. The smallest box D could lay down in. The biggest one I can rest my chin on."

"Give me her name, and her contact details. If these clothes are as good as the stuff I already stock she might be doing shipments for me more often then she realises."

Jax sighs "I'll bring it back with me. And why the fuck have you got me talking about clothes!?" He sounds like he's been harassed about it by his brothers during the time away.

"Because you love me, and everything that's been keeping me occupied while you're over there is good."

Jax laughs "True. How have the twins been?"

I snicker "Ellie and Kenny have been perfectly well behaved, I've been teaching them both how to bake, they're quite good at chocolate chip cookies, when the chips makes it to the bowl."

Jax growls which makes my lips curl into a bigger smile "You know I'm not talking about them."

"I know baby. They've been fine. If you want all the gross details I've been expressing milk like Peg suggested so they're solely on bottles now, but I got two different types, one for mommy and one for formula."

"So I can do some of those midnight feeds?" There's a burst of static then a muffled beeping sound and Jax's voice returns "Sorry babe, my phone's going flat, I'd better go stick it on charge, and you better go back to sleep."

I flick my eyes towards the ceiling " Okay. Love you and I'll see you in a few days."

Hanging up the phone I drop it back on the bedside table, turning and pulling Jax's pillow closer to my nose again, inhaling the smell that comes out of it every time I move it. It's sniffing the distinct smell of him that helps be drift back to sleep in the darkness.


	29. Chapter 29

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Even though I now have a solid date for Jax's return home the hours still drag by, the three days between when he called and when they're due to land pass so excruciatingly slowly that I'm sure time is going backwards, but a lot gets accomplished in that time.

Between Lyla and I we agree on the change of layout for the store and when Bob comes in it barely takes him half a day to pull the wall out, finding that the brickwork was actually just a very well done façade, and with having literally no stock in the store there was nothing to get dusty. Buying new displays and setting them up had taken another half day, the rest of that day spent picking through websites and placing the biggest orders to date for stock.

I'd spent almost the full day in the kitchen with Trinity the day before the guys were all due back home, baking anything that came into my brain ending up with so many cupcakes, cookies, cakes and pies that every single surface in my kitchen was covered, including most of the table where we'd been eating our meals, even with the amount that Trin had taken as they were warm out of oven and that Donna and Neeta had nabbed while walking through, Ellie and Kenny's hands making sneaky travels over the bench edges and onto cooling racks, till their mother had busted them trying to take a fourth cookie each in the space of an hour, when they'd been banned from the kitchen by their mother.

The morning that they're due home I wake up feeling utterly exhausted, the kids had all picked up on both mine and Donna's excited anxiousness and Ellie, Kenny and Abel had all played up, the twins running around upstairs between their room and the study where they'd been keeping their books and toys for almost an hour before their mother had pulled a Grandma on them and told them if they got out of bed one more time they'd be strapped to the bed, we hadn't heard a peep out of them following that.

Abel had thrown his dinner all over the kitchen, wiggled his way out of his diaper while in his cot, then cried till I went up and put a fresh one on him. The second I'd left the room he started crying again and didn't settle for almost 20 minutes when he finally fell asleep in my arms, moving him from curled onto my chest to his cot a mission that took me almost 10 minutes when every time I moved him to fast he stirred.

Abel, Bailey, Caden and even Doj had then ganged up on me through the night, taking turns every hour or so to want something, starting with Doj an hour after I'd gone to bed when he'd stood at the balcony doors are barked solidly till I took him outside, where he took off towards the front gate and stood barking till I'd gone to see what it was, finding him barking at a hedgehog on the other side of the fence had not amused me. Going back to bed I was up less than 45 minutes later when Caden demanded feeding, then an hour later with Abel.

Walking into the kitchen after my night Donna bursts into laughter, pushing the already filled coffee cup towards me "Rough night?"

I poke my tongue out at her, we'd crossed paths at 4am when Rebecca woke for the second of her 2 middle of the night feeds and Bailey had demanded that I get out of bed for the fifth time.

Donna leaves me in peace till I've finished my first cup of coffee before refilling it with a grin "What time does the plane land?"

I set my cup down on the table with a clink and look at her blankly "I have no idea."

Donna laughs "Are you serious? You organised their flights and don't know what time it comes back."

I shrug helplessly "I didn't organise anything. Just connected the two dots so that the guys could get from A to B with as little stress. But I'd better ring Eli and find out what time it lands."

Donna nods, returning to where she'd been behind the counter when I suddenly realise what she's doing "What are you up to?"

Donna looks up with a smirk "I'm making breakfast."

"You're what?" I stand up and walk behind the counter "What have you done?"

Donna chuckles "I put the bacon and egg muffin things you made in the oven and I'm making a fruit salad. It's hardly rocket science."

Picking up a piece of melon I pop it in my mouth with a nudge at her side "You're learning."

"You've been making me do all the cooking." Donna says, brushing past me and opening the oven "Can you get Ellie and Kenny's hands washed. They're playing with your dog outside."

Whistling from the door Doj comes bounding towards me with the twins on his tail. "Kids, hands then breakfast." Turning to look at Donna "Did he get breakfast?"

Donna shakes her head "Nope, easier to feed him when we're eating cause he dribbles otherwise."

I snicker more as I pour his biscuits into his bowl, their second morning Donna had given the kids cereal and Doj hadn't had his breakfast and proceeded to dribble all over Donna's arm and Kenny's leg. Kenny hadn't cared, but Donna had spent almost 5 minutes at my kitchen sink scrubbing her arm with disinfectant and hot water.

As we're finishing breakfast my cell rings from the middle of the table at the same time as Donna's phone chirps. Sharing a quick look she frowns "Don't suppose they've landed already?"

I shake my head as I'm picking up my phone "No, the only thing I'm sure of is that it wasn't due to land till after lunch." Glancing at the display before answering "Hey Cherry, what's up?"

"I just opened the doors at the store and it stinks."

"What?" She sounded confused, and I'm not feeling much clearer with the single sentence.

"It smells like the bin at the back of a greengrocer at the end of a slow week."

Her words flick a switch in my brain and I sigh "Are you inside or outside?" 

"Outside, it smells really bad in there."

"I'll be down in about 10 minutes, let anyone know that shows up that we'll be closed today and possibly tomorrow."

"Sure thing S, see you soon."

Closing my phone I get to my feet "You okay with all three of my monsters?"

Donna chuckles and looks towards the ceiling where all three infants are sleeping. "I'm sure I'll be fine. Your twins are still only at the 'eat, sleep, poop, repeat' stage. Besides, Neeta will be here soon."

"Yay, Nanta's coming!" Ellie says with a huge grin.

Shaking my head as I walk away I pick up my keys, deciding to be a bit indulgent and take the Viper for the very short trip into town. Pausing in the doorway I look back into the kitchen and wink at Donna, "Trinity, you want ot come for a ride?"

She's on her feet at my side before she even finishes nodding, pointing at her bare feet her pale cheeks bloom with colour "Oops."

I laugh, gesturing upstairs "I'll be out in the car."


	30. Chapter 30

CHAPTER THIRTY

A short one my lovlies, I'm sorry.

The second I walk through the door to the store I know that there's something seriously wrong with the fridge, it only takes one inhale before I step backwards out the door, closing it tightly "The chiller failed, that's what the smell is. The reason it smells like the back of a greengroceer is cause all the veges have gone off during the weekend."

Trinity stands as close to my side as she can, her face green from the smell she'd inhaled when she followed me into the store. "That's worse than dirty old socks."

Cherry frowns, her eybrows pulling together tightly "But it was all fine when I locked up Friday afternoon."

I shrug one shoulder "And if we'd opened Saturday like normal we would have noticed before it got this bad, but cause I decided to stay closed for the weekend to give you a break we didn't. No one was here while the contents of that fridge got warm, then started to decompose."

Cherry wrinkles her nose "So what do we do?"

I grin at her, and the way her shoulders shudder I know it's not a pleasant smile "We ring Gem and get her to send the prospect over who will come and clean the fridge, while I go to Stockton and order a new one, then we pray it won't take forever to be delivered. Cause the longer we're closed the more money it costs me."

Ringing Gemma it only takes a few minutes before she's got the prospect on the way so the three of us end up standing around waiting till he pulls up.

Getting off his bike he makes his way to my side "Gemma said you needed me?"

I nod leading him to the door "Yeah Rat, and you'll know why the second I open the door so I'll wait a bit." I giggle at the sigh of relief that comes from either side of me "The fridge over the weekend has failed and everything has definitely told us it's no longer useable. There are some big black rubbish bags in the cupboard two over from the oven to put everything in, I'd suggest double bagging it all. Don't worry about cleaning it, just get rid of everything in it."

He nods, and pulls the door open, lifting an eyebrow at the smell "Can I leave this door open?"

I shake my head once and he sighs before I laugh again "There's a backdoor about four steps from the fridge in question that you can prop open. It leads to the back of the store where the bins are to put the rubbihs in anyway. I think there's a concrete block out the back to prop it open."

He nods and steps through the door "On it."

It takes Trinity and I almost 2 hours to get to Stockton, find a replacement fridge, order it, arrange delivery and return to Charming. By the time I make it back to the house it's almost 10, driving past Neeta's station wagon I pull the car back into the garage and head into the house to be greeted by a very annoyed looking Donna, Rebecca in her arms.

"You." She points at me with a wiggling finger "You're in so much trouble."

Watching her finger bounce up and down I go almost cross eyed as she walks towards me "What did I do?"

She holds her hand out with her fingers wrapped tightly around something. Putting my hand under hers she opens her hand, two small, white and decidely sparkly things falling into my hand.

"Oh fuck." Sliding my rings back onto my finger she nods once.

"Yeah, I found them while I was loading the dishwasher. Just as well a certain husband is currently 10 thousand feet in the air huh?"

I nod "He does know I take them off to cook though."

Donna shakes her head "Yeah, forgetting to put them back on might get you in a bit of trouble, especially seeing Elliot rang just before to say they had really good winds and will be landing an hour earlier than planned, in like 45 minutes."

"And we have to be at Stockton airport, which is a 50 minute drive?"

Donna nods "That's why Neeta is currently in the garage buckling your kids into their seats. Ellie and Kenny are already in the car waiting. Bags are in the backseat, kids are all fed. Bottles are warmed and we're ready to go. We were just waiting on you two."

"What's Neeta going to do?"

"Neeta is going to stay here and watch that huge ass TV you have in the lounge, eat some of those cookies you made and wait till you get home, and make sure that your dinner is ready when you get back." Neeta says, her rich voice right behind me. "Your kids are ready to go. Abel is almost bouncing in his seat wanting to see his Daddy."

I turn around and smile at her "Okay, okay. Thank you Neeta. Cookies are in the storeroom, the ones you want are in the purple container with the blue lid. Don't eat too many, they're Clay's favourites as well."

Neeta grins, disappearing into the room before I can finish the sentence.

Looking over at D she shrugs "Good to go?"

I nod heading to the garage and the second drive to Stockton in one day.


	31. Chapter 31

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Through a series of lucky breaks that happen during our drive from Charming to Stockton we manage to make it to the airport as the plane is coming in to land, watching the huge grey shape lining up with the runway. Having caught up with Cam in her car just on the outskirts of town the three of us parking the cars between Gemma's Caddy and the row of bikes which have been locked in the hangar for a week Donna and I both get out of the cars, walking to Gemma's side, Cam appearing a second behind us.

I share a glance with Donna who grins at me, her usual vibration of excitement starting in her shoulders as the wheels touch tarmac with a screech and a puff of smoke.

It seems to take forever for the plane to slow, then crawl to the hangar before finally stopping. The back door disengages with a hiss and starts lowering. I have to giggle when the door reaches the point where there are a row of heads visible, Opie's and Clays in sight first due to their inches in height.

The ramp hasn't even hit the ground before Jax is moving, brushing past his mother who had taken a step forward he wraps his arms around me pulling me forwards till I hit his chest.

"Hi ba..." My words are cut off when his lips touch mine, his hands sliding up and worming their way into my hair while he thoroughly works on stealing my breath.

The sounds of the other greetings fade from my ears, the only sound the pounding of my heart as Jax takes control of a kiss so heated that my bones feel like they're melting. I'm not entirely sure how much time passes before he pulls away, his face looking serenly peaceful for a change, his eyes flick open and I feel like I'm drawn into the blue depths. "Hi."

It takes a few breaths before I can form a sentence, something that makes him grin widely while I gather my thoughts "Welcome home."

Kissing me again quickly he leaves his arm around me, moving to my side and heading towards the car. Opening the backdoor he glances over at me "Have you been feeding them protein shakes?"

I giggle and shake my head "No. They're just growing fast."

"You want to do what?" Gemma's high voice cuts through the noise, stopping every single conversation in it's tracks as the faces of everyone present turn towards her.

"Roh roh." Jax say in a whisper making me giggle as he unbuckles Abel's carseat around waving arms. "Rescue team incoming."

Slipping his free arm back around my waist I feel like I'm being towed towards where Gemma is standing, my heels wanting to dig into the ground at the tenseness I can see in her shoulders from where I'd parked the truck.

Slowing my steps I make him slow down "What?" 

"You'll see." Is all Jax says as he moves me forwards again.

Cam and Happy are silently standing with each other, their arms wrapped around the others shoulders, watching while Gemma speaks.

"You can't really expect that to be okay can you?" She snaps, her hand waving in the air.

"It's really none of your concern." Chibs' deep accent is thicker than it was when he left, the words understandable, but only just.

Donna cringes into Opie's side, Piney not far behind, a half empty bottle of Patron hanging from his fingertips.

Clay barely has time to shake his head at the Scotsman standing in front of him before Gemma's head snaps up "None of my concern? You want to have a 13 year old _child_ stay at TM with you. Surrounded by crow eaters, booze, weed and weapons and it's 'none of my concern'. Filip Telford you bet that Scottish accent it's my concern."

Looking over at Chibs I finally see what the argument that's stopped everyone from leaving has been caused by. "Kerianne?"

Kerianne peaks out from behind her father and spots Abel before me, running to Jax's side she starts tickling his toes. Almost before she reaches Jax and Abel the passengers' door of my car has been pushed open, Trinity's pale head appearing "Keri?" Her voice is a whisper, but the shape her lips make have it obvious what she's said.

Keri's head whips around, a smile spreading across her face as Trinity jumps out of the car and comes around to Jax's side as well, the pair of them immediately launching into each others arms, starting a conversation that flows so fast, with accents so thick I give up on trying to decipher what they're saying. Turning back to where Chibs and Gemma are still toe to toe I snicker as I realise Chibs' is digging himself a hole.

"She's my daughter, it's my choice where she stays." He says, trying to put an end to the discussion.

Gemma shakes her head furiously, her voice a low tone that carries "And the building you're intending for her to stay in is owned by me."

Chibs narrows his eyes, turning his gaze to his president, with a 'help me' look on his face.

Clay chuckles and shakes his head "How bout we take elsewhere and discuss, yes Gem discuss, the issues. On the tarmac of an airport, beside a plane that has just returned from Belfast is not a good place to be arguing."

Gemma shrugs off Clays arm and stalks towards her car, pausing when she gets to the bonnet "Neeta was going to make sure dinner was ready at 6. It's at Sarah's tonight." Gemma glances over at me then back at Chibs, speaking to me while she glares at him "Better check there's enough for one more."

"Okay Gem." I reply as she closes the door of her car and starts it, leaving a second later.

Jax rests his hand on my shoulder, having managed to shake off the girls who are now back by the car, their heads almost touching as they talk "Do you need to ring Neeta?"

I chuckle and shake my head "Nope. One more when there was already over 20 mouths to feed at dinner isn't going to make a difference.

Jax nods, his eyes burning into mine "Is she still staying with us?" I nod, answering the flick of his eyes towards Trinity "Then I guess explanations have to wait."

I nod, wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning over to kiss Abel's nose "It's only for another few days while Luanne finishes decorating her room. I'm guessing we'll have Keri now?"

Jax shakes his head "I'm tempted to say hell no, no more house guests." He wiggles his eyebrows at me making me giggle "But we know that the reason I'd be saying that is on hold for a while."

"Four weeks, at least." I reply, sighing.

"So I guess Keri can stay with us as well, provided her father agrees and Trinity is happy to share her room."

Trinity is nodding enthusiastically while Keri looks over at her father, her hands coming up under her chin "Please daddy."

Chibs groans while Clay, Opie and Jax all laugh loudly, Piney's wheezing chuckle the last to fade away. Lifting my eyebrow in silent question Jax chuckles again, leading me towards the car "While in Belfast Keri discovered that her father was completely unable to stay no when she called him daddy. She's been using it to her advantage since then."

I shake my head "That's okay Keri," I call over the catcalls Chibs is getting for giving in so quickly "Uncle Clay used to be the same around me when I was calling him 'Unc Cay'. Now where are these boxes?"

The boxes get loaded into the back of the truck that we borrowed from Unser, payment being another weeks worth of frozen dinners from the store. Not that I'd objected, since my return I'd been delivering meals to them at least once a month, watching as the stress left Della's face and Wayne started putting on a bit of weight. As each one is lifted onto the deck I become more glad that Donna ignored me and arranged for one of the on loan Sons to drive the truck out to the airport. By the time the last box is loaded the back of the small truck is almost full. Rubbing my hands together gleefully I suddenly sigh and look down, bringing Jax to a halt beside me.

"What? What's wrong?"

I gesture at the boxes "All those clothes in there, and none will fit me. I'm still too fat." I poke at my belly and frown as Jax bursts into laughter.

"Babe, you gave birth 2 weeks ago. That does not make you fat."

Donna nods, slapping me on the arm as she walks past "Yeah cause if you're fat then I am too. And I refuse to say that. I'll take both girls cause you don't have room, and by the looks of it they don't want to be seperated."

I nod, watching as Jax leans into the back of the car and puts Abel back in his seat, finally letting go of him for the first time since he picked him up. "I'll be right behind you."

I lean up and kiss him slowly "You better be there's cookies and beer at home."

Jax laughs "The food of champions?"

I shake my head as I get into the car, buckling my seat belt "The food a returning husband who has been away for far too long. And Sons who've been away."

"I love you." Jax says as he closes the door.

I smile at him "You should."


	32. Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY -TWO

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

The welcome home dinner goes exactly as I thought it would with the addition of Keri and Trinity talking more than eating, trying to catch up on everything they haven't been able to say over their Skype conversations and Facebook chats that seemed to take hours of each day.

As everyone leaves Jax wraps his arms around my shoulders, nuzzling his nose into my neck with a satisfied sigh "You have no idea how glad I am to be home."

Turning in his arms I grin up at him "I'm sure I know it's probably just as much as I'm glad to have you home. Can you tell me now what happened, or does it have to be censored for my ears first?"

Jax laughs, shaking his head "No, you can know whatever I tell you. But it might be an idea to make sure that those two teenage girls are in bed first."

Leaning against his chest for a second I take a few breaths, inhaling the smell of him that's just not quite right, the missing oil, grease and petrol smell is clear to me, the fact he smells like someone else's cheap soap and shampoo blatantly obvious. "Fine. I'll get the kitchen done and the girls in bed, you go have a shower or something."

Jax chuckles, climbing the stairs two at a time "Yes sir."

Trinity looks up from the dishwasher when I step back into the kitchen "Almost done Aunty S. Keri has some questions though."

Sitting across from her at the kitchen table I smile softly "Sure thing. Fire away."

Keri shoots a glare at her best friend, reminding me vaguely of when I threw Donna into a conversation she'd been putting off with Gemma.

Clearing her throat in a nervous gesture she takes a deep breath in "Why did you say I could stay here? Why wouldn't Mr Morrow's wife let me stay with my Da? Why does Trin call you Aunty S?"

I bite down on the laugh that wants to come out, instead shrugging one shoulder "Let's go in order, and feel free to ask anything else. Trin, don't forget the glasses behind you."

Trinity rolls her eyes with a giggle and turns around. Fixing my attention back on Keri I lean forwards "I said you could stay here cause TM is no place for a teenager to be staying, like Gem said. It's much nicer for you to be staying here than in a hotel, and Jax and I already have Trinity staying with us, another body isn't a big deal." Shrugging again I nod towards the stairs "Besides, until this afternoon when the guys arrived back I had Donna and her three children staying as well, I've gained two bodies, but lost four so I'm still feeding less then I was."

Trinity closes the dishwasher door and plonks herself at the table, leaning her elbows on the table she grins "Table cleared, dishwasher full and on."

I nod, looking over at Keri "As a side note, Trinity has chores which she has to do. You will as well."

Keri nods "She told me."

"Good. Now, 2nd question is the same answer. Your father currently lives at TM; it's not good for you, or any female under the age of 20 for that matter, to send any long period of time there. Last question that you had for now was about Trinity calling me Aunty S. It's simple, her father I consider an uncle which would theoretically make me her cousin, however she felt more comfortable calling me Aunty S. You can call me the same if you want, or just S. Everyone around here does."

Keri nods, looking a little uncomfortable still till Trinity elbows her "Relax Keri, she isn't going to yell at you."

Keri laughs "I know."

The pair erupts into another conversation that goes over my head, glancing at the clock on the wall I look at them both "Right its 9pm now. I want both of you in bed in the next 30 minutes. I will be checking on you in 45. Trinity will show you where the bathroom is upstairs, I know you don't have much in the way of clothes and stuff with you in the meantime Trin will share the stuff she's got."

Trinity pokes her tongue out at me again but they head up the stairs, their voices fading as the door closes.

Opening the back door for Doj I use the time while he does his nightly business to check doors are locked, windows closed and locked and that everything is turned off, venturing back into the kitchen as Doj's claws clack across the tiles. "Up to bed."

Doj bounces up the stairs as I finish locking up, closing the back door and sliding the lock over. Pressing my forehead against the cold glass I stand in the silence of the bright room until a muffled noise behind me makes me look up into the reflection of the room behind me.

"Hey babe. You okay?" Jax crosses the kitchen, boxers showing above the drooping band of his grey sweatpants.

I nod, finally stepping backwards from the door, busying myself with getting a drink while I watch him move around the room, the occasional drop of water sliding from his hair down his neck, which is when I finally have a chance to ask the question that's been on the tip of my tongue all night "You cut all your hair off?"

Jax frowns, running his hand over his much shorter hair "Didn't have a choice." I lift one eyebrow in confusion as he walks around the island; coming to my side "The birds in Belfast did not like me. Not at all."

I frown, until realisation hits me and I burst into laughter "Really?"

Jax glares at me "Four birds dive bombed me within five minutes; there was bird shit from one shoulder to the other."

I continue laughing, unable to stop myself as his gaze stays locked on mine until he shrugs, his eyes shining with laughter when he speaks again "My supposed best friend couldn't stop laughing either. I'll get him back though. Just you wait. Maybe some laxative dosed cupcakes for him."

I snort "You, baking? Can't see it happening, and Ope didn't do anything to me so I'm not baking them."

Jax shrugs "Okay, so I was going to ask you to do it to get my revenge for me. After all, I did stand aside and let you feed my brother laced cupcakes."

I giggle; remember Tig and the cupcake I'd iced with laxative icing just for him. "Hey, I was nice; I only put a single dose in it, not a whole packet like I was tempted to."

Jax shakes his head, lifting his hand and brushing over my lip "Wanna tell me about the removals?"

Shaking my head I lean into his touch "I took the lip rings out, Abel pulled on one rather hard the day after you left so to save myself from having them ripped out of my face I took them out. The nose fell out and the stud went down the drain, I couldn't be bothered finding another one. That's all, the rest are still in place." Jax can't help his eyes flicking down, making me snort "Yes, including those ones. They're all different though." His eyebrow lifts and I twist out of his arms, picking up my glass and draining it "Al changed them all to birth and breast feeding friendly designs."

Reaching back I grab his hand and pull him towards the stairs "But I'm tired and I'd like to go to bed please, it's bound to be a long day tomorrow."


	33. Chapter 33

CHAPTER THIRTY -THREE

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Over the course of the nigh the twins only wake up once, shortly after 3am and both Jax and I get up, Jax heading straight into their room while I go downstairs to heat bottles. Handing him one he looks up from the rocking chair "How's the feeding thing going?"

I shake my head "They're both fully on bottles now, even with only feeding one every feeding they still weren't getting enough. Peg said that was obvious after a couple of days. I kinda feel like a failure, but D stopped me with that. Did you know she couldn't feed either of their twins when they were born?"

Jax shakes his head "Not something that was shared."

The rest of their middle of the night feeding passes silently while I start trying to sort what needs to be done for the morning, Clay had set a meeting at TM for 11 the following day to catch everyone up on what had been happening in Charming, and fill the rest of the charter in on what had gone down in Belfast, not passing on any more information despite Gemma's protests.

Crawling back into our bed just after 330 Jax wraps his arms around me, returning to sleep almost instantly, his arms tight around my shoulders as they had been when he fell asleep earlier.

After a quick breakfast of bacon and eggs, with Jax chuckling at the amount of bacon that's taken possession of half our freezer he helps me load the three kids into the car. As we head towards TM I feel the sensation of 'real life' settling back on my shoulders like a welcome embrace.

The lot is packed almost to the road, bikes and cars seem to be parked in every available space, apart from the ones labelled with 'staff only' which is where I stick the Nitro. Almost before I've pulled the keys from the ignition the back doors are opened and arms come through the gaps, Bailey being picked up by Al, Caden by Cam and finally Abel by his father. Donna's car slots into the space beside mine and her twins are out and in the play area while she is still lifting Rebecca from her car seat, only to have her plucked from her arms by Gemma.

Trinity tugs on my elbow while I silently wonder where the group of children stealers have gone. Looking down at her she asks softly "What are we doing here?"

Smiling at her I lean against the side of the car "Your dad has to catch up everyone on what's been going on around here."

Trinity nods "Oh, okay. Does that mean you've gotta tell them all about that TA, AF, that cop guy that came to the store that day."

Jax's head snaps towards me so fast that I almost hear the crack of his spine "The what?"

I sigh "ATF Trin. And yeah I do." Lifting an eyebrow at him I shake my head almost unperceptively, my eyes flicking towards the clubhouse door.

The guys disappear into the Chapel, leaving us on the outside, but before the door closes Jax sticks his head out "I'll come get you so you can tell us about the cop."

I sigh, but nod once, heading towards the nursery at the other end of the hall where I find all the stolen children.

Two hours later the four youngest are napping, the two oldest have been taken to school when Jax's head sticks through the door "If you two are free we'll fill you in on why Keri came back."

I nod, jumping to my feet while Donna picks up the monitor and follows me down the hall. Dropping our phones beside the cigar box Donna chuckles as we walk through the doors "I've been in here more since you got back than I have in the whole time you were gone."

I shrug "And that's a bad thing?"

She circles the table, squeezing Piney's shoulder then dropping into Opie's lap "Nope." Looking over at Clay she grins "I feel like family."

Clay laughs, the sound echoing around the room for a second "That's cause you are family my little muppet. Now, you're gonna get _need to know_." His eyes swivel to mine "But first, we want to hear _all _about this Fed."

I hear the difference in the way he picks his words and nod once "Sure thing Uncle Clay. Do I at least get to sit though?"

Jax pats his lap, pushing back from the table "Sure babe." 

Taking my favourite seat I kiss his chin before glancing down at my hands "So this cop came to the store the other day, he must have been watching the place cause he showed up like two minutes after Cherry left to go pick up some emergency supplies. And Lyla wasn't there either."

Jax taps his fingers lightly on my knee "Why were you alone?"

I shake my head "I wasn't. Trin was there too."

Clay growls at me and I hold up my hands "And Rat was on his way, he was no more than five minutes away from the second Cherry left, which is probably why the guy was gone in 3. I think they've got my shop phones tapped." Jax frowns but lets me continue "So I guess it's just as well I never discuss club shit on it. The only thing they're going to hear is the latest increase in prices of eggs, how much I hate peeling onions and why no one in their right mind should ever wear sandals and socks."

Clay leans forward, propping his elbows on the table "We'll get Tig to come and do a bug check Sunday, you're closed then right?"

I nod "Yeah, but it'll be suspect if they have bugged the place and they suddenly stop working."

Tig shrugs "We'll deal with it."

"Okay. But before you do anything, including you Jackson. I can feel you tensing. The guy that came wanted to _warn _me. Well, us actually."

"What" Otto leans forwards in his chair, mimicking Clay's movements "would the AT fucken F be warning us about?"

"They're planning a raid on the next shipment. Someone you guys fucked off while in Belfast found out when the next lot of guns is due in and informed the authorities they're setting up to seize the whole lot."

Piney and Clay share a very long look, volumes of information floating between them in silence before Juice breaks it "So we've got six days to clean up?"

I shake my head "No. You've got till tomorrow. They're planning a raid on the lot. Anything that's here is gonna have to get out _today_."

"Who the fuck told you all of this information?" Bobby seems confused "And why?"

I glance over him with what I'm sure might be seen as a smirk "The FED is one of Derek's ex-employees, he left on exceptionally good terms and he recognised me in town. _That's _why he came to me. Cause he knows me."

Jax leans closer to me, his breath brushing my ear "Do you trust him?"

I nod, my hair catching on his goatee "I trust him. But in saying that we can't use him for information. Anything he passes has to be on his terms."

"Who the hell is he?" Opie asks.

Looking over at Happy "He was the one that put it into Derek's head to do all those checks on Cam's boyfriends."

"Did they date?"

I shake my head "No. He's married to one of the girls that Cam went to High School with, she's the one that introduced them. He was never interested in her. Or anyone other than his wife."

Happy nods "So what's his name?"

"Josh, Joshua Kohn."


	34. Chapter 34

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Happy disappears out the door, returning a couple of minutes later with Cam following him. Leaning against the wall just inside the door she gives a five minute run down of her history with Josh, which isn't much at all, a few meetings while at the office of her father, and a party where she introduced Josh to her friend, their wedding 18 months later and nothing further.

Juice is ordered to do a check on Josh to find out anything that they can, with his silent nod I almost roll my eyes, the encrypted files Cam has access to would hold almost all the information he'll find, but none of the Sons will think to ask, and by the look on Cam's face she won't offer.

"Can I go now, Al stole my Caden time." Cam spins on her heel and leaves the room a second after Happy and Clay both say she can.

Tig chuckles, looking over the table at his brother "You've got a firecracker there."

Happy shrugs one shoulder, his eyes intensely dark "You're just jealous she didn't want you."

Both Donna and I giggle at that, focussing the attention back on us leaning back into Jax's shoulder "So Belfast?" I ask.

Jax tightens his arms around my waist while Clay clips the end off of a cigar and lights it "Belfast was eye opening."

Clay exhales a puff of smoke and opens his mouth "Belfast was meant to bring SAMCRO to it's knees. For some reason McGee, their president and O'Neill, their SAA, thought that you girls would all be coming with us, kids included. They had a plan to separate you all and use you for leverage."

"What?" Donna sounds confused, while I just feel scared. "Leverage for what?"

"Moving the gun distribution right away from the Sons, all Charters." Clay says, catching my look he shakes his head "I know we've moved it from here, you were the brains behind that, but the fact is that not every charter can do what we've done, moving into legitimate business takes time pumpkin, and often a shit load of cash, which you know given you bank rolled it to start with."

Piney leans forward, dropping his ever present bottle of Patron on the table "O'Neill and McGee were going to force the Sons into stepping back from guns, kidnapping the wives and kids was the first step. Every day we didn't co-operate would have a body part sent to us."

Looking over as I hear Donna's loud inhalation, her hands white knuckled around Opie's forearm I watch silently as he leans forward, his mouth disappearing into her hair as he whispers into her ear, words that don't carry through the now silent room. Her body gradually relaxes, leaning against his chest she looks over at Clay "Sorry for interrupting."

Clay shakes his head, his cigar gesturing at Piney who swallows the mouthful of tequila and rests the bottle on his lap "That didn't take us long to find out, but we knew that the mastermind was not either of them. They didn't have the brain power to think of something like that."

Piney looks over at Chibs who picks up the story "The reason Keri is here is the culmination of what we found. Maureen Ashby was doing what she'd been told to do by her old man. She died being an obedient Old Lady. McGee and O'Neill were working with Jimmy. Jimmy had a network set up here to take over without any disruption. Their first delivery was meant to be our next one. When we told him we knew about his plans he thought we'd be happy about it, claimed that us moving away from Guns would be good for everyone, but that we'd still be in business with them, running drugs for their new gun connection."

Clay snorts "Sons don't run drugs. Never going to happen."

Chibs nods "Jimmy didn't take to well to us disrupting their plans. His ideal world we said yes, certainly and rolled over to let him do what he wanted. But he made an error in judgement."

Jax laughs behind me "That's an understatement bro."

Chibs shrugs one shoulder while I look confused, "What understatement?" Gemma asks from her position beside Clay.

"He threatened Keri, for some reason he decided that as she was the only SAMCRO kid available she'd be good enough for leverage." Chibs gaze darkens and his fist clenches "Fiona was fine with Keri being collateral damage in the scheme of Jimmy getting what he wanted."

"She what!?" Gemma jumps to her feet and starts pacing "I knew she was a cold heartless bitch, but to let her own child be put in the firing line." Her words trail into an intelligible mumble, a few phrases breaking through.

"Gemma. Sit down." Clay says, trying to grab her hand. Shaking off his grip she continues to pace, muttering about pliers and fingernails.

"Gemma!" Chibs raises his voice, causing her to stop, spin on her heel and fix her eyes on him. "Sit down. Keri is fine."

Gemma narrows her eyes, staying standing behind Clay's chair "How?"

"Fiona is dead. Jimmy is dead. McGee and O'Neill are dead." Chibs says, a satisfied smile stretching across his face.

"SAMBEL have had a major ranks clean out and are currently working on rebuilding their charter and the Kings are re-examining their closest connections." Clay continues "We're safe, mainly because we are the ones that cleaned house for them. The fact that we got there so fast, dealt with the issues that we did, and did it all without complaint has cemented the relationship between SAMCRO and The Kings." Looking over at Jax and I he smiles "That Jax was able to leave so quickly after his wife gave birth was something the Kings were both proud of and respected. That you were happy to stay and look after the kids was important. Family is high on their list of priorities and you've rocketed up their rankings pumpkin."

I blink silently "But I wasn't silent, happy, or agreeable."

Jax runs his hand up my arms "Do you think we let them know that."

Clay jerks his head at Bobby who gets to his feet and crosses to the safe in the wall, spinning the dial what seems like a dozen times before the door pops open, carrying a black duffle bag to the table he drops it and opens it, handing out stacks of cash like lollipops. Donna's eyes widen to comical proportions as Opie is handed two stacks.

Handing the last two piles to Otto Bobby sits back down, a smile hidden under his beard "The Kings were exceptionally pleased with the way the Sons behaved. Especially given the circumstances."

Jax squeezes my hand "Talk to Ma about what to do with that."

I roll my eyes and look over my shoulder at him "Baby, I know what to do with it. I give it to Bobby with a promise of some spectacular baking and he miraculously makes it clean for me."

Bobby chuckles, tucking the stacks he's passed back into the bag "I want Key Lime Pie and Lemon Meringue for one, Chocolate Chip cookies and fudge for the other."

I smile over at him "Certainly. Am I free now?"

Jax nods "Yeah we are. I'll come get you when we're done in here."


	35. Chapter 35

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

I'm sorry, this is a short one. Had a very emotional week, my sister in law went for a scan of her baby only to be told it had no heartbeat, so I'm not much in the mood for writing at the moment. Only other thing I can say is in my story Kohn won't be a bad guy.

The meeting is seemingly over an hour later when Jax appears in the doorway "How seriously should we take Kohn's warnings?"

I look up at him from where I've been sitting colouring in with Abel "25 to life seriously."

Jax nods, disappearing down the hall again, returning less than five minutes later "Any ideas?" 

Looking up at him I frown "For what?"

Jax jerks his head towards the door, handing Abel my crayon I smile at him "You keep colouring for Mommy, I'll be back in a minute and we can go get some chocolate milk." Abel grins as I get to my feet, his attention going back to the elephant he was colouring bright blue.

Following Jax into the hall he leans against the wall "How do we get the stuff that would end in 25-life out?"

"I don't know." I look at him in confusion "Can't you box it up like car parts or something?"

Jax shakes his head "Nah, if they're planning a raid they'll have the place being watched and shit like that will be checked."

Donna leans her head out of their door "Hey S, didn't Gem get you to order the truck to come suck out the oil tank today?"

I nod and Jax looks over at her and frowns "But what does…Don you are brilliant!"

Donna smirks, turning around and going back into the room. Jax leans down, pressing his lips against mine quickly before turning on his heel and walking back towards the main room of the clubhouse calling over his shoulder "We'll be done in an hour."

True to his word an hour later Jax is at the door "We're all done."

I turn to look at him, lifting my finger to my lips "Shhhh, they're all sleeping."

Jax peers around the doorframe and steps backwards, the four cots in the room are occupied by sleeping children.

Crossing the hall he pushes open the door to his room and then stops "What the fuck?"

I chuckle, brushing past him "That's right, you haven't been in here since we finished the renovations."

Jax looks around the room before seeing something that makes him laugh. "What's that?"

"A mirror."

He shakes his head "Nah, beside that."

"It's the first target that I ever used in New York shooting. The one beside it is the last, just to show you that I'm still patiently waiting for you to take me out to Bluebird."

Jax runs his hand over his face and steps over to the bed, sinking down into it with a sigh "I know. I keep promising and we just never manage to get there."

Leaning into his side I shrug the opposite shoulder "I know we'll get there one day."

Jax presses his forehead to my temple "How bout we make time. When are the kids the most settled?"

Thinking for a second before I reply "Between 2 and 4 normally. All three of them normally have a nap about then. It's the time I normally use to catch up on washing, emails, accounts and business stuff."

Jax shakes his head "Tomorrow at 2 I'll be at home to pick you up, we'll head out for a couple of hours."

"We can't."

Jax stiffens minutely "What do you mean we can't?"

I chuckle and nudge his side with my elbow "You're being raided tomorrow. You'll be stuck here all day I'm sure of it. Do you want me here?"

Jax shakes his head "No. If it's as bad as the last one you, Don and all the kids need to be away from here when it goes down. But fuck, if it's that bad Ma's going to be _pissed_."

"Why?"

"The last raid was about 3 years ago. I was up at Reno when it happened, came back the following day to find the place demolished. Clay said they literally took an axe to the walls, but couldn't find anything so had to leave with their tails between their legs." Jax laughs "Ma was so angry she was speechless at the damage."

"And she just had the place remodelled. She's not going to be pissed baby, she's going to detonate like a fucken nuclear weapon if they do that shit again."

Jax grimaces "That's what I'm afraid of."


	36. Chapter 36

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Rather segmented chapter cause I'm trying to cover the night before the raid, but also put in a couple of things that I _think _will be important in future.

Jax and I eventually get out of TM shortly before 7pm, Gemma having decided to have a pizza and beer dinner for the guys as a secondary welcome back, but an early night due to the backlog of work everyone knew was waiting for them.

Driving home Donna and my cars are between the trail of bikes that now head in the direction of SAMCRO corner the area of three blocks where the houses of Juice, Happy, Jax, Opie, Clay, Tig and Bobby are located. I stifle a giggle thinking about the idea of them car-pooling, picturing them all jammed in Donna's minivan makes me laugh so hard I sway a little on the road. Correcting myself I flick my eyes towards the roof as Jax accelerates till he's beside my window, looking over with a quizzical look till I shake my head.

Pulling into our drive Happy and Juice both continue on, their houses further down then ours. Parking in the garage Jax has the house opened before I've even managed to get one of the kids out of the car, lifting a dozing Abel onto his hip and curling Bailey in his arms he leaves me to pick up our youngest and follow him into the house.

"What was that bad driving about?" He asks, as soon as all three kids are settled in their respective beds.

"I had a thought of petrol consumption." I say with a chuckle again, leading the way through to the master bedroom where I strip off the slacks and t-shirt I'd been wearing, pulling a pair of shorts and a singlet out of my draw. Looking over my shoulder at him as I pull my hair back "I thought about you guys all car-pooling to TM to save gas, in D's minivan."

Jax stops in his tracks, a horrified look falling across his face while I vanish back out the door.

He finds me 10 minutes later in the gym, adjusting the speed on the treadmill "That's just cruel."

I nod with another laugh "I know. Now go away, you don't need to watch me sweat."

Jax chuckles, turning around "I'll be out in the garage, one of your tail lights is out."

"K babe. Thanks."

"Don't work too hard."

I poke my tongue out at his retreating back, waiting till he's out of ear shot before muttering "Sure, cause being a whale at your side next time there's a party at the clubhouse would be _so much fun_."

An hour later I stick my head into the garage "I'm making tea, you want some?"

"Only if you can put it in with a shot of Jameson."

I wrinkle my nose "Coffee with Jameson and a slice of banoffee pie do?"

Jax grins, heading past me in a hurry "You get the pie, I'll get the booze."

When Jax is at the table having just stuffed a huge bite of pie into his mouth I drop the bombshell I was waiting for "I'm going to be at TM tomorrow when the raid happens, we all are."

Jax chews hurriedly, his eyes flashing and even before he opens his mouth I know what he's going to say "No. Definitely not."

I lift my eyebrows at him "It actually wasn't a question. D will be here to drop off the kids in the morning, Neeta is going to be here with them all, she'll have Trin and Keri to help so she'll be fine, those two girls are already wrapped around tiny Teller fingers."

Jax has been shaking his head while I'm talking and when he sets his fork down with a loud click I lean back in my chair "Can you, just once, do something I ask? Just once, act like an Old Lady and do as you're told."

I snort loudly "You _knew _I was never going to blindly follow orders, Clay and Gemma didn't raise me too. Gem _always_ questions everything, she never does anything just because Clay orders, until he gives her a reason. You can't expect me to be a well behaved obeying little sheep."

Jax shakes his head again "I don't expect you to be a sheep." At my further lifted eyebrow he sighs "I don't, otherwise this conversation would never have happened. However if the ATF are going to be raiding the clubhouse I don't want you there."

"Tough." Jax starts to protest again but I shake my head which silences him "I'm going to be there for a couple of reasons and if you listen to them you'll understand why."

Finishing his pie he picks up his coffee and waits for my reasoning.

Mentally crossing my fingers that my overreacting husband will actually listen I list the reasons that I know are being listed to Sons in at least four other houses "Cam needs to be there, she knows Josh but she won't be there without me and Al. The ATF are going to try something, you know that, and while you're all being cuffed and dragged somewhere for questioing what better time then to try and break Old Ladies, take them on a drive past TM while you're all being handcuffed and thrown around." Jax makes a sound kind of like he's giving in and I press on with my third reason "Gemma will be there, and you know she'll expect us to be there as well, and I will never hear the end of it if I'm not, D either. Al, Cam, Lyla and Cherry may get away with it cause she's not quiet as involved with them as she is with D and I." Jax sighs and I lean forward, pressing my hands to his when I tell him my last reason "And I will not sit here twiddling my thumbs while a bunch of hacks from a government agency seperates my family and tries to manipulate them. Okay?" Leaning back in my chair I smile brightly at him.

"No." Jax says with a tightening of his eyes "You won't be there, you don't need to see that, or go through that."

I sigh again "Don't you see, you can't protect me from it. It's either going to happen on their terms or mine, I'd much rather it be mine."

"What do you mean?"

"When Josh talked to Cam he gave her a very specific warning that the head of the current case would try and split the women off, seeing us as the weakest point. Ironic really given it's a woman leading the case. She didn't tell you guys this cause she thought you would listen to reason. Silly really, I would have thought by now she would know you guys are unreasonable sometimes. I would rather be in control of the time and place of the meeting with this woman."

Jax stands up and heads to the sink, dumping his plate and coffee cup in it before turning to me "I don't have much of a choice do I?"

I shake my head, following him and wrapping my arms around his waist "You can ask me to stay here and if you can give me a good reason then I will, but baby I want to be in control of this meeting with Agent Stahl, besides having us there when the raid happens is going to show that none of the Old Ladies of SAMCRO are afraid of the ATF."

Jax kisses my forehead, lifting his hands to cup my face so I look at him "Just promise me you won't antagonise her."

I smile brightly, leaning onto my tiptoes to kiss him "I promise I won't intentionally antagonise her."

Jax groans "I don't like the sound of you adding 'intentionally' to your sentence but you can come. Just do me one favour."

"Sure thing baby, what?"

"Use the Viper, I want to see the ATF bitch's face when she realises that one of the Old Ladies is driving a car worth more than she earns in a year."

I snicker slightly "You mean more than she earns in 5 years."

**I stole 'SAMCRO corner' from someone else. I'm not sure who it was that originally that said it, it might have been Harlee Quinn who I _love_, her Jaxene series is my favourite of all fanfics, I have searched but can't find the source, if someone knows who it is then please let me know.


	37. Chapter 37

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

Maternity dress photo is on photobucket.

There's a sort of nervousness that settles around Jax's shoulders somewhere in the middle of this second cup of morning coffee, watching him from the corner of my eye while I help Abel get some food in his mouth instead of all over his head I wait for him to speak, and sure enough it doesn't take long.

"I've been thinking more babe, and I really don't want you there." I open my mouth to protest but he shakes his head, lifting his hands and running them through his hair "I don't want you there, but I get why you need to be, and why you will. It's probably going to be a rough day."

I shrug, wiping Abel's face clean of the banana he'd been eating "It won't be a picnic, thats for sure, but cookies make everything better and I still have some left to take in."

Jax laughs, a genuine smile crossing his face for the first time since he found out about the impending raid. "That's your solution to everything huh? Cookies?" He says while he walks around the table to my side.

"Yep." I reply with a grin as I stand and slide my arms around his waist "If it can't be fixed with cookies or cake then I'm at a loss."

Kissing my forehead Jax rests his hand on Abel's head "I want another one, you know that right?"

I frown "What?"

Laughing Jax leans down and kisses Abel's head as well, turning to me and kissing me again, his tongue softly stroking mine till I'm breathless "I want another kid."

"We have twins upstairs that are barely out of me and you want more?"

"Not right now. In another year or so. I want one where I can be there from conception to birth. I wasn't with Abel cause of Wendy, I wasn't with Bailey and Caden cause of being inside. I want to be here for the moments that I missed, all those ones you were swearing at me about missing."

"Ask me again in a year, when I can fit back into my jeans and my ass isn't the size of a whale."

Sliding his hand down my back Jax squeezes the mentioned part with a smirk "Feels good to me." The smirk fades from his face, replaced by a look of revoltion as he backs away, holding his hand out in front of him, squished banana hanging from his fingertips.

Bursting into laughter as he walks to the sink, his hand as far in front of him as possible I lean down and wipe Abel's fingers clean, then the table of the highchair. By the time I'm halfway to the door with my oldest son on my hip Jax's hand's clean again and he's picking up his kutte "I'm going to head in now that I'm clean again, but you might wanna change, you have banana hanging off your ass."

I wiggle my behind at him "I still have to shower anyway baby. I'll be at TM in about an hour."

Jax bike roars out of the driveway as the noise of Donna arriving with her three kids echoes through the entry way. Sticking my head over the balcony I hold a finger to my lips "The girls are still sleeping."

"No we're not." A tired voice says behind me.

Turning around I stifle a giggle at Kerianne standing in the doorway, her curls sticking out in every direction, Trinity standing behind her, her hair by contrast pin straight even after a nights sleep. Looking at the both I shake my head at the bags under their eyes "If you two are going to stay awake all night talking I'll move you to different rooms."

They both rapidly shake their heads, Keri saying softly "But she's going to her Da's soon so we'll be apart then."

I snort "You realise that Otto lives about 15 minutes walk from here."

"By my da hasn't got anywhere to live yet."

I nod once "I know, that's why you'll be staying here till he does. But between us Gem has some places for him to look at tomorrow." Leaning closer to her I whisper "And I'll get my real estate agent looking too."

Keri nods as Trinity throws a dressing gown over her head "Breakfast?" The pair bounce down the stairs, barely nodding when I tell them not to make a mess in my kitchen.

Donna chuckles as she follows them, grinning up at me when I tell her there's a pot of coffee in the kitchen.

45 minutes later I'm back downstairs, Abel had been bathed and then handed to an eager Neeta who had walked straight up the stairs from the front door, allowing me to shower while she got him dried and dressed.

Stepping into the kitchen Donna glances over and chuckles "You stealing his clothes again?"

Looking down I shake my head "No, this is actually one of those maternity dresses you brought me."

Donna pokes her tongue out "I know. You ready to go?"

I nod, lifting my keys from the bench and turning towards the garage "Girls, please behave. Neeta knows what you're expected to do. For the moment Keri you can help Trin with the stuff she has to do."

The pair nod, Trinity struggling to keep her eyes open lead me to believe that they will be heading back to bed for more sleep after they've filled their stomachs. "There are three kids asleep upstairs so if you're going back up there be as quiet as you can. If you feel the need to make lots of noise do it in the gym, it's soundproofed. But no playing with the weights."

Keri and Trinity both nod, starting to chuckle as Donna pushes me towards the door "If you don't leave now I'm gonna take your car keys off you and leave you here."

Shaking my head I exit the back door heading towards the separate garage where the Viper was kept, giggling at Donna as she reaches my side after I've already unlocked the door and disabled the alarm. "I thought we'd be taking your Nitro."

I shake my head with a laugh "Jax said if I couldn't be a good Old Lady and listen to him about not being there then I was to at least bring this."

Donna settles into the passengers seat with a sigh "Why?"

"This car is worth more than the head ATF bitch will earn in half a decade. We're going to rub it in that SAMCRO is not a poor, white trash, unknowledgeable bunch of inbreeds." Grinning in a way that I know isn't pleasant I start the car, the engine roaring like an angry wildcat "And if things go sideways, or seem even slightly off the ATF side of legal then I'll bury her under a pile of paperwork and legal terms that will make a dictionary look like a bedtime story."

AN: I have a request to all reading, even if you only post a single word can you please review so I know how many readers I have. I could do with the ego stroking at the moment, life has gotten very hard recently and my mojo is lacking.


	38. Chapter 38

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Thank you for all of the reviews, I'm completely blown away.

In a town as small as Charming is a Dodge Viper growling its way through the streets is definitely an unusual site, so much so that by the time we reach the driveway of TM almost everyone that we've passed is looking stunned, the low slung grey car only having been brought out a couple of times since I brought it, due to my inability of fitting behind the steering wheel.

Turning into the lot with a twitch of the steering wheel I can't stop the grin on my face when I push open the door "Maybe Stockton this afternoon?"

D shakes her head "Not today. I think this morning will be enough excitement for the day."

"Spoil sport. I just want the drive really."

Donna laughs as we head towards the office, Gemma's voice calling our names before we'd even gotten completely out of the car.

Stepping into the office Donna sinks into the sofa while I lean against the door frame "You called." I say with a snicker.

"I did. Seeing you're here on your off day Donna I don't want to see you in here at all."

"I see, I love you too Gem." Sticking her bottom lip out she manages to keep a straight face for about two steps before starting to laugh "I'm going to go get coffee then."

Gemma waits till the door swings closed again before looking at me "How's everything going?"

"It's fine Gem."

Gemma laughs, lighting a smoke with a flick of her lighter "Sweetheart I know that's bullshit. If there's anything I know is that things aren't fine. They'll get there, but if you need to talk to me then I'm always here."

I nod, leaning across the table to give her a quick hug "I know Gem."

"Course you've got all your girls that you can talk to, you don't need this old lady anymore."

I roll my eyes towards the ceiling before pulling back and meeting her eyes "Stop it. You know I'll always need you, and my husband will always need you. My uncle will always need you but more importantly then all of them is that my kids will always need their Grandma."

Gemma sighs "I know baby. Guess it's just a little hard watching all the boys paring up and leaving the nest."

I giggle as I sit back down "So you're more upset that the guys are all moving out of the clubhouse than anything else?" Gemma snorts but I push on "No, I get it. Since I came back suddenly your actual son is married with three kids living in a new house. Four additional Sons have Old Ladies that didn't before my explosive return and there are more kids around."

Gemma looks at me silently for a second, her head tilted ever so slightly to the side "I'm not upset about it at all, it just feels a little like I'm being dethroned."

I can't help the laughter that comes out of me, watching as Gemma gets more and more flustered with each gale of giggles until I manage to get control of myself "Gem, I'm never going to be you. I love you, you know I do, but I could not sit in that chair day after day dealing with all the unorganised bullshit that arrives from out there, the work forms that take an hour to decipher, the order sheets that come back with crude drawings on them and the lack of clothing in every single poster on the walls."

Gemma smiles, a tiny smile that shows she's planning something "Oh I know that, why do you think I'm training Donna. She'll eventually be doing this role, but you have to realise you'll end up her boss."

I frown, not liking the route this conversation is taking "What do you mean?"

"Well, when I die my half of this place goes to Jax, and when Clay goes his half comes to you."

Getting to my feet I shake my head angrily "I'm not interested in talking about that sort of shit Gem."

Gemma hops to her feet and circles the desk, pulling me into her arms "Relax it's not going to happen any time soon, but with all the shit that went down in Belfast Clay's feeling a little of his mortality, McGee was his age baby."

"And McGee died cause he was a traitor to this Club Gemma." I say, probably sounding more angry than I should be. "Uncle Clay is not a traitor and he better not be getting all morbid on me cause I'll go shove my foot up his ass, _after_ I've removed it from yours. No talking about death today. Not with the law enforcement storm that's going to arrive soon."

Gemma hugs me tighter "Okay baby. Can you go make sure that all the boys have their order sheets ready for me to decrypt tomorrow."

I sigh but nod in agreement, heading into the garage where the mechanics and Sons are all starting their day. Sliding up to Chibs' side I tap his arm "Can you whistle for me."

Chibs grins and makes a show of biting his tongue before turning and sticking his fingers in his mouth, the ear piercing noise making me cringe but getting everyone's attention.

"Thank you." I smile at Chibs before flicking my head around "The Queen of these lands has requested that all requests for parts be preparted for submittion for her royal review tomorrow. Additionally she has asked if you could all refrain from using your trained monkeys to fill in the forms as their handwriting is atrocious."

Tig frowns from behind the Alfa Romeo he'd drawn the short straw to work on "What?"

I giggle at his confused look "Gem wants the parts order forms tomorrow, and she wants to be able to read them so neat writing please."

Turning to leave Clay is the first one that grunts in disapproval, until I smile over my shoulder at him "And if they're all neat, and it only takes Gem an hour to do the orders then I'll bring cookies next week."

Jax laughs "Cookies fix everything."

I nod, changing my course to stop and give him a tight hug and kiss. "I'm going to take D to the store for a while, I'll bring coffee and lunch when I come back." I grin at him, the same smile that Donna got while we were in the car "I'll be back just after 11 so that the ATF will already be here." I chuckle "I actually can't wait to see their expressions when I pull back in."

Jax tightens his arms around me pressing his lips to my forehad "I'll ring if something happens before then."

Pressing myself closer to him I ignore the sounds of work starting, the metal on metal sound of tools being put to use against engines, the hiss of the air compressor and the muttering comments that always float around the building. Inhaling the smell of Jax's chest a slow smile crosses my face when I realise he finally smells like my Jax again, the smell of home. When I sigh Jax stiffens and then laughs.

"You're killing me babe."

Frowning in confusion I twist so I can look up at him, noting the semi pained expression on his face "What?"

Leaning down so his mouth is buried in my hair he whispers "I haven't had you in months and you're pressing all my favourite soft bits against me. It's making things very hard."

Realisation floods through my and my cheeks heat up, trying to pull further away ends with him shaking his head and pulling me closer "I didn't say I wasn't enjoying it." A semi evil glint lights his eyes "Of course I'm going to enjoy it much more when I can give you what I want."

Clay clears his throat from behind Jax "Didn't need to hear that."

Jax laughs, finally letting go of me with a hard kiss to my mouth "Then don't listen old man."

Moving away from the pair of them seconds before Clay grabs Jax and tries to noogie him I'm still giggling when I open the clubhouse door, the smell of lemon cleaner hitting my nose.

"D, where are you and what are you doing?" I call into the empty room.


	39. Chapter 39

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Donna's head appears from the other side of the bar "I was cleaning while I waited. Just wiped tables and shit. Smells better in here though."

Crossing the room I start pulling her towards the door "It does." Latching the door open I continue pulling her across the lot towards the car "We're going to the store. I need to check a couple of things, but I also want to arrive back here with the raid has already started." I say once we're in the car with the doors closed.

Donna nods "Sure. What do you want me to do?"

Glancing over at her as I back out of the carpark "Make sandwiches for lunch for the guys."

Donna sighs "Here I was thinking I'd have a morning off."

I snort in laughter "Yeah right."

The clock hits 10am just as I finish talking with Lyla about the orders that are en route, the boxes of clothes that had been brought over from Ireland sitting on the floor, the contents spread across 2/3s of the racks, price tags spitting out in a constant stream from the machine on the bench. "So get everything price marked and on racks, anything that doesn't fit put back in storage and I'll find out about getting another unit to hold more stuff. Let me know when you've set up the interviews for help and I'll come in and we'll do them together." I tell Lyla as we walk down the stairs, looking over my shoulder at her questioning noise I shrug "I'm not the one that's going to be working with the people we hire, you are so you've got to get on with them more than me."

Closing the door behind us I sigh at the 'Temporarily closed' sign that's been attached to the dark wooden plank "We should be reopened tomorrow?"

Lyla nods "At this stage yes. Al's meant ot be coming in tonight to help me."

"And you're heading to TM for lunch?"

Lyla nods again "Cherry has two of the part timers coming in for the lunch rush so she can be there as well, the guys wanted to have lunch together for some reason."

I don't say a word, the knowledge of the raid hasn't been passed to Lyla or Cherry for a very specific reason, neither of them have been inked yet. Miles was obviously head over heels for Lyla but Cherry still seemed a little detached from what I'd visited, even though her and Kip had been together for over a year.

The kitchen door is open, Donna's singing along with the radio "...But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece. Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash."

I laugh "I have the diamonds on the timepiece, Cam's dad has the jet plane. No island, tigers or Maybach cause they're ugly as sin but I'm sure we can find some Cristal."

Donna pokes her tongue out at me "Can't drink, breast feeding."

"I'm not." I reply, swatting at her as I step past "How we doing?"

"Sandwiches are made, fruit is in the black bag and all there's left to do is pull some sugar filled stuff for them. I made some for the kids as well, I thought we could drop them at your house before we go back to TM."

"Sure thing." I reply, pulling a cardboard box off the shelf and filling it with cookies and slices of cake.

Stopping by the register on the way out Cherry has a quizzicle look on her face while I ring up the order, sliding a couple of notes into the draw and taking my change. "Why bother?"

I glance over at her "So that my books balance, and this can be a business expense for TM this way."

Cherry shakes her head with the confused look still on her face.

Lyla sticks her head in the door of the kitchen with a grin "Right. I'm leaving now, do you want me to take the food?"

I nod and let her take care of the box and two bags of food while Donna picks up the single bag with food for the kids and Neeta.

"See you shortly." I call as we leave, the bell above the door tingling with our exit.

The stop to deliver food to Neeta doesn't take long, the girls had gone to bed not long after Neeta had returned from taking Ellie and Kenny to pre-school the three youngest were sleeping again and Abel was playing with one of the many educational toys he'd been brought.

Due to this we're stopped at the corner to turn towards TM when a line of black SUV's go screaming past.

Donna and I share a glance and a smile. After turning the corner I pull over to the side of the road and we listen through a single song on the radio before pulling out again. The four minute head start we've given on the ATF gives us a very interesting picture when I turn into TM's driveway.

Several heads turn towards the drive as I turn in, the engine rather loud with the gear I'd deliberately downshifted. Jax and Opie both look relieved that we're back, Clay has an almost blank expression, bar the satisfaction that glints in his eyes but the reactions of the four others is truly interesting. One of the ATF agents manages to hide his smile a second before another of the ATF agents turns to him, two of the agents jaw's literally drop as I park the car but it's the fifth persons reaction that has me biting my lip to not giggle.

The tall blonde agent who is at the back barking orders has her mouth still open, the person beside her still waiting for her to finish whatever she'd been saying, she says a few more words before she turns and starts in our direction.

Pushing open the door and getting out as she reaches the side of the car she opens her mouth "If you're booked in for work to be done today you're going to have to come back."

I snigger as Donna gets out of her side "Oh no, we're not coming back." Walking around the car I deliberately smile brightly at her "Sarah Teller. You have my husband in cuffs over there. Is there any reason?"

Her eyes narrow and an odd expression crosses her face, for a split second I'm tempted to ask if she's had a gelignite enima which has just gone bang but she speaks before I can "They're handcuffed while we conduct our search."

I frown "So he put up a fight?"

One of the other officers steps up to her side "Stahl, we're done with the office, didn't find anything. Moving on to the garage."

She nods distractly and waves him away when I open my mouth again "Cause if none of them put up any sort of fight I can't imagine why they'd be handcuffed and lying on the concrete."

A bang and then a series of metallic crashing sounds makes all heads snap from whatever their attention was being held by to the garage bay where one of the tool boxes has been pushed off the bench it was sitting on, the tools scattering across the ground.

One of the agents looks over "Accident, sorry."

"Hope you're gonna clean all that up." Tig calls, the officer behind him nudging his foot.

"Shut it. It was an accident so no."

Tig swears violently. Moving slightly so he's facing the concrete again. Watching every single Son that was in the lot handcuffed, face down on their own property makes my blood boil, an anger I wasn't aware of possessing seems to be boiling in my blood.

Turning back to the head agent I smile polietly at her "Agent Stahl is it?" She nods and my smile fades instantly "Well Agent Stahl if you don't get those men off the concrete and out of those fucken handcuffs right now you're going to be Ms Stahl who works at the McDonalds asking 'Do you want fries with that'."


	40. Chapter 40

CHAPTER FORTY

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Agent Stahl opens her mouth but I continue speaking, completely ignoring the shocked looks on everyone of ther subordinate's faces "The security footage here will cooberate my theory that not a single one of them protested, therefore you are unjustly treating them like criminals. None of them, bar my husband, have activity on their criminal records that dates within the last year. Futher to that, only two of them have any activity within the four years previous so if you would ever so kindly get them off the concrete before my lawyer answers his phone."

Pulling my phone from my pocket I internally giggle at the stunned look on her face, but she doesn't move while I unlock the screen and pull up Patrick's number.

The phone barely rings twice before he answers "Sarah, what can I do for you."

"Hey Patrick, you still have contact with Robert don't you?"

"Which Robert?"

"The guy that works in the Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms office in Washington."

"Indeed I do, did the heat become more intense."

I chuckle in reply, turning away "Yes it did. I currently have a lot full of agents who have handcuffed a group of unresisting, tax paying, members of society. I'd like my displeasure known as soon as possible seeing _Agent _Stahl seems to be neglecting her duties to those that pay her wages."

Patrick laughs "I'll give him a call now and see what I can do, but Sarah you need to remember that the people you surround yourself with have to behave."

I snort "They always do."

There's a very unhappy twist to the masculine face that's looking back at me when I turn back around, as I overexagerately check that the guys are still in handcuffs I shake my head in disgust.

Agent Stahl pulls out a set of handcuffs and heads towards me, making me back up till my ass hits my car "If you think for one second you're putting those on me you have got another thing coming lady. I will happily go and sit at that picnic table over there with two of your agents but I gave birth a very short time ago so you will _not_ be handcuffing me and force me to lay down on concrete."

Agent Stahl takes a step towards me "I'm not sure who you think you are, if I want to handcuff you and put you in the back of squad car and send you to San Francisco for questioning I will. I will not take orders from a white trash slut who's probably been ploughed by every single one of the monkeys on the ground over there."

Stepping back involunentarily I know my surprise shows at how quickly her composure broke, that it only took a couple of minutes of interaction for her to break.

"Your ass is mine until I decide that I'm done with you. If that's today or tomorrow, or next week that's _my _decision how long I keep you."

I snigger regaining some of my composure "If you want my ass you're going to have to get in line behind my husband, who currently looks rather unhappy."

Stahl turns around, Jax's eyes are locked on her, the blue depths that I've seen holding dozens of emotions seem to be stuck looking like he'd happily flay her alive.

Clay doesn't look much happier, neither do the rest of the Sons, each of them looks like they'd like to inflict some sort of bodily damage to Stahl.

Josh calls her name as he starts walking towards us, a cell phone in his hand "Director on the phone for you, sounds important. I'll take over watching this lot." Waiting till he's walked passed Stahl he turns to the officers "Get them off the ground and out of cuffs, they've co-operated since the second we got here. Mrs Teller, Mrs Winston, if you two would please take seats over their we'll have this sorted in a moment, I hope you understand that we'll have to have a couple of officers watching you."

Donna and I both nod polietly, following him while the officers start hoisting the Sons to their feet and uncuffing them.

Stahl walks away from us, the phone glued to her ear. By the time she's finished on the phone her face is beyond red into almost purple. Josh mutters quietly "Better go." Heading across the lot he waits till he's at the mid-point "You okay June?"

Leaning into the side of Jax where he's sat down beside me I watch the pair of them as they talk, Stahl pacing back and forth a half a dozen steps in each direction, her hands waving wildly. During one of her walks towards us her gaze fixes on me and the arrows of hate are almost visible. Cringing further into Jax's side I whisper "I did a bad bad thing."

Jax chuckles, folding his arm around my shoulder "You pissed her off. But they're not going to find anything here."

Four hours later the final officer leaves the clubhouse, their hands as empty as they were when they went in. Agent Stahl had dragged one of the chairs outside and sat in it at the back of the front SUV, her head swivelling between watching us and looking at the screen of a laptop opened on the tailgate, each of the officers reporting to her every now and then.

As the door swings closed behind Josh, who had gone in to supervise he heads straight towards her, his expression showing what I know he's going to say "We didn't find anything in there, no bullets, no shell casings, no weapon parts, not even any gun oil. We've taken swabs from the walls, benches and tables but none of them showed any gun powder residue. There's nothing here."

Stahl glares at us, sitting grouped around the picnic tables, finally permitted to eat the sandwiches that had been in the car since Donna and I had arrived back with them.

"They're hiding it." Her voice bounces off the walls "I know they are. You must have missed something."

Josh lifts an eyebrow at her "We've spent the last five hours taking every single car part out of the box they were in, every tire has been checked inside, all the beds have been checked, draws have been checked for fake bottoms, the fridge was emptied. There's nothing here."

Stahl stomps to her car barely looking at us as she says "You're free to go about your normal business." Before anyone can say anything else she's gone in a over-revving retreat, the slight smell of burnt clutch lingering in the air behind her.

Josh turns to the rest of the agents "Pack it up."

Coming to my side he keeps his back to the crowd of agents loading testing kits into the back of the SUV's along with a couple of boxes of unused evidence bags "So you've dodged this bullet. I'm not going to be able to keep passing warnings to you Sarah so keep your noses clean. I'll try and let you know what's going on when I can."

I nod once, keeping my mouth closed.

We all sit in relative silence while the black SUV's retreat from the lot, there's a minute of silence after the last one leaves before Clay stands up "Anyone who isn't a Patch, an Old Lady or a prospect can go, we'll call this a useless day." The mechanics leave the group of people that had been sitting "Everyone else, inside."

Lyla frowns in confusion but stands up and follows Miles through the door, pausing at the door to the inner sanctum she looks even more confused till Clay chuckles "While you're here you can give us an update on how the girls are doing at the house."

Lyla pales at the fact she's just been dropped into debriefing all the members about one of their major income sources. Grabbing my hand she squeezes tightly, seeming to find something in a second to divert our attention to "Has anyone seen Cherry?"

Help: Do I have Cherry with the same issue as Canon (married/arsonist/dog napper?)


	41. Chapter 41

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Lyla's words make each of us turn around and look at the person standing beside us, our attention turning to Kip in the end who shrugs "Not since this morning when she left for work."

Donna frowns "We saw her at the store this morning, she was going to do a quick information pass to the part timers then be on her way. She should have been here not long after us."

Lyla, Cam, Al, Donna and I turn and leave the Chapel to make a start on cleaning up after a quick phone call to Neeta to check on the kids, the guys all slip back into their conversation, Kip looking worried as the door closes.

There's no movement at all from their inner sanctum for over an hour, by the time they come out the five of us have the main room of the clubhouse almost back to normal, the chairs and tables which had been overturned are back on their feet, the pool cues are back on the rack, and the balls back on the table. The four cues which had been snapped have been put in the pile of rubbish along with a huge bucket of broken glass, all the liquor bottles have been replaced with fresh ones and the kitchen has been cleaned, the only thing left to do is reframe and rehang the mug shots on the wall, all of which had been pulled from their frames.

Clay looks around the room "Looks good girls."

Al shakes her head "The dorms are a bombsight."

Clay glances down the hall "Guess we're going to be closed again tomorrow. Better let boss lady know."

Donna laughs "She already knows, she spent the time you guys were in there ringing customers and putting their appointments back by 2 days. We have tomorrow and Thursday to clean up but then it's back to business Friday, ready or not."

One car and two bikes pull into the driveway of the house within a few minutes of each other, Opie and Jax heading towards the games room while Donna follows me up the stairs, Neeta is sitting in the twins room with Keri and Trinity on the floor at her feet, the three infants in their arms while Ellie and Kenny play with Abel on a mat in the corner. Abel's the first to spot us, his arms waving for a second before he crawls towards me and lifts his arms till I pick him up.

Neeta lifts an eyebrow "You two okay, you look a little tired."

I tickle Abel's stomach "Long day. How have they all been?"

After a debrief of how the kids behaved, including the fight that Kenny and Ellie had over a green crayon the entire group of us head back down the stairs, the girls going into the living room, the sound of music floating out of the door a few seconds later.

Donna and Neeta both sit at the table once the kids are settled in seats, or in the case of the infant twins in their rockers on the floor. "What are you doing for dinner Mom." Donna asks with a grin.

"After today, pizza I'm not cooking."

Donna laughs as I bring a bottle of wine to the table "It was that sort of day wasn't it." Pouring a glass for myself and one for Neeta Donna refuses even the smallest amount "I'm still breast feeding."

I sigh for a second before picking up my glass and swallowing a mouthful of it "I know D. Peg did say a glass was okay."

Donna shakes her head "Nope, none at all."

Jerking an eyebrow I smile at her "Oh well, more for me."

Donna laughs, pointedly looking at the kids "Like you'll have more than a glass with three children to look after."

I sigh "You're right. So, pizza toppings."

Neeta is convinced to stay with us for dinner and while the older girls complain about not being able to take their dinner into the living room when a blob of sauce falls from Trinity's slice onto her leg she rolls her eyes but refuses to admit I'm right.

Looking around the table Opie catches my eye and cocks his head to the side "You okay?"

I smile at him and nod "Yeah."

Snorting he mutters quietly enough that only I hear him "Bullshit, but you will be."

While I finish my pizza, occasionally passing something to Abel, a carrot stick first then a piece of cucumber, the piece of garlic bread that I bite in half he seems interested in, turning it into a soggy mess on his hands.

Neeta leaves just after dinner, protesting slightly when I tell her that she'll be paid extra for the day, having had six children not four as normal. Her protesting of the older girls being no big deal, and the older set of twins being at pre-school for most of the day is ignored when Donna shuffles her towards her car, telling her that she'll be busy enough over the next two days to accept the extra without protests.

When she comes back inside she flops onto the couch beside me, curling her feet under herself "Do we need to make a list of the rooms to clean?"

I snort and kick one foot into her lap "No we don't cause it's everything."

Trinity and Kerianne are quiet at the other end of the room, until Trin turns around "Luann said that my room will be ready in two days. Do I have to go then or can I stay here till Keri moves too?" 

I look over at her, then at Donna, then back to her with a half-smile "I'll have to talk to your dads, and Jax too. But I'll let you know tomorrow, okay?"

The girls both nod, turning back to the TV and unmuting the music video that had been playing. Donna and I share another look, shaking our heads as she whispers "What happened to decent music."

I shrug, laughing as the door cracks opens and Opie sticks his head in "Ready to go?"

Donna gets to her feet, tapping her twins on the shoulder "Daddy's going to put you in the car while I get your sister."

I follow her out of the living room, letting the door close on the music "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

I don't hear her reply but when the front door closes again I hear the living room door open again and Jax's voice drifts to me "Don't be out of bed to late girls. Your fathers would not be pleased." Then he lowers his voice, but still not quiet soft enough "And my wife would kill me."

Biting my lip to not laugh at him as he crosses the kitchen I turn just before he reaches me "Thanks for that."

"For what?"

"Telling the girls not to be late."

Jax laughs and pulls me to his check "I do have an alternative motive of course."

Lifting my eyebrow he smirks "I ran us a bath, you need to relax and we need to talk about Stahl and why her reaction was so over the top towards you."


	42. Chapter 42

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

Two things then on with the chapter.

I promise that the conversation between Sarah and Jax is coming. I have written it already, well most of it. Also, sorry for the massive break between chapters, I pride myself in normally getting one out a week but I've changed shifts at work and it's killing me working nights, I'm not sleeping and when I do get to sleep it's not very restful so my brain is not cohesive with writing. That being said, I did get a bit done today.

I wait till we're both neck deep in the hot water to answer "I have no idea why she flipped out. I would have thought she could control herself better, it's not like I said much, or did anything."

Jax frowns "Do you think you'll be able ask Kohn what her issue is?"

"I can try. I'm surprised that they haven't already found his connection to Cam though." I pause for a second "Or I wonder if they did and he's playing us."

Jax blinks, a few drops of water sliding down his face "Do you think that's possible?"

I shrug, the water surging as I move to hit the button for the jets "I wouldn't have thought so, Derek is the reason he's where he is now, Cam's the reason he's got his wife. But I guess anything is possible. What do we do?"

Jax smiles and reaches across the separation squeezing my hand "We listen to anything he has to say and then decide how serious to take it."

"I'd stop Juice running the checks on Josh pre-ATF days; Cam has access to all of them, get him checking on Stahl's history instead."

Jax reaches for his phone which is on the shelf beside the baby monitor and my phone, only stopping when I grab his hand and pull him backwards, a wave of water sloshing over the edge of the bath "I didn't mean now. Tomorrow will be fine."

"You think Cam will let us have access to their files?"

I nod "Sure she will. If ATF comes up with something that goes against the club there is no way that Hap will sit by and let his brothers go to jail while he stays free, Cam knows that and she'll protect him with everything she has, and by extension she'll protect the Club with everything she has."

Lifting an eyebrow at me Jax says "Really?"

I nod "Yep. Just like you know I'll do anything I can to protect those I love. My children, my husband, my family, the club."

Jax leans back into the water, the flow of the jets moving the water over his shoulders "I know. We all would."

Jax's words make me pause for a second before I reply "Are you sure you know that. It sometimes feels like you think I'm going somewhere." My words are quiet, very thoughtful and weighed carefully before I say them.

Jax twists so he's looking at me, his legs folding over the slight barrier between the two halves of the bath "That's probably cause sometimes you seem like you're not really here."

I feel a wash of irritation and I know my words are semi-challenging when I reply "That's cause I'm trying to raise three children and keep two businesses running."

Jax sighs but meets my eyes "And I'm trying to keep my brothers from behind bars, my Club surviving. Mostly I'm trying to keep my family happy, but I feel like I'm failing miserably."

It's not the words that he says that strike me, but the way that he says them, the almost depressing tone coupled with him rubbing his hand over his face, tugging on his goatee make me realise how much he's struggling with things he's never verbalised.

Sitting back in the bath I snicker mentally and grab his foot, pulling it till he slips across the base of the bath, a huge wave of water flowing over the side. Looking at me with wide eyes I lose capability of containing my laughter, a giggle erupting through my lips.

"I know it hasn't been easy baby." I say to him, squeezing his toes "But as much as it seems like it's never ending things are slowing down and settling back into normality, well as normal as it gets around here."

Jax laughs, pulling his foot from my hand "So tell me what I can do to help you."

"I'm fine."

Jax lifts his eyes to look at me "No you're not and I can't..."

Jax stops speaking as his phone rings. Drying his hand he picks it up "Sack, what's up?"

He's silent for several long seconds, his eyes moving to mine before he starts frowning "And you haven't seen her since? Hang on."

Before he even opens his mouth I'm answering the question I know he's going to ask "I haven't seen Cherry since this morning when I left to come back to TM. She was at the store, I'll go ring Lyla and find out who was coming in then I'll ring them."

Standing up I ignore the muffled groan that comes from Jax's mouth as I step out of the bath, wrapping myself in my towel I grab my phone, dialling Lyla's number as I leave and head towards the office where the contact details of all the part timers are kept.

Three phone calls later Jax is standing in the door, a towel slung around his hips "Any luck?"

I shake my head, dropping my phone onto the desk "Nope. Neither of the girls saw her after she left, and Jerry, who they called in when it go too busy, hasn't seen her since last week."

Jax's frown deepens as he crosses the room, dropping into a crouch beside my chair "We're going to go looking for her, not having a car means she can't have gotten far."

I nod wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly, resting my chin on his damp shoulder "Be careful and keep me updated."

Jax chuckles, kissing my cheek "I will babe. Bath's still hot if you want to get back in it." 

I shake my head as he gets up, grabbing his towel and getting to my feet behind him "I'm better off busy if you're not here and Cherry's missing."

Jax turns, ignoring the fact his towel works its way loose and ends up in my hand "She'll be fine. We'll find her."

I smile at him, kissing him slowly "I'll be up here when you get home."

Jax walks towards the door, pausing in the doorway and looking over his shoulder "I might need my towel."

I giggle and follow him "I know I was just enjoying the view, even if the girls won't."

"They're still watching TV." Jax replies, nodding towards the stairs where the sound of music is still faintly coming through the gap in the living room door.

"First, dried. Second, dressed. Third, tell them off and send them to bed." I mutter, handing him his towel as I step past into the hall.


	43. Chapter 43

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

Jax rings me four times through the course of the night, each time telling me a version of the same thing, there's no sign of a struggle and none of her things have gone, but they can't find her. He eventually comes home sometime around the 3am feeding for the twins, asleep almost before he hits the pillow.

4 hours later I'm up, dressed and downstairs with all three kids downstairs when the phone rings, snatching it from its cradle before the ringing of the unit in the master bedroom can wake my sleeping husband I glare at it for a second before answering. "Hello?"

"Morning pumpkin. Jax up?"

I snort "No Uncle Clay he's not. He's been asleep for about 4 hours. Do you need him?"

"We found Cherry." He says, the short sentences not giving me enough of a chance to pick up if there are problems or everything is fine.

"Is she okay? What happened? Where is she?" I pause for a second "Is she going to be at work today?" I silently thank the powers that be that when we'd been told about the raid I arranged for her to be off this morning.

Clay sighs "No. Tell you later. With Unser. No."

"What happened?" I ask as I sit down at the seat between the twins in their rockers, picking up Abel's spoon again.

"Tell you when you get to TM."

I sigh "Okay, I'll get Jax up in another hour then we'll be at the lot at 9ish. I'm bringing the terrors in."

"Thanks pumpkin. Your terrors can keep us entertained."

I laugh "Not my terrors, Otto and Chibs' terrors."

"No!" Clay says with a chuckle "At least bring in a reward for dealing with them."

Rolling my eyes I glance through the door into the storage room "I still have 2 tubs of cookies left, I'll bring them in."

Clay agrees, almost sounding happy, and hangs up. Looking down at the twins in their bouncers I shake my head in annoyance.

Abel's dishes are just being rinsed when the door opens, Jax coming through looking exhausted, his hair damp "What are you doing up?" I ask as he heads to the coffee machine, pouring a mugful.

"Phone woke me up. Who was it?"

"Clay. Once D and Neeta are both here we've got to head to TM."

Jax frowns, his eyebrows pulling together "And he rang to tell you that, old man's getting senile, you already knew."

I chuckle as I cross the kitchen, wrapping my arms around Jax's middle "They found Cherry, but he wouldn't tell me anything. Bacon and eggs or pancakes and bacon?"

"Pancakes." A voice says from the door at the same time as Jax says "Eggs."

Rolling my eyes I look at Trinity and Keri, standing in the doorway "You two can help me then. And we're going to TM today; you're both going to be expected to help. No arguments."

Trinity opens her mouth to protest "But we were going to finish watching Merlin."

I fasten my eyes on her "I beg your pardon?"

Trinity swallows "I mean Aunt S we were going to stay here and finish catching up on a TV show we've both missed."

I flick my gaze to Jax who's tensed beside me, shaking my head a fraction I look back at the two of them "Neither of you have many chores to do around here and both of you have been given pretty much free reign over the living room and TV access, however today you are both going to come to TM and help the clean-up that is currently underway there. _Provided_ that you both do everything you're asked without argument you _might_ be allowed to come with me this weekend when I go to Sacramento. And I happen to know _both_ of you wanted to come with me." I smile at them "Of course you can choose to stay here if you wish, but there will be no TV and there will be no internet access today. And there will certainly be no shopping trip this weekend. Now, Trin get me the flour from the pantry. Keri can I have the milk, eggs and butter from the fridge."

Jax chuckles lightly as he leans around me and refills his coffee cup "Bribery and corruption. I love it."

Smiling at him I kiss him on the cheek "Yep. Can you please unlock the front door and open the gates; Neeta should be here in about 20 minutes. D's due at 845 after she's dropped the kids at school."

After doing the two requested jobs Jax returns to the kitchen "I was going to ask about that. How come Neeta's here every day?"

Looking over at him while I supervise the girls making pancake batter I shrug "It seemed more logical her coming here and D bringing Rebecca over then me loading up three kids and taking them to Casa De Winston."

Jax shrugs as he swallows more coffee, moving to the table and watching the kids while Keri, Trin and I work and get breakfast cooked. After making the pancake batter I let the girls take over, pouring batter onto the griddle pan and flipping them, only barely stopping them from attempting to flip one using just the pan.

After a huge breakfast of bacon, eggs, pancakes and the hash browns I'd decided on at the last minute the girls are sent upstairs to dress.

Jax finishes wiping the table down, dropping the cloth in the sink and wrapping his arms around me "You going like that?"

I chuckle and shake my head "No, I'll go get dressed now, it's never worth getting clean clothes on before feeding the monkey."


	44. Chapter 44

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

I have to bite back a giggle when I get to TM. Al, Cam, Donna, Lyla and I have all ended up dressed fairly similarly, wearing older shirts and leggings, apart from Donna who's wearing a pair of long shorts. Gemma appears from the office, dressed as normal, a pair of jeans and a black dress shirt, top two buttons undone.

Crossing towards us she sighs as we all start walking towards the clubhouse "Bout time you all got here."

Exchanging a quick glance with the dark eyes of Al to one side I slide my arm through Gemma's "Well Grandma I had two infants, one toddler, two teenagers, one husband, a dog to feed and then I had to pack cookies into my car, along with the two teenagers and my oldest friend, who before arriving at my house had to feed one baby, two children and her husband."

Gemma squeezes her arm around mine "I know. Clay's been pacing in and out for the last 20 minutes looking for you." Opening the door she looks at Trinity "What am I going to do with you two?"

I smile at her and then at the girls "They can start cleaning the fridge." Looking at them they both grimace making me laugh, "Plug in your iPods and listen to music."

Juice looks up "I'll grab my docking station for you."

The girls open their mouths to protest until I whisper "Sacramento." The girls both snap their mouths closed so rapidly that I'm sure I hear Trinity's teeth clack.

The noise that comes from Gemma's mouth can't be described as anything but a giggle. Turning at looking at her she shrugs "You've got them both sorted in less time than anyone bet."

Frowning a little I stop and think before opening my mouth "You had a bet going as to how long it would take me to 'sort' these girls?" Gemma starts to protest but I shake my head "No. Gem I'm actually really disappointed that you of all people would bet on how long it would take me to 'sort' a pair of pre-teen girls."

Clay's chuckle from behind me breaks into my anger "I told you it was a bad idea Gem."

Smiling at Clay I cross to his side, sliding my arm around his waist "I know you wouldn't have had _anything_ to do with it, would you Uncle Clay?"

Looking down at me a smile crosses his face and he shakes his head "Of course not."

Snickering I back away from his side and open the notebook I'd pulled from his back pocket "And this wouldn't at all be the betting book would it?"

Clay swallows as I slide further away from his arms reach, his fingers grasping for the book in my fingers "Of course not pumpkin."

Flicking open the page I start laughing as he tries to reach across the table to snatch it out of my hand. Crossing the room while I flick through the pages quickly "Gee this got rich fast didn't it?"

No one answers my question, which is just as well as the anger at being the middle of a bet is still simmering just below the surface. "Every single son put in at least a thousand dollars."

I frown, looking down the page, adding up the bet amounts. "Looking at this it seems the only person who thought I'd do it this quickly was Otto. And it seems he'll get a tidy little amount from this. Betting on his child, at least Jax didn't put a bet on, he was sensible not to bet against his wife."

Tig's bark of laughter sounds from the hall "We wouldn't let him, he had the inside scoop."

Watching the flow of guys coming through the doors I spot Jax's glare from the corner of my eye "And I never tried. Did I?"

"No baby you didn't." Gemma says, sticking up for her son.

Finally spotting the person I was looking for I step quietly over to his side, the whole room going quiet. "Otto, dear Uncle Otto." I bite a giggle back when he swallows harshly, his Adams apple bobbing.

"Yes my darling niece, what can I help you with?"

I smile sweetly at him "You won the bet as to how long it would take me to get the girls 'sorted' but because you bet on your child, and your niece, and the child of one of your brothers you have to forfeit ¾ of what you won."

Otto widens his eyes and starts shaking his head before he glances over my shoulder and see's Trinity's expression. "Let me guess, a quarter each?"

I nod "Yep. I'm taking the girls shopping this weekend, and you're funding the trip." 

Chibs leans over the bar, a cup of coffee in his hands and a grin on his face "They better keep some of that money." Looking at Keri he smiles "You can use some of it to buy stuff for your room when we move in."

She nods a huge grin showing up on her face.

"So you've got a date?" Ope asks, as Clay starts trying to usher us towards the huge double doors.

Chibs nods "Three weeks. You okay with her for that long?" The question is aimed at Jax but she shrugs and gestures to me.

"Ask her, she's the one with two terrors underfoot every day."

I poke my tongue out at him, pulling Keri and Trin both to my sides "They're fine; Trin's move is this weekend so that's one less. But neither of them are terrors Jackson Teller."

Jax laughs, hugging all three of us "I know, but I think if we don't get those two cleaning and us through those doors Clay's gonna have a coronary."

Clay laughs, pulling out the cell phone box and a cigar "None of that."

Juice appears from deep within the recesses of his corner "I found it!" Handing the docking station to the girls he's the first to drop his phone in the box and cross the threshold, dropping into his seat like we hadn't been killing time waiting for him.

Filing through the door all old ladies end up seated in the laps of their assorted Sons, apart from Gemma who sits down in the spare chair, refusing the offer of Clays knee, something I can hear Ope and Jax both sigh in relief about.

Clay lights his cigar while cigarettes are also pulled out and lit around the table, the extractor fan Gemma had installed working to pull the smoke out. Tig does his standard circuit around the room with the bug detector, having found five in the single room right after the raid they were being doubly cautious, making the fans noise an added bonus.

"Clear boss." Tig says, finally sitting down.

Clay nods once, his eyes flicking around the table, stopping on Kip at the end "So Cherry had a few secrets."


	45. Chapter 45

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

"First secret, her name." Clay snorts picking up a bit of paper "wasn't Cherry, though I don't think any of us believed that. Real name, Rita Manning. Born in Idaho." Glancing over at Juice he tosses the page to him "Name, DOB and Social are on there, run a full bio."

Cam leans across the table, pulling the page away from Juice "I'll get Daddy to do it. Completely off the books and away from all records." She says quickly "He'll dig up anything and everything on her, right down to shoe size and what she ate for breakfast four years ago."

Clay and Happy exchange a long, loaded look before Clay nods "Okay. So what we do know, from the _now_ helpful Rita, who is in Unser's cellblock by the way."

Kip moves as if to stand up but the combined weight of Otto and Opie's hands landing on his shoulder still his movement "She's fine son." Clay says "But we got some shit to deal with before ATF finds out."

I sigh, leaning back into Jax's chest and waiting for the latest shit to pile down.

"So, turns out that she's got charges pending in Utah for arson, wilful destruction, theft and kidnapping, well dog napping actually."

Kip looks even more confused "And she's married." Clay finishes.

Kips back stiffens, his head shaking "She can't be. She woulda told me."

Clay narrows his eyes on one of the newest sons "Really? Did she tell you any of the other shit?" 

Kip deflates, shaking his head.

Clay looks over at me "She's gonna be gone from work until we can get this shit sorted, she's gotta go back to Utah to sort the mess she left behind. But I need you to go see her first, find out if we can recover from this connection or if it's gonna bite us in the ass. Unser will let you through."

I nod, standing up "I'll go now, be back in an hour."

Leaning back down to kiss Jax I ignore all the cat calls, grabbing Lyla by the hand as we leave "You're coming too. D, make sure those girls do what they're told. They can finish the kitchen when they're done with the fridge, I'll tell them."

Donna nods "Yes sir."

Pulling into the carpark at the police station Lyla looks over at me "Why me?"

I smile brightly at her as we get out of the car. Leaning against the bonnet I tap the metal beside me "I brought you for multiple reasons. You and Miles got together at the same time her and Kip did, but you guys are so much closer, you're more open. She needs to see that you were in that meeting, even if she'd been out of here she wouldn't have been. That full disclosure route you and Miles went was hard for him. Hard for you too I'd guess." She nods and I slide my arm through hers "Cherry, Rita, fuck! Cherry didn't want to know, means that her and Kip will never be as close as you and Miles, not till she accepts it all. She's not stupid, but until she gets the ink and info download from her Old Man she's always gonna be on the outside. Today is her final choice, she chooses to be all in, or she's out. Clay made that obvious."

Lyla lifts an eyebrow "How? I didn't hear that."

I shrug one shoulder "By sending me. If he wanted just information he could have sent you or D. If he wanted her gone he'd have sent Gem. I'm the middle ground. Her opportunity for full honesty is here, she takes it or she's gone."

Lyla's eyes widen and I chuckle "From town, not from the living."

Lyla laughs, swiping a hand across her forehead "Phew."

I giggle "But you do need to know, if she chooses the exit option she's as good as dead to the club, which means _everyone_ in a Reaper, or connected to someone who wears a Reaper. You included, you good with that?"

Lyla pauses to think about it for a few minutes, the sounds of normalcy passing till she finally nods "Yeah I am. Well I mean I'm not okay with it. But if I have to choose between her and Miles then it's a no brainer. When you through in all the sisters I've ended up with the scales are so far tipped out of her favour there's no balancing."

I grin at her, pulling away from the car "Good, now let's get this over with."

Pulling open the doors Lyla follows me through the police station, having not been there yet I head straight for Wayne's office, knocking softly I pause until he calls "Come in."

Opening the door I laugh, waving my hand in the air "Geeze, crack a window before lighting up man. You're meant to be law enforcement."

Wayne laughs, sliding the baggie into his draw and locking it "I told you, it's for my cancer. You here to see Rita?"

I nod and he picks up his keys "I can't let her out, but I'll put you in there with her. That okay?"

I shake my head furiously "Not being locked in. No fucken way."

Wayne rests his hand on my forearm "Not locking the cells, all doors and gates will be unlocked."

I nod, slowing my breathing down; squeezing my fingernails into my palm till I calm down and the spots disappear from the corners of my eyes.

Opening the first door he makes a point of flicking the lock over and engaging it in the 'open' state. Following him through one gate and then another he gets into view of Cherry before she she's us "Can I go now?" She asks, till she sees us when she folds in on herself.

Wayne opens the door to her cell and points at her "You stay there; these two are coming in for a chat. You won't be disturbed. 30 minutes."

I nod "Shouldn't take that long. Thanks Wayne."

Wayne waves his hand "No problems. A plate of peanut butter cookies will be payment." 

I snicker and nod "Sure thing boss."

Wayne leaves, Lyla stands up and peers out the door nodding "He's gone, doors still open."

Turning to Cherry I grab her hand "Ohh chickie you are in so much trouble. Spill all those secrets. Now and I'll see if there is anything we can do to get you out of this mess."

Cherry swallows, her eyes tearing up a split second before she inhales a huge mouthful of air "I fucked up."

I nod "You did. Now we're going to try and fix it but you've gotta tell us it all, starting with how did Rita Manning from Idaho become Cherry Valentine from Nevada?"


	46. Chapter 46

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

Cherry sniffs, wiping her nose with her hand "I don't know how it got so out of hand, or where to start."

"The beginning." Lyla remarks, sitting down on my other side.

Cherry laughs softly "Guess that's as good as any place."

Inhaling a massive breath she lets it out slowly before folding her legs up and resting her head on her knees "It wasn't strange in my house to be paired off young. My sister was barely 18 when she got married, my brother was engaged at 16, he's 24 now and on his second wife already." She looks over at me and sighs "But that's nothing to do with me. I was 17 when I got engaged, 19 when I got married, my parents loved Trevor. I thought I did, I was convinced I did, until two days after we got back from our honeymoon." She snorts "He had been a perfect gentleman till then, as much as a 20 year old man can be. Two days after we got back I was at the hospital having tripped and hit a door." She snorts "I can't believe I told the doctors that."

I bite the inside of my lip while she picks at her fingernails "I was at the hospital three times in the first four weeks of our marriage. By the end of the first six months I knew the hospital staff by name, and they never moved my file further than the top draw in their filing cabinet. You know, the one they have for common visitors, accident prone kids, or people with illnesses. Our eight month of marriage I ended up back there twice, first time for a sprained wrist, second time for the same wrist, which was broken. At the end of the ninth month I loaded all my stuff into his car, including our dog, set fire to the condo and left. Rita Manning died that night, Cherry Valentine was born somewhere on Highway 70 between Utah and Nevada."

"You know there are charges against you?"

She nods "Yeah, Chief Unser gave me the rundown of them. What's going to happen?"

I shrug "My first suggestion would be talk to Wayne, let him know why you left. Don't confess to setting the condo on fire, arson's not taken lightly anywhere. What happened to the car and the dog?"

Cherry laughs "Car's in some storage lot in this place called Enoch. Though I haven't paid it in a few months, they may have seized and sold by now. The dog I left with a family who helped me in Beaver."

Lyla leans past me and pats her hand "Storage place details. Name of it, make, model of car and what name did you use when storing?"

"It's called store right, or store tight or something like that. The car's a 2000 VW Beetle. Stored under the name Samantha Newton."

Lyla bursts into laughter "Firstly what sort of _guy_ drives a Beetle? That's totally a chick car." It takes her a few seconds to get her laughter under control. "Sorry. We're going to see what we can do. But Cher, you need to pull your head out of your ass. You're close to losing this. All of it. S, Me, the Club. Kip."

Cherry snaps her head towards me, her eyes wide but I simply nod staying completely silent, seeing how Lyla's going to deal with Cherry.

Cherry sniffs "So what do I do?"

Lyla shrugs and looks at me "I'm not the one with any sort of pull, or experience here."

I sigh "What's going to happen is we're going to leave." Cherry starts to protest but I lift a hand "We're going to leave, I'm going to tell Wayne you need to speak to him. You're going to tell him how you were scared for your health and didn't want your family to face the embarrassment of a divorce. You're going to tell him you didn't know that the car wasn't in your name, but that you know where it is, if you can't get it you're happy to pay for the value of replacing it."

Cherry opens her mouth "I don't have that sort of money."

I lift my eyebrows "No, but I do. You'll be working for me for the next five years paying me back." Cherry nods and I continue "You're not going to say anything about the house burning down. You know _nothing_ about that. It was still standing when you left. You're going to tell Wayne you left the dog with a family who loved it immensely and it was happy. It was wasn't it?"

Cherry chuckles "Yes, she loved the place I left her. Cows, sheep, paddocks, river and four kids."

I nod once "Good. So first, talk to Unser. Second, you're going to have to get a divorce, regardless of what happens there with anything else. The first opportunity you have you can you file the papers. I'll ring and talk to Lowen about getting them drawn up when I leave. Third, you're going back to Utah to deal with the arson shit head on, regardless of what happens you're going to stay there till it's sorted out."

"Kip?"

I shrug "If he wants to go then he'll go. You're not going to ask, he'll have to offer." I sigh, my brain working through the list of things "Right, you're going to need airline tickets, hotel accommodation and transport. Wayne should have you out in a few hours, depending on how long it takes to talk through the abuse. You have to tell him _all _of it. Verbal, physical, emotional. Everything." I close my eyes and rub my hand over my arm "It's going to be hard for you Cherry, and I can't be there to hold your hand. My own skeletons won't let me."

"I'll stay." Lyla says "Tell Miles."

I nod and stand up "You need to think very long and very carefully about what you want right now. I'll do everything I can to help you out of the mess you've made, cause otherwise it's going to land on the Club and I will not have anything or_ anyone, _jeopardise the Sons and the future of my family."

Cherry nods "I love him."

I lean over, for a second channelling my inner Gemma "Then you better pull your fucken head out of your ass, deal with this shit, and Tell Him everything! I won't bail you out again. And God help you if there is anything else you're hiding." I pause as stand up straight "No kids hanging around, no other relationships?"

Cherry shakes her head, her eyes wide "Nothing else."

"Good." I turn on my heel and leave, pulling the solid wood door closed behind me I rest my head against the wall for a second before straightening my shoulders and knocking on Wayne's door again.

AN: I actually searched what was the most girlie car and a VW Beetle was fourth on the list, the others didn't look so feminine. I wanted a bit of light heartedness in this chapter, hopefully that accomplished that. After this chapter we've got one mid-June (in the timeline) and then we skip forward 3 weeks.


	47. Chapter 47

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

Remember, we're now in mid-June.

Donna peers through the office door "What are you doing?"

Looking up I shove my hand through my hair "I was updating the books for the business. Why?"

"Cause everyone is downstairs waiting for you."

I look at my watch and then back at her with wide eyes "I didn't realise I'd been here for an hour."

Lifting an eyebrow "Try three. Your watch stopped days ago. You went to get the battery replaced. Didn't you?"

I shake my head "I got side tracked."

Donna sighs, crossing to my side and sitting on the edge of the desk "You've been getting side tracked a bit lately. And wanna tell me what that lot is?" Gesturing towards the stack of boxes which has been growing in the corner of the room.

"It's umm. I don't remember." I say with a shrug "Stuff I've brought online."

Donna leans across me and pushes the button for the screen "We're going to talk about your compulsive shopping and how bad it's gotten, but right now you have a house full of people wanting to celebrate a very delayed Christmas, birthday for you, your husband and your son. Your mother-in-law has been cooking all day and we're all wondering what happened to you."

Pushing away from the desk I roll my eyes "I was right here, but okay okay. I'm done."

Donna frowns as we start down the stairs "You know you've had packages arriving every day since Jax got home." I nod and she slips her arm through mine "Do you think maybe you should talk to him instead of buying shit."

I narrow my eyes "What?"

"You're buying stuff and avoiding the fact that you and Jax haven't sat down and talked properly since he got out. It's a great avoidance technique, if I hadn't seen you doing it when he first went inside."

I know my steps get a little stiffer "It's a bit hard to talk to my husband when the day he got out I went into labour, then he was dragged to another country, add in the ATF raid, additional children staying in my house, now this shit with Cherry."

Donna drags me to a stop at the bottom step "You and Jax are a team S. I think you need to remind yourself of that. You just called this your house, excluding your husband."

"My house, our house, his house, the house. Red house, blue house, yellow house, purple house. You know what I mean D. I don't think I've had more than 24 hours with him before something interrupts. I can barely talk to him about the kids let alone anything else, but I don't see any problems, we're fine."

Donna snorts "Sure. Put on a happy face."

I'm not sure how many hours later it is that everyone starts leaving, all I know is that it's dark outside and there are eight kids sleeping upstairs when the Tig is the first to leave. Chibs and Otto both collect their sleepy girls, leaving at the same time, Luann taking both the girls in her car, their heads almost touching in the back of the Mercedes Otto had brought her for their wedding anniversary. Everyone else filing out behind them, leaving piles of Christmas wrapping paper from delayed presents on the living room floor, empty bottles and glasses on the tables and plates around the room.

Donna looks over at me with a tired smile "I'll be back in the morning to help clean up."

I shrug "Just stay, saves waking your kids up and I have an appointment with Peg tomorrow at 11."

Donna's eyebrows furrow "Okay."

Laughing I pat her hand "Just the kids 6 week check-up. But if you stay you can help me clean up."

Donna sighs, shaking her head "I want muffins for breakfast then."

After pulling a dozen frozen muffins out I finally walk tiredly up the stairs hearing Jax move around checking windows and doors. Tucking Doj under his blanket I push open our door and flop onto the bed with a huff of air.

Jax finds me there 10 minutes later, still lying fully dressed on top of the bed "Long day?"

Lifting my head I nod "But you were up before me with Caden."

Jax shrugs, opening the draw of his bedside table "I also went back to sleep." Sitting a box on my lap he smiles "Happy, belated, Valentine's day."

Looking down at the box I frown "You brought me chocolates?"

Jax shakes his head, a smirk crossing his features "Open it."

Picking up the heart shaped box the first thing that strikes me is it's really heavy for what should be chocolates. Undoing the ribbon I look at Jax once more before lifting the lid "Nothing is going to jump out at me?" He shakes his head and watches as I lift the lid free, instantly seeing why the box was heavy.

Instead of chocolates the bottom of the box is lined with white paper and then a sheet of plastic which rustles as I reach down, running my finger over the pale pink grip of the handgun in the box. "You brought me a gun?"

Jax nods, lifting it out and dropping the magazine into the box "It's a Smith and Wesson MP9. 17 round clip plus one in the chamber. Comes with some other grips as well, they're in the safe already. Weighs 24 ounces so it's light as." Looking at me he trails off for a minute "Ma told me that I was a dumbass leaving you unprotected here, but more, leaving you unable to protect the kids if anything happened. I'm hoping this will make you feel safer."

I start laughing, my soft giggle turning into an almost full blown laugh before Jax can say anything else. Falling back onto the bed I hear him huff "Well if you don't like it I'll see if Ma wants it."

I shake my head as I sit up "Baby it's not that I don't like it, I do. It's just one of the things on my list of stuff to do was talk to you about getting a gun for me. Seems Grandma got there first."

Jax smiles "So you like it?"

I nod, throwing my arms around his neck and kissing his cheek "Yes baby, I love it. But you still have to take me out one day."

Jax nuzzles his nose into my neck "I know and when you have five seconds that's not occupied by children, friends or businesses I will."

I snort and wiggle out of his grip as he tickles my neck with his goatee "I don't have friends baby, I have family, and they're yours too."

A little disappointed, on FFN chapter 44 had 215 readers and 3 reviews. 45 had 186 readers and 1 review. 46 had 154 readers and 1 review.

Picture of gun in box on Photobucket. It was done by Smith and Wesson as a breast cancer thing a few years back, so yes it does exist.  /webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/Product4_750001_750051_765717_-1_757781_757781_757781_ProductDisplayErrorView_Y


	48. Chapter 48

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

Donna helps me start cleaning the house in the morning, pushing me through the garage door at 1030 for my appointment at the hospital, the twins loaded into their carseats and ready to go "Tell me what happened when you get back. We'll finish here, the girls have been helping without too much protest."

I grin at her as I open the drivers' door "That's cause I held some of the stuff that was brought in Sacramento from them. They're earning it piece by piece."

Donna chuckles as I pull out of the driveway, her dark head disappearing back inside.

After a 20 minute battle to find a carpark I rush into Peg's office with only two minutes left of our allocated 15 minute appointment. Walking up to the desk I push my hair off my flushed face "I need to rebook my appointment." I tell her receptionist, moving the pushchair slowly to keep the twins silent "I was meant to be here 20 minutes ago, but someone closed half the car parking off."

I hear Peg laugh just before I turn around "They had a couple of carparks collapse through the asphalt, with cars in them. I'm free now so we'll have our appointment now. Sue would you mind getting me some coffee?"

Sue smiles at me "Next time you've got an appointment get here 20 minutes earlier, or give us a ring. I can always juggle things for you."

Peg pokes her shoulder "Coffee. And this should be Sarah's last appointment with these two."

Weight, measurements, feeding, sleeping, bodily functions are all discussed while Peg sips her coffee, the twins wiggling as they're stripped and placed onto the cold plastic scales. Putting Bailey back in the pushchair Peg turns her full attention to me "Gown's over there, we'll do your pre-natal check and then you're all done."

My eyes widen slightly and she laughs "I know, you were booked in for next week but I've got time, my 1130 gave birth last night."

After being poked and prodded she pats my knee "You're all good. Everything has healed perfectly and those two are right on schedule. Call me if you have any problems with either of them."

I nod and dress slowly, coming out from behind the curtain as she sits back down "It really has been a pleasure, and I hope you'll come back when you want more babies."

I snort "I've got three already, and a dog and husband that both take as much attention as one. Though Jax does want one more."

Peg shakes her head "He would. He missed it all. I thought he'd be here today?" 

"He's still trying to get back into the routine of being home, and he's been pulling 60-70 hour weeks at work." I don't mention that only 30 hours of those are actually at TM, the rest of his time lately has been split between Bluebird and the porn house.

Peg shakes her head "That's not good for either of you. You've got three young children and he just returned from an extended absence. You should be spending time together, not apart."

I roll my eyes towards the ceiling as I pick up the diaper bag "That's what everyone is telling me, honestly we're fine."

Peg just hums, handing me a couple of sheets of paperwork "All their test results to date. No sign of any sort of heart condition, no genetic anomalies. Everything with them is exactly as it should be but I thought you might like a copy."

I smile at her and walk around the desk, giving her a hug "Thank you."

Pulling into the garage at home I go into complete silence "Hello?"

There's no reply to my called greeting, walking through the house it doesn't take long to realise that there's no one home, Donna, Neeta and all four kids are missing, as is the dog. Taking the twins upstairs I settle them into their beds and go into the office, finishing the work I'd been trying to get finished for the last few days.

Closing the final document I glance down at my watch, realising again that I still haven't had the battery replaced in it. "It's right twice a day." I mutter to myself, walking across and checking on the twins, finding them both still sound asleep I sigh "Work out or house work?" I ask myself.

Two hours later I've finished a quick workout, fed the twins and read to them for a while before ending up carrying a pile of clean washing up the stairs. Sitting down on the floor in my wardrobe I start pulling things out and folding them, setting them in piles, folding one of the shirts I'd ordered for the business I set it down into my lap with a jerky movement, my mind loosing where I am and what I was doing, firing dozens of lines in front of my eyes, responsibilities, possibilities, images of the people I'm responsible for, and their lives, their futures and what they're relied on for.

Somewhere in the millions of scenarios in my brain I close my eyes and lean back, my mind becoming overwhelmed.

AN: Question Time: There will be a lemon coming up, do I have to edit the chapters to put the PG version on FFN and the x-rated on TWCS or are all readers happy to have the full chapter as originally written?


	49. Chapter 49

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

Long chapter…but well overdue.

I'm not sure how much later it is when a voice beside me breaks into my subconscious, the lack of feeling in everything from my hips to my ankles indicate that I've been sitting on the floor of my wardrobe for at least an hour.

"Can you say something? Anything? Please." Donna's voice is quiet; there is an odd tone that I can't place in her voice.

"Hmm." I feel detached from myself when I look at her.

"Oh that fuck for that!" She mutters, "I was about to call that psychiatrist of yours and demand she make a house call." She pauses "What's wrong? Jax rang and said you were in the wardrobe and wouldn't come out."

"I just realised how much I have to do, how many people are relying on me, how many decisions I make every day that affect other people." My breath starts coming in panting breaths, my vision blurring.

Donna lifts a hand "Go slow S."

I take a deep breath "I have two businesses that I'm in charge of, three children I'm raising, a house I'm keeping running, a pet to keep healthy, and a husband who needs to be kept in line." My voice raises a notch "A legacy to be the Queen of SAMCRO one day, two children who may or may not end up being third generation SAMCRO. Seven employees who are relying on me to keep my two businesses in profit so they can continue getting pay checks, a club who's only barely managed to avoid an ATF shit storm landing on them, one member and his girlfriend in another state because of the shit she caused and didn't deal with." My voice fades at the end, lack of oxygen making me stop speaking.

"That all seems to fall into one category honey. You have people relying on you?" I nod and she smiles "The only people that are relying on you are small and related to you. Your kids are the only people who aren't capable of looking after themselves."

"Doj can't look after himself, Jax can't look after himself." I snort "Jax can't even find his shoes some mornings, let alone anything else."

"I'll give you that your dog can't look after himself, but Jax is a big boy S. If you're doing things for him then you need to stop so he remembers that he's an adult too."

I blink at her blankly till she chuckles "You're doing too much for him. He's quite capable of making his own coffee, and food. He did it for years S. Everyone can see that you're doing shit for him that he can do, everyone can also see that despite your insisting that things are okay they're not. You and Jax haven't been the same since he went in."

"It's only been 7 weeks since he came home." I protest.

She lifts her eyebrows "Yes and 7 weeks after Ope got out we were back to normal, granted we had the ability to fuck each other's brains out from day one and you haven't."

My cheeks heat up further and Donna laughs "When you get the clearance I'm sure you'll disappear for a while and come back normal."

I shake my head "It's more than that. I just feel so disconnected from him."

Donna grips both my hands "Why?"

"Cause I feel like he abandoned me while I was pregnant. I can't talk to him about it cause I know it's irrational. He didn't have a choice about going inside but between what I know and what I feel there's this huge disjointed mess." Leaning forwards I drop my forehead into my hands "I don't know who I am. I don't know how to be wife, mother, Old Lady, aunt, sister, lover, friend, boss, business owner."

Donna shakes her head "You're over doing it again. Remember when we started our junior year and you decided you'd continue working in the library and working for Simon. Then you started volunteering at the hospital with Tara, thankfully that only lasted five minutes, but you replaced that with volunteering at the animal shelter. Then you joined those clubs and you found that you couldn't keep up with everything?" I nod and she smiles softly "You're doing it again. Concentrating on too much, giving away too much of yourself. In high school it took you getting sick and being in hospital for a week to realise you needed to step back. I don't want that happening again, but you're on that track."

"Neither do I." I reply "But what am I meant to do. I can't stop being anything I am."

Donna shakes her head "No you can't. What you can do is turn to that support group you've built around you. Where are you biggest problems?" Donna pauses "Actually no, don't answer that. Jax told me you've only been sleeping about four hours a night to get everything done, and that the bulk of your time spent is on business stuff so I'm going to issue an order, as your best friend, your sister and your 2nd in command. Find an accountant to do all the business finances then forget about them completely. You have Lyla running clothes and that guy running the food."

"Jerry." I provide absently. "He's been a god sent with everything that happened with Cherry."

Donna lifts her eyebrow "Not your problem, you helped her more than most people would have. Probably more than she deserved with how much she kept from not just Kip, but us all."

"She had her reasons D."

"She lied to us all S." Donna still sounds irritated; almost a month after the truth had come out.

"Cherry didn't tell anyone for the same reasons I didn't. She was ashamed of the fact she let herself be treated the way she was, and that she reacted like she did. She didn't want to admit that she set fire to her own house while her husband was at work. She didn't want to tell anyone that there was a warrant out for her arrest, and she wouldn't have if she hadn't seen the ATF at the garage."

Donna clears her throat "That's fine, but we're not talking about her. You helped her by paying for Patrick's services to get her off the charges that were brought against her and Lowen to push the divorce through as quickly as possible. You paid for air fares and hotel accommodation for both her and Kip so they could get it sorted out. You paid the overdue accounts to stop them from selling her husband's VW. What happens with her now is her business." Donna leans closer to me, her eyes holding a very bright fire "If she fucks up again she's going to have some major issues with me. Full disclosure works both ways."

"Kip hasn't gone that far yet D." I say softly "He knew she was hiding something. I'm not sure she's coming back from Utah." Leaning back onto the dressing table behind me I hoist my knees up and rest my chin on them "I'm not sure I want her too."

Donna lifts an eyebrow, complete confusion on her face.

I shrug "I know, I know, I've been the voice in her defence here but you're right. She lied to us all. I don't trust her, and if I don't trust her how am I meant to leave one of my businesses to her to run?"

Donna shakes her head "You don't. _If_ she comes back you have her working for Jerry. Have him doing the stuff she was doing. He already is. But we're still not dealing with what you've said."

"What?" I try to plead ignorance so she'll ignore my issues.

"You're doing too much. I was telling you you're heading for a crash and you diverted my attention, like you always do." She glares at me "Jax is going to make sure you find an accountant to take over all the business finances. You don't need to go to either store. You've said repeatedly that Lyla is perfect and the clothes shit is running at a bigger profit then you expected already, so leave her to do her job. You need a break from everything around here S. It's getting on top of you again." She pauses and blinks a few times "I don't want you running to avoid the problems again."

"Neither do I." A voice comes from behind me, startling me but making a smug smile cross Donna's face "That's why we're going to the cabin for the weekend."

I spin on my behind, pins and needles rushing down my legs "I can't. The kids."

Jax shakes his head from where he was sitting on my dressing table "We're going tomorrow afternoon for two nights. Neeta is going to be staying here. Ma is around, so are Cam and Al, and D is there as well. You need a break. And we need to talk about all those issues."

I narrow my eyes "How long were you listening?"

Jax lifts a hand to his face, rubbing his goatee before locking his eyes on me "That's how out of it you are, I never left the room babe, not even when I rang D."

My eyes widen as I look between the two of them. Donna nods while Jax continues to look worried until I nod once "Okay."

Jax allows me an hour after arriving at the cabin to settle back in, opening windows and unpacking the food before he grabs my hand and pulls me outside, sitting down on one of the logs around the pit that Miles, Kip and Juice had been tasked with digging at some stage.

Keeping hold of my hand he sits beside me and pulls me into his side "I'm not sure how to start really but I'd rather get this over with now if you're going to scream at me." He says, sounding uncertain. "I know there are issues, and I know we need to deal with them before we have bigger issues but I'm not sure where they stem from, or how to fix them."

I shrug, staring at the blacked lumps of burnt wood in the bottom of the pit "Everyone keeps telling me we've got issues and that we need to talk, but I don't know that we do."

Jax snorts "A blind man can see there's issues babe. Telling me you can't see them doesn't make a difference in that they're there, and you do know."

I feel my eyebrows knit together "But I don't." I protest "Gemma said there's issues, but she's seeing them cause she's feeling unneeded, which is rubbish. Donna and Opie both think that there are issues, but neither of them have given me any idea of what issues there may be. I'm sure that all your brothers have said there's something that we need to talk about but none of them are being helpful at all in what these so called issues are."

Jax takes a deep breath and reaches to his side, picking up a bottle from the cooler he brought down, opening the bottle he hands it to me before pulling a beer for himself and opening it, completely in silence. "That's what I mean. There are issues; why else would you be so wound up?"

"I'm not."

Jax laughs, a non-humorous sound "You're not wound up?" I shake my head and he gestures towards me with the bottom of his bottle "Then why are you pacing?"

Looking down I realise that I'm on my feet. Crossing back to my seat I sit back down, my drink hanging from my fingertips "So tell me, you see these problems?" Jax nods and I lean back "Where do you think they're coming from?"

Jax pretty much drains his beer before looking at me "You've been overreacting about everything since I went inside."

I lift an eyebrow and I know that it's set in a challenging way. Jax swallows the last mouthful of his beer, sets the bottle down and looks at me, with a hard swallow and a sigh like he's heading to the firing squad. "You worked yourself almost to the point of exhaustion several times while I was inside with everything you did then didn't want a word of it when everyone, Clay included, told you to slow down. You had at least two arguments with Ma about my welcome home party, without giving her any reasons for the issues you had. I mean, for fucks sake, you argued with her over the colour of the napkins. You literally ripped strips of Happy the day that I was released, and then me that night. You panicked about looking after the kids, and worried that you wouldn't be able to do it, even though you'd been looking after Abel for almost a year by then. You had a huge bought of insanity and ordered me to stay away from you, my wife and the love of my life while you gave birth to my children."

Jax stops talking and takes a few breaths, watching me but my expression is very carefully blanked "You then ripped strips off me while in labour, but became very clingy after their birth, for all of three days till you were back home. You both freaked out and then accepted me having to go to Belfast in a very short amount of time, and tried to tell me I could use the 'what happens on the road stays on the road' deal. Which by now you should _know_ is never going to happen. When I got back you barely said five words to me, in fact I think this is the longest conversation we've had since I got back. Then you threw all your energy into helping Cherry, which you're still doing _while_ running the businesses, keeping the house kids happy and healthy, going to all their appointments alone." He pauses "I'm still annoyed you didn't tell me about your last appointment with Peg. I wanted to be there."

He shakes his head "But I'm going to let go of that, you're doing too much and it's driving us apart babe. And I hate it."

Jax's voice sounds heartbroken and looking over at him I think through everything that he's said and bite back on my initial reaction of dismissal and denial. "Okay, so maybe I've been doing too much." Jax snorts and I lift an eyebrow at him "But I got used to doing it all while you were inside. That was seven months when I had to do it all myself, and then you were back, the twins were here, and you were gone again. I'm still doing it all cause I don't know if you're going somewhere again. I never know if you're leaving."

"I never know if your mom is going to ring and need something, or Clay, or any other one of SAMCRO. I never know when you're going to have to go for something to do with another charter. I never know when BV is going to call your attention, like it did four times last week. I'm trying to hold myself together cause if I stop doing everything I'm afraid I'm going to fall apart." I sigh and Jax reaches over and grabs my hands. Looking up at him I smile softly "D told you what those first days after you going inside were like?" Jax nods and I shrug "I don't want to be like that again, I can't." I snicker in a self-depreciating way "I don't have time to be like that."

Jax closes his eyes for a second, his thumb stroking a slow rhythm across the back of my knuckles "Babe that's what I'm trying to get you to understand. You do have time for all of that. If you have a day when you want to fall apart, it's okay. If you have a day when you want to do nothing, it's okay. If you have a day when you wake up and decide that you want to go to San Francisco, or Sacramento, or LA, it's okay. You can. You're not doing it alone, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."

My eyes lock on his for several minutes "How can you guarantee me of that?"

Jax smiles, his eyes crinkling "Cause Clay has taken me off the run list for at least the next 2 years. Apparently having three children to raise and four businesses in town to run was enough for all the guys to demand it." He chuckles "I had nothing to do with it; Ope brought it up to Otto who went to Clay. First I found out about it was when it was being put to a vote Tuesday." He squeezes my hand "It passed unanimously. Unless it's something beyond all control I'm not leaving town in a hurry."

My body is moving before I can blink, throwing my arms around him I burst into tears as my face burrows into his neck. He laughs as we both fall backwards onto the dirt, a pile of dust lifting around us "I meant it babe, I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."

Lying in the dirt with my husband's hand running up and down my back I allow the tears to flow freely down my face "I guess I needed you to tell me that I matter." Sniffing I pull back so I can look at his eyes "Since you went inside I've felt like I was an afterthought, a convenient house keeper, a body to keep you warm at night and someone to raise your kids."

Jax stiffens, his hand stilling on my spine "I obviously didn't do a good enough job of showing you how much you mean to me. You're everything Sarah. My thoughts, hopes, dreams, desires, love. I've told you before but everything I do is for you, every decision I make is for your benefit, you and our kids."

Shuffling around till we're both on our feet he strokes his thumbs across my cheeks, wiping away the tears that are dampening my skin "I love you, I will always love you."

Leaning up to kiss him I smile against his lips, what feels like my first genuine smile in almost a year "I love you too baby. I'm so sorry."

Jax shakes his head, kissing my on the forehead and then each flushed cheek before pressing several slow kisses on my mouth "Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry for, we both fucked up by not talking to each other. That's not going to happen again. With all this free time you'll now have we're going to make sure once a week we have time for us, even if it's only 30 minutes where we lock ourselves in the games room."

I nod, wiggling closer to his body again, resting my hot cheek on his shirt "We should go get cleaned up, we're both all dusty."

Jax pats my back lightly and chuckles at the dust cloud that emerges "Yes we are. Then food, cause I'm starving and I saw bacon."

AN: Hope this chapter fills all those needs for a conversation between them.


	50. Chapter 50

CHAPTER FIFTY

Short…but leads up to next chapter nicely I thought.

I push Jax towards the shower first, heading into the kitchen to sort out the food he'd requested, it doesn't take long to have everything sorted for BLT's, the ciabatta bread left to warm on the back of the oven while the bacon cooks.

Bumping into him as he comes out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel he grins "Smells good."

I roll my eyes "It's bacon, it's always good. Everything's better with bacon."

Jax laughs "Chocolate?"

I shudder "Okay, maybe not everything. It'll be ready when I get out of the shower."

Jax nods, letting me past and swinging his hand at my behind, chuckling as I dart out of his range "Hurry up then, I'm fading away."

Poking my tongue out at him I close the door "Sure you are. Didn't I have to buy you a bigger size jeans last time?"

Stepping under the spray of the showerhead I let the water hit my shoulders while I think, my thoughts drifting between my conversation with Donna and Jax and the one I'd been told about after Jax interviewed the two accountants in town, the seriousness of his demand about me loosening some of the reigns shown when he'd contracted one of them before the end of the day to do the books for both businesses, informing him to only contact us when it was an absolute last resort. In addition to that Jerry had been given more responsibility, and a 5% pay rise, to go along with being labelled the manager of the store, Lyla had willingly accepted the title, refused the pay rise and asked for a parking space instead. Jax had told me when it was already sorted and in place, ignoring my stuttered protests with a smirk.

Finishing my shower as quickly as possible while still washing the dust from my hair I can hear Jax in the kitchen when I get out of the bathroom "That bacon pan will be hot. Don't burn your fingers."

Jax pokes his head into the hall a few seconds later "Busted. I think it's done, looks good too."

Shaking my head "Can't wait for food can you. Get it out of the oven then. I'll be a few minutes, can you wait that long?"

Jax nods, sticking his bottom lip out in a pout that makes me giggle "I won't be long."

Shoving my arm into my bag I search around till a brush of silk touches my fingers. Pulling out the pale purple material I look at it for what feels like a long time before shrugging and dropping it on the top of my bag.

Throwing a pair of jeans and one of Jax's button up shirts on to cover myself I head into the kitchen bursting into laughter again.

Jax looks over his shoulder "Okay so I don't know what the fuck I'm doing."

I continue to laugh while I push him out of the way "First you're using a carving knife to cut tomatoes, a bread knife works so much better. Why don't you get the mayo and relish out of the fridge."

Between the two of us, with me doing most of the work, we're soon sitting on the sofa with a BLT each, a pack of salsa Doritos between us on the couch crinkling every time one of us sticks our hands into the bag.

Jax's plate is empty long before mine, in the end I hand almost a third of my sandwich to him, rubbing my stomach "That was good."

Jax shoves another huge bite in his mouth, grinning hugely as he nods, finishing his sandwich then burping loudly.

"Eww." I grimace at him, making him laugh and mutter an apology.

Picking up both plates and the half empty bag I wave it at him "You done?"

He nods passing his 2nd empty beer bottle over as well "Another?"

He shakes his head, leaning back on the couch "I'm good thanks babe."

Dropping the dishes in the sink I lean against the bench for a second, my hands flat on the countertop watching the ripples in the lake outside the window, my heart beating hard in my chest.

Making a decision my fingers dart over the buttons on Jax's shirt, the zipper and button on my jeans following. Before I can shed either item of clothing Jax's voice calls from the living room "You okay Sarah?"

"Yep I'm fine. Be in soon, just rinsing the plates and putting the leftover bacon in the fridge."

Jax chuckles "And eating more of it."

"Noooo." I reply, dropping the piece back on the plate and putting the whole thing in the fridge. Taking a deep breath I push my off my hips and let them fall to the ground.

Stepping back into the living room I hear Jax swallow before his eyes widen "I got covered in water as usual."

Jax is across the wooden floor before I can move further "You're pushing past my limits babe."

Desire burns through his eyes as they cover my body from my feet to my head, by the time his eyes meet mine again there's a smirk crossing my lips "So if I told you Peg cleared me for all activities it'd be a good thing?"

Jax's eyes lock on mine, question and lust battling till I nod once and the lust blazes through in the fraction of a second it takes for him to lift his hands to the side of my head. Using my hair as leverage he pulls me as close to him as possible, his lips brushing mine "I love you."

I grin at him "I know, now take me to bed."


	51. Chapter 51

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

X-Rated Chapter

The words are barely out of my mouth when Jax bends down, lifting me over his shoulder "As you command."

Stopping at the doorway of the bedroom he sets me on my feet, sliding his hands up my arms he cups them around my face "You have no idea how much I love you."

Pushing myself onto my tip toes I press my lips to his, my tongue sliding out and brushing across his.

He groans low in his throat, his arms tightening around my waist "You're making me feel like it's my first time again."

Pulling back so I can look at his face watching the battle he's having with himself "So let go."

Shaking his head he scoops me up into his arms, my arm going around his neck "Babe I may be good at lasting now but I wasn't then."

Snickering at him I burrow my face into the side of his neck "So it was all over rover in seconds?"

Jax growls dropping me onto the bed which makes the springs creak loudly "Maybe not seconds, but I want you to enjoy this as much as I know I will."

I move to get off the bed but he holds up his hand "No, you stay there. I want to look at you." His eyes stay locked on me while he sheds his clothes, only vanishing as he pulls his white t-shirt over his head, it dropped to the floor with the rest of his clothes behind him. Kicking off his shoes his pants are dropped on top of them, his boxers staying hanging low on his hips, the obvious evidence of his arousal pushing the front of the material out.

Grabbing hold of one of my feet Jax sits at the end of the bed, rubbing circles on the sole of my foot before chuckling at himself "I'm trying to be patient and slow but I actually don't think I can be."

Moving quickly on the bed I end up on my knees at his side, pulling the purple negligee over my head I drop it on the floor and pull his head so he's looking at me "Then don't be. We've got all weekend for slow, but baby I need you as much as you need me. Please just love me."

Jax smiles, a slow genuine smile that I haven't seen anywhere near as much as I would have liked, his eyes crinkle in the corner as his tongue darts out and wets his bottom lip "I intend on doing just that for the rest of my life."

With a sudden movement I'm flat on my back in the middle of the bed, his head hovering over mine, his exhalations brushing over my eyelashes. Leaning down he closes the last inch of gap between us, his lips ghosting across my forehead, my eyelids, my cheeks, the tip of my nose before landing on my lips, his tongue parting my lips and sliding into my mouth with an exhaled sigh.

Jax's hand lands on my hip, a hand span of heat that burns through my skin as he trails it up the side of my body, his palm lifting so his fingertips are barely brushing my skin as he moves it across my ribcage, his palm curling under the bottom of my breast while his fingers curl around the sides.

Lifting my hands I bury one into his hair, holding his head in place the other settling on his back, between his shoulder blades.

My breath is coming in panting gasps when he pulls back, his expression satisfied until he looks down at me "You okay?"

I shake my head and take a few deep inhalations to catch my breath "I'm not going to break baby." 

Jax closes his eyes until I tug forcefully on his hair "You're treating me like I'm made of glass."

Rolling off me and onto his back he rubs his face with his hand "I don't want to rush anything."

Closing my eyes I push down the feeling of rejection while my brain presses fast forward I suck in a deep breath and reach over, pressing my hand deliberately on the top of his cloth covered erection "I'm not going to break. I may self-destruct though." Wiggling my hand under the waist band of his boxers he moves to help me push them off his legs till he's lying beside me, still mostly motionless.

Biting back on my sigh I lift myself onto my knees and move so I'm straddling his lap, my arms on either side of his head, my legs over his so my knees press against his hips "I obviously can't say it, so I guess I'll have to show you."

Moving up the bed slightly Jax's eyes widen in his face almost comically as I slide down his length, my body slowly stretching around his skin. Channelling my inner porn-star and hoping that I don't blush like a fire engine I lean down and whisper in his ear "I've been wet for you since before I had my shower."

I'm not sure if it's my words or the feeling of my naked skin pressed against him and around him for the first time in 8 months but the instant he is fully seated within my body my muscles spontaneously contract around him.

"Fuck." He mutters, using one arm to push himself into a sitting position the other wraps around my waist holding me still "I forgot how _tight _you are."

I snicker, watching as he closes his eyes thanking Peg for her list of pelvic exercises. The arm that's around my waist tightens as my body tightens with my giggle "You want me to love you, then I'm going to."

Flipping us over Jax presses me to the mattress moving his hips in slow thrusts while his mouth drifts from my ear to my neck, my lips, my collarbones, one arm holding his upper body off me while his other maps trails over my torso, a calloused finger brushing over the bottom of my ribcage leads to a feather light brushing of his palm over my nipple.

The tiny movement makes my back arch, a jolt of desire burning through my body, raising my temperature. I feel his lips curve into a smile against my skin, his hand lifting more so that I can barely feel his touch, more the heat that is emanating of his palm.

Five lines of heat land on my breast, it takes a second for me to put them to his fingers laying on my skin, by the time my brain connects that his hand is moving, his fingers dragging over my skin till they meet around my nipple, each roughened fingertip is dragged over the sensitive tip, as his tongue runs in circles over my neck, his teeth dragging over my skin after each pass.

Lying under him all I can do is clench my hands, my fingertips of one hand digging into the muscles of his back, strands of his hair tangling around the others as my hand tightens in his hair.

Lifting his body further up he looks down at me, his hair hanging into his eyes, words seem to be beyond his control as he blinks incredibly slowly, his eyes staying closed for seconds at a time.

Curling both my arms around his neck I use the leverage to lift my upper body off the bed, pressing my lips to his again, my tongue demanding entrance to his mouth, which he gives with a groan as his arms fold from under him.

Catching himself just before he crushes me underneath his body he lifts his head, his eyes blinking open and boring into mine "Please tell me your close."

I nod silently, the ability to speak has been lost, my entire being had been concentrating on holding back the Everest sized orgasm I Could feel coming. With a muttered "Thank fuck." Jax's movements speed up, the bed creaking with each thrust, the headboard backing against the wall each time we move.

Releasing the control I'd been keeping on myself I barely hear the final groan of the bed, the sound of something crashing behind him lost in the waves of euphoria cascading over me as my muscles tighten to the point of pain before snapping in earth moving orgasm that has my eyes clenched tightly, my mouth open sucking in gasps of air and my limbs quivering continually.

When I finally manage to open my eyes again Jax is lying beside me, his face relaxed, a smirk crossing his expression when I blink dazedly at him "Was it always that good?"

Jax nods "Always babe, but this is a first."

"What?"

Gesturing around us he starts laughing "We broke the bed."

Looking over his shoulder I can see that the base has literally collapsed around us, the mattress is on the floor, the footboard falling to the floor had been the crashing noise I'd heard, the headboard still leaning against the wall. "Oops." I whisper, closing my eyes as giggles overtake me.

AN: Good enough? I wasn't as happy with it as I have been with some of the lemons I've written in the past. Also this will be the last update for at least 2 weeks, maybe longer. I have a 6 day work week next week and my daughter is also on school holidays. I'd love lots of reviews :-)


	52. Chapter 52

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

2 unrelated parts to this note:

1\. I decided to post this chapter early. I am beyond excited. Halestorm, a band I _**adore**_ are coming to New Zealand on December 5th. Tickets go on sale on Friday and if I can get some my husband and will be going.

2\. I've gone back to series 1 of Sons and I realised that I've committed a terrible sin. Donna and Opie's kids are Ellie and Harry…however I'm not changing it so he's Kenny in my story cause I said so.

Neither Jax or I move for a while, lying on the destroyed remains of the bed as the light in the room changes, from midday sun to dimming afternoon light, talking about anything that passes our minds. By the time Jax's stomach starts to growl it's almost dark, the open curtains showing a sunset that's painting the sky in streaks of orange and red.

"What are you cooking for dinner?" Jax asks with a grin.

Lifting my eyebrows at him I shake my head "I'm not cooking. You're going to go out and restart that fire in the pit outside then we're going to have a camp style cookout. I brought hotdogs and garlic bread for dinner and marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers for 'smores for dessert. There's plenty of beer in the fridge, and Jack in the cupboard."

Jax just smirks at me for a minute until I cock my head to the side "What?"

"Hot dogs, garlic bread, beer, and JD. Sounds like a perfect menu."

Poking my tongue out at him I slide off the bed, my feet hitting the cool wooden floor as I stand up "That's cause I know you baby. Anything with fire to cook and booze to drink and you're a happy man."

Jax leans across the bed and grabs my ankle "Throw in a bit of you naked and I'm perfect."

Rolling my eyes at the ceiling I pick up his abandoned shirt and pull it over my shoulders "Let go of me and get up. I'm hungry feed me."

Jax flops back onto his pillow "But you took my shirt."

Throwing his t-shirt at him I finish dressing and head towards the door "I'll open you a beer."

"Yes boss, sure boss." Jax lifts himself off the pillow with a groan "I think I pulled something."

Snorting on a burst of laughter I shake my head "I'll rub it for you later."

Jax chuckles "I pulled something right between my thigh and my waist."

Shaking my head I walk down the hall "And it'll only feel better if I kiss it, right?" I mutter under my breath as I open the fridge and lift out the hot dogs and one of Jax's beers.

By the time Jax appears in the kitchen door everything's ready to be taken outside. "You grab the cooler, I'll get the rest."

Jax grins and salutes at me, heading outside with the container of food in one hand, his other hand darting out and grabbing his beer. "Lead on before I fade away."

Leaning into Jax's side I groan as he offers me another marshmallow "Oh god no, I've eaten quite enough."

Jax chuckles "Told you to leave that last one for me."

Poking my tongue out at him I elbow his side "You did. Should have listened but I didn't."

Jax grins at me "That's cause I'm always right."

Rolling my eyes at him "I'll give you most of the time you're right. Not always. Not possible to be always right."

Jax laughs "Sure Mrs I-Must-Do-Everything-Right-Now. It took you almost having a breakdown to admit that you couldn't do everything. The fact you admitted so easily that I'm right is a good thing. Means you're learning. Taking a step back is a good thing. We haven't had a break with everything that's gone on." Jax runs his hand down my arm and squeezes my fingers tightly "Thank you for finally listening to me and agreeing to step back from all the unnecessary responsibility you pour onto your own shoulders."

I shrug my free shoulder "It's not like you and D really gave me a choice did you?"

Jax twists his fingers through mine, his thumb rubbing over my wedding and engagement rings "No, I didn't give you a choice on it. You know you would have ignored me but with D backing me up you'd actually listen."

"Can I have another drink please." Jax swaps my empty bottle for a full one and leaves me to think in silence for a few minutes.

"I accept that I was doing way too much. I realise that now." Jax almost sounds like he wants to say something but I shake my head "Let me finish baby. You know it's not often I admit I'm wrong but I'm going to so shush and let me speak. I realise that I was doing too much, I realise I was taking on responsibility that wasn't entirely mine and that there are plenty of people who can share that with me. There are people within my support group who are more than willing to take on some of the stuff that I buried myself in while you were inside to keep busy. You've made me delegate some of it, and I know it was stuff that could have been passed on ages ago. Before you got out I should have lessened the things I was doing."

Jax pulls his fingers out of mine, his fingers trailing up and down my arm while I speak. Even though he hasn't said a word I know there's a smile on his face when I continue speaking. "I should have handed over the managing of both stores before you got out. I should have hired an accountant weeks ago, probably months, back when I brought both stores cause I'm sure my tax documents are a mess at the moment, but that's not my problem now. I don't think that there's anything else that I can pass on without feeling lazy."

Jax laughs "I think you're good now babe. Stores; gone. Business accounts; gone. Household accounts; gone. Kids; help is always there with Ma, Neeta, Donna, Al, Cam and Lyla."

"Put it like that and it sounds like I've got nothing else to do. And what do you mean household accounts?"

"The accountant I hired will be doing the household stuff as well. And taking on TM's accounts so Ma has more time for her grandkids. She was complaining to me last week she didn't have enough days to spend with the six of them."

"I thought that was the point of training D to help her?" I ask quietly, watching the flames devouring one of the logs in the fire.

"It was, it also helps D have her own income, gets her out of the house for a couple of days a week and gives her time to herself. But you know Gemma, she's always changing things around to make it easier for the Club and the family."

I nod, resting my head back against his shoulder "Still feel like I now have nothing to do."

Jax laughs "Between raising three kids, and the dog, looking after me, keeping the house standing and doing all the other bits that you do for TM, D, Al, Cam, Lyla and Cherry I'm sure you'll keep busy."

I sigh "I'm not sure about Cherry though baby."

Setting his third empty beer bottle down he picks up a full one, squeezing his arms around me as he opens it "What do you mean?" Following his question he burps beside my ear making me laugh and pull away from him.

"Eww gross."

Laughing he pulls me back to his side, his arm wrapping around my waist "Come back here, I was comfortable. Then explain."

"Cherry lied to us all, she kept most of her life secret. She gave me false details for her income. I could get in shit with the IRS because of it. I was paying taxes and all that shit for someone who didn't exist."

"Unser got her to do an affidavit saying that she gave me false details. Hopefully that covers the IRS." Jax replies with a smirk evident in his voice. "Your mother-in-law was looking out for you. Making sure that you were protected from hassles caused by someone else's issues."

"I didn't know that." My voice is soft while I consider how much people have been looking out for me, even when I'd been completely unaware of it.

Jax leans down and kisses my shoulder "You weren't meant to babe. That was the whole point behind her doing it and not me."

Sitting up I ignore his startled noise of protest "When we get back I want to do a dinner. We're back Thursday so on Saturday. For the whole family."

Jax shakes his head with a wry grin "What happened to taking things down a notch or ten?" 

"It's one dinner."

"For about 30 people." Jax lifts a hand at my noise of protest "Clay, Ma, Donna, Ope with Kenny, Ellie and Rebecca. Bobby, Chibs, Kerianne, Otto, Lu, Trinity, Piney, Tig, Happy, Cam, Juice, Al, Miles, Lyla. Plus your favourite Fresno members are coming down for a week to finalise the shit with the guns. Last shipment was our last babe."

Turning around I grin even wider "If it's my favourites it's Vince, Tank, Blade, Maggie, Dani and my favourite bar girl Abby. That makes it a bigger reason to celebrate, SAMCRO is finally as far from guns as you're gonna get, the wealth is being shared more with other charters and you guys still get your big income, even though it now comes from cum shots and pussy instead of gunpowder and lead."

Jax shakes his head "You still surprise me with the words that come out of your mouth. I mean really, my sweet innocent girl talking about porn and guns in the same sentence."

I start chuckling "You just put me and sweet and innocent in the same sentence. Are you insane?"

"But you are. Sweet, innocent, nice, helpful, perfect." Between each word he drops his lips to my skin.

Pulling out of his grip I grab his hand pulling him to his feet "Let's go to bed and I'll show you how sweet and innocent I am."


	53. Chapter 53

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

AN: Sorry I didn't write the lemon…If enough requests I will and post it in the seemingly abandoned outtakes file, though I will still take requests for any outtakes people wish to see. Also, I wanted to watch the Crossroads I've mentioned, but can't cause I live out of the US. Sucks.

Also seems I'm not the only one confused about Kenny/Harry In Giving Back (the one with Kyle getting his patch burnt off) Donna calls their son Harry as they're running away from the car which is where I got that his name was Harry, also Harry is Opie's actual name. However in Capybara (3 episodes later) when in the ATF facility Donna calls him Kenny…oops to SoA writers.

The following day Jax and I spend quietly together, he fixes the squeaking hinge on the bathroom door while I finally clean the freezer, almost climbing into it to clean the bottom of it. When the door is fixed and he finds me in the freezer he shakes his head at me "I told you to stay watching whatever it was you were watching."

Poking my head over the top of the plastic I jerk my head towards the living room "It's called Crossroads, it's music. Specifically Brantley Gilbert and Lynyrd Skynyrd."

"You and your country music."

Sticking my tongue out at him I dip back into the freezer, the last of the ice that had been incrusted on the bottom finally coming free. "Not my fault you don't like it."

Leaning over the top of the freezer Jax chuckles "I never said I didn't like it, but it's not my favourite of the eclectic mix of music you listen to."

Lunch is eaten sitting on the sofa, but dinner ends up being spread across the destroyed bed, the cheese, crackers, meats and dips I'd taken in all finger food that Jax grins wickedly when he wipes his fingers on the mattress "What. We're going to have to order a new bed anyway. One of the slats is broken in half and ripped into the mattress and the entire base is destroyed."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean you can be a pig. We still have another night to sleep on it, and now all I'll be able to smell is basil pesto. I'll be hungry all night."

Jax bursts out laughing "Guess I'll have to make you pass out from exhaustion so you can't smell it."

"Think you already did that once today. We might need to replace the sofa as well."

Jax snorts as he laughs, the sound making my light giggles turn into laughs that shake my shoulders "Did…you…just…snort?" I choke out through panted breaths.

Jax sets the plate down beside the bed and grabs my arm, pulling me onto his lap "Maybe." His fingers start digging into my side as he tickles me till my sides literally ache with laughter.

"Baby please stop." I spit out breathing heavily when he lifts his hands off with a smirk.

"Who's snorting now."

Once all the dishes are back in the kitchen cupboards, the fridge empty of everything apart from breakfast things Jax finds me back in front of the TV "What you watching now?"

"Nothing really. Just thinking with background noise."

Lifting my feet he sits down and drops them on his lap "Thinking what?"

"All sorts of shit."

Nudging the sole of my foot till I look at him he frowns "Tell me."

Jax sighs when I shake my head "Nothing you'd be interested baby. Promise."

Squeezing my toes "Let me be the judge of that. Tell me."

"New bed for here, I was trying to work out how to get it here, plus a new couch cause this one really has had it. And who's paying for it. We'll pay for the bed cause we broke it so that's a no brainer. Also trying to figure out when I'll have time to finally get the next two parts on my tattoo done." Jax raises his eyebrow till I sigh "Caden and Bailey's dog tags. Other than that I'm running out of room."

Jax looks down, his eyes tracing my bare skin, most of it on display in his old t-shirt. "I still see a thigh that's empty."

"Yeah and that's it, that's the grand total of my empty skin."

"But you could stamp my name on that empty patch."

I shake my head "I've already got two permanent reminders that I belong to you. Don't need another one." I smile at him, my fingers trailing over the shield on the side of my neck.

"I still have to work out where I'm getting my ink for the other two." Jax says, looking down at his chest, Abel's name stamped across his skin. "I was thinking Bailey across the side of my neck and Caden on my bicep?"

I shrug "It's your body, your ink, your kids. Your choice."

"I'll think about it some more. What else is going on in that pretty little head of yours."

"Besides furniture shopping, ink, worrying about the twins and how they're doing without us, wondering when Abel's standing will turn into walking, wondering what's coming next. But then I'm always wondering what's coming next."

Jax laughs "I think that's enough babe. But I can tell you the kids are fine I talked to Ma earlier today, she said that both twins love Clay more than everyone else, apart from Happy which is really strange. As soon as they see him the pair ends up with huge grins on their faces. Ma keeps trying to say that it's cause they think he's a clown. Abel's definitely decided that Cam is his, as soon as he sees her he demands her attention."

"As long as he's not screaming for it, and he's not having it granted every time." I reply, not wanting my oldest son to become spoilt.

"It's been two days Sarah, they're not going to become spoilt in that short a time." Jax says with a grin at me.

I lift an eyebrow "Are you sure about that? It doesn't take long to develop a habit. A habit becomes an addiction; an addiction becomes demands for something."

"Like smoking, drinking, crank, driving fast." Jax lists the addictions in a way that makes me frown.

"Well I would have put crank as a much more debilitating addiction then smoking. And besides, you don't smoke anymore, apart from weed. Neither of us are using crank, I wouldn't say that either of us drinks to excess, yes I drive fast, it's my only vice."

Jax snorts again, shaking his head when I open my mouth "Yes I did snort. Your only vice. I'm pretty sure that you're addicted to coffee, shopping, shoes, corsets, clothes, ink, piercings. What else?"

Poking my tongue out at him I cross my arms across my chest in a childish display "You forgot the two most important addictions I have."

Jax frowns, his eyebrows knitting together while I leave him to think, giggling on the inside that he can't work it out. "Nope, I give up. What's your two most important addictions. Not sure how an addiction can be important though."

Hopping to my feet I stop at the edge of the couch "Well my number one addiction is my kids, my number two is you. Parts of you anyway." Grinning at him I dart out of his grasp as his hand shoots out to grab my arm.

I hear a crash as I turn the corner into the hallway, his voice trailing "I'll give you those parts if you stop."

My feet freeze where I was, the seconds till he appears behind me seem like hours, his hand ghosting around my waist "So you're only addicted to parts of me?"

Turning in his arm I reach up with my left hand grabbing hold of the long hairs at the back of his head "Yep. Parts. Like the top part and the bottom part. The left part and the right part." My other hand traces over his skin as I speak "This hand, this wrist, this arm, this chest, this throat, this face." With each part I name I touch the part mentioned, his eyes clouding with lust "I'm addicted to this hair, this shoulder, this back, this hip, this ass cheek, and it's matching pair." I ignore my faintly heating face and continue, my hands swapping place, my right hand trailing down his other side "This shoulder too, and the arm that comes off it, the hand at the end, this thigh and the leg that's attached to it. I'm addicted to your eyes, your smile, your lips, your cock, your breath, your touch, your smell."

Jax leans down, his mouth capturing mine before I can continue, which is just as well as by then my brain had stopped supplying me with words. Lifting me up and hoisting me over his shoulder he smacks my ass "Let's go introduce to further to some of those parts."

AN: Ideas for Jax and locations of his Bailey and Caden tattoos, I'm not completely set on the ones I came up with as I was writing. My daughters' name is around my ankle, which isn't going to happen with a biker, my husband has it on his inner arm, but that won't happen cause Jax already has ink on both.

In case anyone has forgotten ink is as follows (I have a map of them to keep track)

Jax: Back; SOA patch

Left arm; Sarah's picture

Right arm; JT tribute

Left pec; Abel's name.

Sarah: Back; war scene

Left arm; flora and fauna scene

Right arm; scar covering

Left leg; phoenix

Right ankle; charm bracelet

Right calf/shin; banner

Right neck; shield

Chest/ribs; crow &amp; dog tags


	54. Chapter 54

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

Long AN at bottom.

Jax sighs, leaning against the tailgate of his Ram "I don't want to go home."

"Why?" I ask, tossing my backpack into the backseat.

"We've finally got back to how we were before all the shit happened, I'm afraid that going back will bring the distance back." Jax answers, circling the truck and folding me into his arms.

"Not gonna happen baby. I've agreed to one night a weekend for the two of us. You've agreed to one day a week where you won't go do TM or club shit unless it's vitally important. We're going to set strict rules for Grandma so she's not showing up all hours of the day and night."

Jax grins, remembering our negotiations, for each successful agreement an article of clothing had been shed, when we'd had an argument, even minor, two had been put on. It had let to most of the issues we had to talk about being agreed quickly and beneficially on both sides ending in my inability of looking at the coffee table the same way again. I'm sure it'll take a few days to work out who was the winner in the agreements, but we were both the winner in the end.

"Besides that, if we're having 30 odd people for dinner in two days I need to get working." I remark, slipping out of his arms and around the truck. "What do you want to have?"

Jax looks at me as he closes the driver's door "Anything."

Leaning back into the leather seat I close my eyes "I'm thinking fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn, roasted broccoli and asparagus for dinner and then ice cream sandwiches for dessert, with home-made cookies." Looking at him out of the corner of my eye I smile "What do you think?"

Jax glances over at me, shrugging his shoulder as he starts the truck "As long as it's not hugely labour intensive that keeps you in the kitchen for two solid days anything's good with me."

"It won't be."

Jax is just turning on to the main road when his phone rings, the sound harsh in the quiet of the cab "Haven't missed that." I remark as he pulls it from the centre console.

The conversation between Jax and whoever it is on the other end is very short and clipped from the side I can hear. Jax snaps the phone closed drops it between the seats after sentences from his end that consist of "Shit" "Okay" "Jesus Christ" "Right" "Sure" and "Great" with spaces between the words.

Glancing at me out of the corner of his eye he sighs "Doesn't get easier."

"What?" I ask, feeling my blood pressure rise "What's happened while we were gone for all of 48 hours."

"Want the good news or bad news first?" Jax looks over at me again "Bad news first then. Cherry's done a deal, with Patrick's agreement. She'll be back in 8 months, after her sentence."

"What'd she get convicted of? I thought we did enough to get her off everything."

"Almost, cause the car was damaged beyond salvage point she was charged with that. The ex-husband wasn't interested in the payoff you offered. He wanted her to do time."

"Oh for fuck sake. So because he couldn't handle being rejected and her wanting to leave because he was an abusive bastard he had her charged?"

Jax nods, making a short noise of disgust "Yeah Sack's no happier about it."

"So if that's the bad news, what's the good?"

"Rat finishes his prospect period next month. How that happened I don't know."

Twisting in my seat I smirk at him "I can tell you how. You did time inside, and then went to Belfast. He's done his prospecting while you were otherwise engaged. Wouldn't exactly say that's good news though, well not for me anyway."

"No, but the next part is."

"What's that?"

"That gives us a completely full table." Jax says glancing over at me.

"Still doesn't affect me."

"No, but the now overstaffed TM does."

"How?" My eyebrows are furrowed in confusion. "And the next words out of your mouth had better not be 'I have to go to…' insert some charter."

Jax laughs "No, nothing like that. I promise babe. Didn't I just spend the last two days assuring you I wasn't going anywhere?" At my nod he grins "What I am doing is splitting my working week, 2 days at TM, 3 at BV, any overtime needed at both places."

"I'm still a little confused as to why that matters to me?" Each sentence he says, while it makes sense that it helps him and the Sons, nothing he's told me is good news from what I can see.

"BV days will be 3 hours at most, plus an hour each way is a 5 hour work day. I won't have to start till 10; I'll be back by 230ish each afternoon. It means that I can spend more time with the kids, do all that shit at home you keep telling me needs to be done. Cars serviced, lawns mowed, garage gutters cleared, garage cleaned up."

I stifle a giggle and nod at him, my confusion finally clearing "And of course it means you'll be home more with me."

"Course having more time to be in, I mean with, you is a bonus." Jax says with a grin and a wink at me.

Reaching across the car I slap his arm lightly "Perve."

Jax just continues to smile at me.

**AN: **I'm tossing up a few ideas of drama to come in the future. I had a few that I immediately threw away; Wendy's parents showing up wanting custody of Abel was one of them. Another that was discharged from my brain was Tara returning. I'm re-watching SoA from season one hoping I can pinpoint the action that made me hate her character, I think I've worked it out. When Jax comes to see her after Donna's death every sentence she says is about _her_. None of it is about supporting him and being there for what _he_ needs. Then she tells him she's leaving because it's the 'best choice' and denies that she's running. Jax nails it on the head that as soon as she's tested she leaves, but he still confesses far too much to her about how he feels and she just stands there like a stunned mullet. I'm a firm believer in HEA's so don't want to kill off any characters, and I'm far too attached to my creations to want to anyway. So anyway, until I work out the drama that I'm bringing to Charming updates may be slow.


	55. Chapter 55

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile.

The driveway at home is empty apart from Neeta's huge station wagon; Jax's space in the garage is occupied though, the door sliding up to show Gemma's Caddy parked beside my Nitro. We're barely stopped in front of the house before the door is thrown open, two teenagers running towards us, a dog barking on their heels and a frustrated looking Neeta carrying Abel on one hip.

Gemma appears before I can even start deciphering what the girls are saying, their words tripping over each other. Leaning back into the side of the Ram I sigh and hold up both my hands "Stop! Trin, Keri I'll listen to you two in a minute. Gem, you first."

Gemma chuckles "Nothing much from me, I'm just leaving. Jax, Clay needs you at TM at 4 for Church."

Jax nods "Okay Ma."

"Right, Neeta. What's up?"

Neeta hands Abel to me, his hands fisting in my hair as he nuzzles his face into the side of my neck "He missed you. The twins have been great, the girls have been a good help. They've got a couple of confessions to make but we had a good time. Now, if you don't need me this sista is going to take her tired old fat ass home and have a rest. I'll be back in three days."

Chuckling at Neeta we get out of her way, watching as two of the cars move out of the drive. "Leave the car out, I'll have to use it later to get some groceries. How I'll manage that with give kids I don't know." I snicker as Trin starts to protest.

"I'm not a kid." At my chuckle she sighs and crosses her arms over her chest "I'm not. Dad said I'm the most grown up kid since some pretty girl he once knew."

I slide my free arm around her neck and start towards the house "He's talking about me. Your dad always called me pretty girl. Right from the first time I met him. So what happened?"

Trinity's face blooms a remarkable shade of red that reminds me of an overripe tomato and increases my curiosity when she bites her lips closed.

"Keri. What happened?" Jax tries, his blue eyes falling to the other of the two girls.

She inhales a huge lungful of air and then expels it "We were helping Neeta do the dishes and we broke a big blue dish."

I shrug a shoulder "Okay. No big deal. What else?"

Keri shakes her head and looks at Trin "I told them one, you tell them the other."

I bite back the chuckle "You know if there's any punishment it'll be shared with both of you so just fess up."

"We put bubble bath in the pool."

I hear Jax snort behind me as I stop walking; my feet almost in the kitchen door "You did what?"

Jax steps past me and walks to the backdoor "Oh shit. You did."

Abel squeaks as I tighten my arm around him, my steps taking me to my husband's side. Turning round I look at the pair of now subdued looking girls "When did you do that?"

"Last night, we thought it'd be fun this morning. Neeta wouldn't let us go in though." Trinity says quietly, her eyes locked on her feet.

Looking at Jax I narrow my eyes "Can you please go and find the goddamn power supply and turn that off before the whole yard ends up covered in bubbles. I'm going to go and ring the pool company and see what we do."

Jax snickers as I lift Abel out of my arms "Go to Daddy sweetie. Mommy has to make some phone calls."

Abel happily goes to his father, his searching fingers finding the tip of Jax's goatee and yanking on it. Hearing Jax's bitten back curse as I leave the room I smile "Karma." I call over my shoulder as I head upstairs in search of phone numbers for the pool company and the lawn company.

20 minutes later and two rather strange conversations I come back downstairs, my frown now firmly on my face. Jax looks up from the table when I come into the room then glances over his shoulder "The girls are outside watching their bubbles pop."

I sigh literally falling onto the seat beside him "I hope they enjoyed it. It's going to be costly."

"Why? Can't we just leave it to pop?"

I snort "Yeah I thought that too."

Planting my hands on the table I get up and cross to the door, pulling it open "In here. Now."

Both girls head towards the door, their feet dragging on the ground, when they're in the kitchen I point at the table and wait till they sit down and look up at me. "What was your free time now belongs to me. When you're not with your parents or sleeping you're here or at my stores working to repay the possibly thousands of dollars it's going to cost me to fix this. If I don't have something for you to do then Donna will, or Gemma, or Al, Cam, Lyla, Che...never mind that one. If you go to every single one of them and they have nothing, literally nothing, then you go to Jax at TM and ask him. If Jax isn't there you go to Happy and ask him. Are we clear?"

Both girls' eyes are wide when they look between me and Jax who has stayed silent while I speak. His simple incline of his head has both the girls nodding furiously.

I sigh, "In 36 hours your bubbles are gone, enjoy them while they last. I will let both your fathers' know that your asses are mine for the foreseeable future. Now get out of here. And no shoes in the pool."

The girls disappear like wind, the sounds of splashing showing they've jumped straight into the water.

Jax reaches over and grabs my hand, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles "I think that's the first time you've told those two off."

I shrug "I wasn't kidding; they're going to work off every cent of what it's going to cost me to fix this. Do you know what they put in it?"

Jax lifts a pale green bottle "They said this one."

"Grass should be fine then. Thankfully. But the problem is that the bubble bath got into the filtration system. They're going to have to drain the pool, clean the entire pool several times to get rid of the residue of the bubbles. Then they're going to have to replace the filters with some heavy duty shit, clean the filtration system then replace the filters again. _If_ that works then we should be okay. If not then they have to replace the whole bloody system, all the pumps and pipes which would mean lifting the tiles and digging it all out."

Jax looks a little stunned "So ball park?"

"Around 2 grand probably. That's if they don't have to replace the whole system. If they have to do that then the girls might be free of my debt by the end of high school."

"Shit."

I grin "Exactly. Now what do you want for dinner?"

AN: Thanks, good news and bad news.

Thanks: NatalieLynn for the idea of the tattoos, I will be using it in &amp; also Dani for reviewing every single chapter I have ever posted.

Good news: Here is another chapter.

Bad news: There won't be another chapter till at least the middle of September. My mojo which had been dwindling has vanished and I don't have the inspiration to write at the moment. I'm hoping watching Sons again and reading some fanfictions will bring it back so I am continuing to watch, only up to season 2 at the moment. And I'm going back to re-read some of the fanfics I have adored. Harlee Quinn's Jaxene series to start.


	56. Chapter 56

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

Website where all photos of all outfits mentioned is on my profile. Short lemon at the end. I'm back...a little.

The next two days pass in a flash, Jax spends some time at both TM and BV sorting out his work schedules, informing me the second morning that the porn side was also including helping Luann at both Caracara and the distribution centre which had been folded into the Sons growing porn kingdom. I'd put the girls to work helping me organise for the family dinner I decided on. For two days they get dropped at my house by their fathers as they head towards TM. From the minute they're in the door I put them to task.

When Jax walks in after his day on Tuesday he looks around then sniffs "Clean and it doesn't look like there's a piece of chicken in sight?"

Shaking my head I cross the kitchen and slide my arms around his waist "I decided to do something else. And as for the clean side of it, those girls have not argued with me at all. The grout in the kitchen and all the bathrooms has been cleaned, with a toothbrush and the silver service Gem gave us was polished today for dinner. They've prepared all the veges for tonight and done all the dishes, by hand. Lu came and picked them up about an hour ago so they go could shower and get changed before dinner."

Jax smirks "So they're behaving?"

I nod once, kissing his neck "The pool guys coming in this morning made them realise how much of a fuck up they made. The fact that even after draining the pool last night it took them 7 hours today to clean the inside made them even more conscious. And they're not done. They'll be back tomorrow."

Jax lifts his hands to the side of my face and holds them there for a second, looking into my eyes "Just don't get too stressed about it. And tell me if it gets to be too much."

Poking my tongue out at him I have a split second before he nips at the end of it "What did we decide about you and doing that?"

I try and look innocent "We decided that I wouldn't anymore."

"And if you did?"

"That I'd have to forfeit something of your choice."

Jax grins and drops his hand to my shoulder "I'm thinking…"

"…That it won't be clothes cause your brothers, and their families, are due here in about an hour." I cut in with a smile at him.

"Oh, but I could have you out of them, panting in release, showered and then back into them all before they get here."

Barely stopping myself from rolling my eyes I blink up at him instead "You really think that?"

Jax shrugs "Maybe. What's for dinner?"

Glancing over at the oven I mentally frown at the change in pace "Lasagne, garlic bread, broccoli, green beans and that carrot and cheese salad you like. Lasagne's in the oven and everything else is ready to go."

"And dessert?"

"I made a few desserts with the girls help, I did a Tiramasu, a lemon cake, chocolate cupcakes with vanilla frosting and some of those macadamia white chocolate cookies Uncle Clay loves."

Jax leans down and sniffs my neck, before running his tongue over the shell of my ear "So that's why you smell like sugar? I think you need a shower before everyone gets here."

Lifting my hair to my nose I inhale "Nah I smell okay."

Jax chuckles slightly before bending over and picking my up by the back of the thighs "Nah, you need a shower."

Walking towards the staircase he pauses at the bottom of the stairs "Where are the kids?"

"Bailey and Caden are sleeping. Abel is with your Mom. She came and picked him up a couple of hours ago, took him shopping for some new clothes. He's growing like a weed."

Jax doesn't say a word, instead he just starts up the stairs, humming happily.

**AN: Who wants a lemon? Well it's here, if you don't want to read it, skip to the next chapter.**

Setting me on my feet outside our door he peeks through the open door to the twins room, pulling the door closed behind him with a smile "They're completely out to it."

Crossing back to me the smile on his face turns distinctly predatory. Backing away from him I swallow loudly, my back hitting the wall beside our bedroom "I'm innocent."

Jax twitches one eyebrow and takes another slow step "I highly doubt that."

Sliding sideways I search with my foot till I feel the gap and take another step backwards, my retreating steps matching Jax's advancing ones till my heel hits something low and I start toppling backwards with a shriek.

Jax darts forwards and before I can hit the ground his hand is locked around my arm, stopping me inches from hitting the floor hard.

Wrapping my arms around his neck I press myself to his chest, my hands running up his arms to lace in his hair "Love you baby."

It's strange the almost sense of urgency that overtakes us both, we're shedding clothes in between fast wet kisses, hands fumbling over Jax's buttons and my zipper, falling onto the bed in a tumble of limbs that ends with a laugh as Jax finally rights us, our bodies lying across the bed, his mouth hovering over mine, the soft ends of his goatee brushing my top lip.

Stretching up I catch his lip between my teeth and tug lightly "Please."

His breath fans across my lips as he whispers "Like I could deny you anything." His lips seal against mine at the same time I feel his fingers feather across my thigh, my legs parting with barely any pressure. Lifting himself over me he pulls back just far enough to blink his eyes open, the blue blazing with lust, love and desire. Tilting his hips forwards he fills me with a slow movement, my breath catching in my throat.

Jax sets a slow pace that drives me mad within a few long strokes, his mouth crossing my skin, pressing kisses to wherever he stops, a quick peck on the forehead, a longer kiss against my check, a brief brushing of lips across my eyelid before he makes his way back to my mouth, his tongue tangling with mine as his thrusts increase in speed till I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, the rapid pace sending us both sliding across the bed. My head is just starting to move off the other side of the bed when Jax pulls back from my mouth, his lips never leaving my skin, his mouth trailing hot kisses down my neck where he parts his mouth over my pulse point, his breath hotter than the skin there.

Grazing his teeth across my skin I can feel as his lips twitch into a smirk as my body starts trembling under him. Changing his angle slightly my entire body clamps around him as a low groan rips its way out of my throat. Jax's breath comes in faster pants against my skin, his teeth digging in deeper as his thrusts become erratic, his orgasm catching him with a sudden clamping of muscles, including his teeth onto my neck.

Lifting my hand I swipe my sweaty hair away from my face, then trail my fingers down his cheek till he looks up "Definitely need a shower now."

Jax laughs, looks down at my neck and grimaces as he slides off the bed. "Sorry about that."

I shrug one shoulder, slowly willing my legs to move as I climb to my feet and head towards the bathroom "Don't be, I'm not."


	57. Chapter 57

CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

There are some photos associated with this chapter on Photobucket. I'm still not sure if I'm back fully or not. I've got a couple of chapters written which I'm not completely happy with, but also have a vague idea of drama to come.

An hour later my kitchen is crammed with women occupied in various ways, Cam's grabbing plates and passing them to Trin to take to the table, Donna is getting the glasses for Keri, Al's passing drinks out of the fridge to Lyla who's putting them on a tray to carry through to the dining room. Gemma is in the storage room looking for the corkscrew. Luann is wiping down the serving dishes and Dani, Maggie and Abby are all sitting at the table looking bewildered.

Gemma finally emerges with the corkscrew in her hand, a cook book in the other and a smile on her face "So while I was in there I saw this book and I thought you might want to do some creating at TM." She pushes the book towards me with a grin "I'll have the kids next weekend, you can have a night at the lot."

Glancing down at the book I shake my head "Oh no. No way, that book is just a cheats way of getting drunk without drinking."

Abby looks over "Huh?"

Tossing the book towards her she catches it and sets it down, opening the book of cocktails, including 70 different ways of doing a jelly shot. "How many of these shots have you tried?" She asks with a grin.

"About half of them since I brought the book four years ago. They're lethal." I reply, gesturing towards Cam "She likes them, especially the White Lightning and Alabama Slamma."

Al grimaces, shaking her head "The orange tic tac one is beyond a joke. It tastes like an orange tic tac, till you have three and then try and stand up. You end up on your ass."

I snort as she glares at me "You had more than three. Unless you were counting how many you were having at a time Ali-bean."

Maggie jumps to her feet and disappears out of the room, returning a few minutes later with a huge smile on her face "We're coming back next weekend for a jello shot party."

I groan and bang my head on the bench beside where I was finishing with the green beans, my salvation comes in the form of a squeak from the baby monitor. Snatching it off the bench I leave the room "I'll be back in a second. D, can you drain the broccoli. Everything's ready to go."

Closing the door of the twins room I lean against it, my forehead against the cool wood. The feel of a hand against the back of my hip brings me standing up in a hurry, till Jax's laugh gives him away "What's this about a jello party?"

Turning I burrow my face into his chest "Your mother went looking through my recipe books and found the one of jelly shots and told me I should make some for TM next weekend, that turned into a jelly shot party." Squeezing his waist I sniff, trying to sound pathetic "Save me from them, they're trying to kill me."

Jax laughs, his hand brushing over my hair "You'll be fine babe. I'll be there."

Shaking my head I pull out of his arms and head towards Bailey, her snuffly noises having been what brought me upstairs "Damn straight you'll be there. Your mom is taking the kids. Again."

"So we'll use that as our day next week. No problems." Jax says with a grin, "And before you protest, we'll then shut ourselves away with the kids the following weekend, no interruptions."

"Promise?" I whisper as I quickly change Bailey's nappy and hand her to her father, spinning and picking up Caden before he can even open his mouth to protest.

"Sure babe." Jax steps beside me and kisses my cheek "We can even take all three of them to the cabin if you want."

I shake my head "Nah, I need to go get a new bed ordered first, and they don't have anywhere to sleep up there, we only have one port-a-cot." Jax opens his mouth and before he can speak I shake my head "I'm not getting more, besides the cabin is a great place for _adult _escapes; let's not fill it with kid stuff." I giggle as we leave the room, both kids ready for a bottle "Imagine what Tig would say if he went up there and found a bunch of kid's toys, including a doll for Bailey."

Jax laughs as he steps into the kitchen, heading straight for the bottle warmer, stopping Gemma and her approach with stretched out arms with barely a glance. I'm not given a chance to protest when Gemma changes direction, picking Caden out of my arms before I can make a sound. "You need to finish with the lasagne. Everyone's at the table."

I look around the kitchen with a raised eyebrow, seeing Al and Cam still standing by the bench, cutting garlic bread into sections, Donna's standing by the stove with two pots in front of her and Abby is still at the table with the alcohol book.

Gemma shrugs with a chuckle "Everyone else."

Sighing I watching Gemma leave with my son. Jax stops in front of me and waits till I look up at him "Friday at 4pm we'll close the gates, and won't open them till Monday at 7am, promise."

I nod, leaning forward and kissing Bailey's soft forehead. "I'm going to hold you to that Mr Teller."

Jax grins widely "I'm going to hold you to me Mrs Teller."

Donna makes a fake gagging noise behind us, reminding me that we're not alone in the room. Pressing a kiss to Jax's lips I step backwards "Right, D, garlic bread Al, Cam veges to the table, I'll slice these and bring it through. Abby can grab the second one for me."

The kitchen empties in the blink of an eye, Abby closing the book and pushing it towards the middle of the table "Where'd you get that from? It's pretty cool."

Glancing over as I slide a knife into the first lasagne "I found it in a second hand book store in New York. Take it with you. I've got all my favourite concoctions from it written down."

Abby just about bounces across the table, snatching the book and disappearing as I'm still laughing "I need your help here!"

She reappears after a minute "Sorry, was putting it with my jacket. What am I doing?"

"Take that one to the table, it's cut. I'll bring this one in a second. It's hot so don't burn your hands."

5 minutes later sitting round my table are so many men in kuttes, women and children that even at its full extension we've still had to add one of the folding tables from TM on the end, the 24 seats not quite enough for the 30 people at my table. The noise level seems insane for the for little while, the requests for various dishes and seasoning's quieting to the sound of cutlery moving and chewing, the occasional question from one of Donna and Opie's kids, or Keri answering her father's repeated question of 'You really helped make this?' making me laugh.

Jello Shots:

-WHITE LIGHTNING (boil 1 cup water, add pina colada jello, 1/2 cup vodka, 1/2 cup triple sec)

-ALABAMA SLAMMER 3/4 cup of boiling water. Dissolve 1 package of Lemon Jello (3 oz) and stir until everything is completely dissolved and then add 1/3 cup of coldwater. Next, add 1/3 cup of Amaretto, 1/4 cup of Southern Comfort, and 1/3 cup of Sloe Gin. Mix throuroughly until everything is well combined and the carefully pour into jello shot cups. Chill for 3 to 4 hours and serve.

-ORANGE TIC TAC Boil two cups red bull, mix jello two minutes, add two cups mandarin orange vodka


	58. Chapter 58

CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

Who on earth would have Iron Maiden playing one night then Black Sabbath playing the following night at a location about 4 hours' drive away. Decisions decisions. Do I go skip Iron Maiden cause I saw them a few years ago and it's Black Sabbath's final tour? Do I go to both? Have to get tickets first.

During dinner the conversation drifts through several topics, I vaguely hear Clay talking with Vince about the porn house, and how quickly the distribution took off, Luann leaning across the table, her hands waving in the air as she raves about it.

At one point where the table is almost completely silent Gemma leans forward and catches my eye "Can you buy extra sections for these tables?" At my nod she smiles "Good, tell me where and I'll get one, this isn't big enough."

Hiding my snicker behind a mouthful of garlic bread I nod again and turn back towards the girls where they'd been talking to me across the table. The 12 year olds completely settled in small town life, both of them counting down the days till they started the new school year.

Hearing Lyla and Dani talking quietly about being the youngest of the 'Old Ladies' in their respective charters makes me lean back in my seat. Jax reaches over and grabs my hand "You okay babe?"

Nodding absentmindedly I turn to him "Yeah, did anyone do anything about Sturgis this year?" My thinking had left me on a tangent of a way to get the women of the Sons of Anarchy together in one place, the logical place seemed to be somewhere that included something to keep the men entertained.

Jax shakes his head, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles "Nope. Don't know what happened with it."

Lifting his eyes he waits till Clay notices and jerks his head "The powers that be want to know why Sturgis wasn't done this year."

Clay shrugs one shoulder "No one has the ability to organise as many things as you did."

Gemma snorts and looks at me with a huge smile "More, no one wanted the responsibility of organising it all."

Otto picks up the topic with a look around the table "What's Sturgis and why did I miss it?"

With a giggle I wave my hand around, it's Opie and Happy to tag team to explain, Chibs popping in comments every now and then.

"It's a motorcycle rally in South Dakota in August. Last year our own dictator took it on board to organise a trip there." Happy starts.

Opie picks up "Members of 8 different charters met up in various Clubrooms over the drive. Took us three days to get there. S organised accommodation for the places where we couldn't stay with the charters, organised the place we stayed in Sturgis, paid for it all."

"And got it all back." Chibs injects "She sorted out a cooking roster for the Old Ladies that went, she sorted getting groceries for the whole lot of us. All 30 of us that went."

Otto looks over with a grin while Opie starts again "We were gone for 2 weeks. The rally goes for 6 days and really was fun."

Jax nods with a smile "It was awesome. Those stools in the games room you keep trying to steal came from there."

Otto looks over at me and wiggles his eyebrows "Can you sort it again pretty girl, for me?"

Shaking my head I wait till everyone's looking at me, some in disbelief and some in curiosity, most of the curious looks belong to the women at the table who are very well aware I could sort it. "I can't for this year. The rally is due to start in less than a month."

"And?" Tank asks from his seat between Dani and Tig.

"I'm pretty sure that the whole place will be booked to the gills by now. And I won't be going, I've got three children under 18 months old to look after."

Donna nods "Yeah, I've got the kids just started school and Rebecca is not old enough to travel that far."

Clay clears his throat "How bout we put this to bed tonight, I'll talk with the various charter presidents and see if we want to make this a repeated event." Happy and Tig both grin widely "Bi-yearly." Clay continues, "that means every 2 years."

Piney chuckles at the fallen expressions that cross both faces of the enforcers, the pair of them looking like kids who've been told that the ice cream on the table isn't for them.

While we're sitting after dinner, before dessert is brought through there's a rapid knocking at the door. Jax and I share a quick look before he gets up and heads towards the front of the house, my movement halted by a glance from Happy across the table as he gets to his feet, following Jax a few paces behind.

The voices of two of the men I love the most are joined by an entirely unexpected voice and in my shocked state I don't move till three bodies appear in my doorway.

Leaning back in my seat I sigh "What happened?"

Patrick laughs, the sound obviously forced even to my ears "Can't I have just missed your baking?"

Rolling my eyes I stand up and grab an extra chair, pushing it in the corner opposite me and quickly running down the line of the table introducing everyone.

"Everyone, this is Patrick, my lawyer who for some reason has come all the way here from New York. And I _know_ it's not for baking." Patrick looks at me with a smirk as I start pointing to people "Chibs, his daughter, Keri. Keri's best friend Trinity. Miles and his old lady Lyla. Dani, her old man Tank. Tig, Bobby, Kip, Rat. Otto; Trinity's father and Luanne, Otto's wife. Down the end is Gemma, my mother in law, Clay, my uncle and father in law. Opposite side is Vince and his old lady, Maggie. Cam and Happy you know. Then Blade and his old lady Abby. Al, Juice you know. Ope's dad Piney then Opie and Donna are sitting with their kids Ellie and Kenny."

Poking my tongue out at him I watch him running over the table again with a frown "Okay, so she's got me there. I'm not going to remember all your names, but I'm sure over the next few weeks I'll get to know you all."

"Weeks?" I ask, my voice cracking slightly "What the fuck…sorry D…happened?"

Patrick sighs and looks around the table again "You have an office we can use?"

I nod and lead him upstairs "Won't be long. Pudding stuff is all in the kitchen."

Leading Patrick upstairs I gesture towards the chair and sit on the edge of the desk "Right, what's happening that you flew across the country for a _few weeks_."

Patrick sighs for the third time since arriving and lifts his briefcase "That ATF bitch that you fucked up, well she got fired. But she's got strings that she managed to pull."

I grin at her being fired but then immediately it falls to a frown "Okay. And?"

"A few things really. She's got the health department set to check on your café over the next few days. That's not the biggie, not really."

Without realising I'm doing it I start absently playing with my engagement ring "What's the biggie? Am I being sued."

Patrick laughs, a smile finally gracing his face "No, you're being audited by the IRS."

I shrug "So."

"The last 7 years of your personal income, expenditure, tax returns, business costs, both set up and day to day running. The loan you had with Bella Vista comes into it." Patrick says with a frown "That's why I'm here. To make sure that they don't use _your_ audit to dig into the Sons."

I giggle, my shoulders shaking with laughter as I lift a hand "Hold up, let's go back downstairs."

The pair of us return to the table, me via the kitchen to pull the ice cream out of the freezer for the ice cream sandwiches. Sitting down on Jax's lap I squeeze his hand "I'm being audited."

Jax nods "We thought this might happen with Cherry's revelations."

I shake my head "Wasn't her fault." I take a deep breath, my face cracking into a smile "It was the _former _ATF Agent by the name of June Stahl. Apparently I lost her her job, so she set the IRS on me."

Clay looks down the table at me with a frown "And you're laughing?"

I nod "The only concern that Patrick has is that whoever it is that is sent will try and use my audit to dig into the Sons. They'll be sh…completely outta luck. None of my finances went near the Sons, or TM for that matter."

Bobby starts chuckling as he looks over at Clay "Your very clever niece insisted that before any money went anywhere we had the accounts set up for the house. All money she spent went directly to suppliers, and all money repaid to her came from the BV accounts, which have no link to TM, or the Sons, apart from that three members are the signatories on the account."

Clay leans back, folding his hands across his lap before he starts laughing, his shoulders shaking with his chuckles "So she's wasting time?"

I nod, waiting till he catches my eyes before saying very clearly "The only connection my bank accounts, and businesses, have with the Sons is that the co-owner of everything of mine happens to be a Son. Even his wages from TM go into an entirely separate account that's still in only his name. Patrick is going to stick around and make sure they don't use my audit as a way to leeway into the Sons."

Jax leans past me to Patrick who has taken my seat "That'll be a good way to introduce Sarah's new accountant to all her weird accounting processes."

Patrick laughs and looks down the table "What's the chance of getting something to eat, the airplane food was horrible."

AN: Question time; Has anyone read any decent SoA stories where Jax and Wendy work things out. I hate Tara with a passion, as I have made clear (at least I hope I have) and was thinking about this today while driving that I'd like to read something where Jax chooses his wife and son over someone who abandoned him.


	59. Chapter 59

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

Chapter covers a month's time frame but is very short. I know the drama which is coming now.

Patrick ends up making a few phone calls to both the new accountant and the IRS over the following 48 hours arranging everything to do be done completely out of my sight and when I start asking him a question about it on his third morning in Charming he just shakes his head and lifts his hand to his mouth, miming zipping his lips.

The IRS officer arrives five days after the notice about the audit had arrived in Patrick's mail, I'm introduced to him but after our initial meeting I hear nothing from him. 10 days later Patrick stops at the house with a letter in one hand and a huge grin on his face, the smile getting bigger when he tells me that I'm due a tax refund of 5,498.12 from the last 7 years.

After passing on half the information that he had regarding the photo that had been emailed to me via the ATF June Stahl goes beyond being former agent to inmate at a low security prison. The ATF hierarchy had not taken it well that she'd used her office to essentially stalk a private citizen, that she'd used trumped up charges to get a search warrant for the clubhouse which showed up nothing had been another nail in her coffin, but the final one had come with the IRS results ending up with them owing me money.

Kip comes to me one day after a phone call from Cherry asking if there was any way I could help her to train in something while she was incarcerated, using his patch as a way to make me consider it. It almost comes to blows between him and Jax, but the final foot comes down in the way of Clay's size 13, telling Kip that there will be no help from the Sons, or their Old Ladies till Cherry has finished her time, returned to Charming and earned everyone's trust back.

The jello party gets put on indefinite hold when Abel gets a cold that sticks around in the house for weeks, passing it through Jax, then the twins before it lands on me. The discussions of the Sturgis trip happen behind closed doors of the clubhouse, the decision finally coming out the way everyone thought it would. Every two years a collection of Sons from charters all over the states will make the trip. The organisation being landed on Donna, who accepts with a grin, and a commandeering of my help.

Trinity's birthday ends up being moved to our house, the pool in the backyard a draw card for the girls, and the Winston twins. The water balloon fight the girls had had before getting in the pool had ended up with them playing piggy in the middle, with Doj between the pair, trying to catch the balloons, and succeeding more than missing. When they had given up on it and jumped in the pool he'd walked to a patch of sunny lawn and sat down, his eyelids closing within a few seconds.

The Teller twins hit 3 months old with both of them starting to try and roll over, their development a little ahead of what's expected, but with their 16 month old brother standing and using furniture to walk anywhere they're around his toys most of their waking hours.

True to his word Jax's working hours had gone back to a reasonable amount, two 8 hour days and three 6 hour days one week, the following week two 6 hours days, three 8 hour days. He was still spending at least a couple of hours a week at either the clubhouse or the various buildings where shipments were starting their inter-state trip from. His Friday nights had been earmarked for family, Saturday's for Sons parties at the clubhouse, but each Saturday night had finished for him at between 1 and 2 am by pulling into the garage at home.

All our peace and quiet, and relative normalcy comes to a crashing halt one Tuesday morning. As I'm walking Jax to the door we both look up Donna's car comes tearing in the driveway, the whole vehicle shaking with the force of her braking, the door open and her out before either of us can move.

Glaring at Jax she points towards the house "Inside. Both of you."

Jax frowns "I've gotta get to TM though."

Donna shakes her head "No. You really don't. You need to get inside so I can ask some questions, and you've gotta answer honestly, and completely, before Clay gets here and rips off your head." She hums to herself "Though he may need to get in line."


	60. Chapter 60

CHAPTER SIXTY

I'm so sorry. This story has taken a back burner while I work on "I Want My Family" the Jax/Wendy story I've just started. Updates for both will be a little slow while I work out how I'm going to split the writing time I have, additionally with a change of work hours coming soon my writing time is already going to be cut in half at least.

We don't even get back through the door into the house when the echo of what sounds like 20 bikes reaches our ears, Jax's head snaps back towards the drive as the first of a line of bikes enters, Clay barely dropping the kickstand before he's on the deck, bypassing the steps entirely, his fist is swinging before Jax can finish the first work of his greeting.

As Jax staggers back the rest of the bikes stop, kickstands dropped and Sons heading towards us, each of them holding a murderous look aimed at my husband. Stepping in front of him I lift both my hands "This is my _home, _and my husband's _home. _No one else is hitting him till I know what the fuck is going on. Got it?" Looking around at the angry expressions on the faces of the men on my deck I cock my head "Did I fucking stutter?"

Everyone slowly nods , eyes still narrowed on Jax. Pushing open the door again I gesture towards them all "Dining room seems to be the best place for this. Clay, is Gemma coming?"

Clay looks at me with a nod "She'll be here soon, with Cam, Al and Lyla."

"What the fuck, did you close one of my stores and TM?"

Donna chuckles, sliding her arm through mine "No. Jerry and Kris are both working. Lyla rang Liana to come in and help Jerry."

I look over at her, even with the laugh I can see she looks irritated and very tense "Wanna tell me what's got your knickers so far up your ass you're using them as dental floss. And did someone piss on Clay's cereal this morning?"

Donna shudders "Firstly. Eww. That's gross, on both counts. Secondly, you're about to find out what's wrong."

Jax sits at the end of the table looking around while everyone else sits, eyes still fixed on him. Clearing his throat he looks towards me "It looks like you're the only one in my court here babe."

Happy growls low in his throat, Clay lifts his hand in silence and then opens his mouth, snapping it closed when I cross the room and sit on Jax's knee "No Clay, if there are still four people not here we'll wait."

Five minutes later Gemma steps into the room, the three women behind her stepping passed and going to empty chairs, Al shrugs and Cam shoots me an apologetic look. "Finally. Now, who's going to explain _calmly_ why the fuck my husband has been under the death glares of everyone in this room for the last 7 minutes or so."

Gemma throws something on the table with an expression on her face like she's just stepped in dog shit in a pair of Louboutin's.

Sitting down she crosses her legs slowly before looking up at Jax and I "Early this morning, in fact so early that no one else was at the garage, Clay and I received a very unwelcome visitor. 2 of them actually."

I frown and look down at Jax before looking back over at Gemma "Okay, and everyone is shooting evil eyes at Jax because of this why?"

Clay lifts his hand and points to the pages "Read them."

Leaning forwards I pick up the pile of pages, going through them it seems it's several different sets of legal paperwork and one letter. The first pile makes me annoyed, the second lot irritated beyond belief, but it's the last pile that makes my blood boil in my veins and my spine turn to steel. Tossing them back on the wood I look around the table, knowing that the heat in my veins is showing through my eyes "That's the first I've seen of any of that shit." Jax nods behind me "Did any of you people who call yourselves _family _bother to ask us how we felt. Ask us if we needed any help with anything. Ask us if we knew anything about it." Looking around the table I slow my gaze over the people that are meant to be the closest to me after my children and my husband.

"I think you should all leave." Jax says his voice like ice. "My wife and I need to discuss what we're going to do about this and the effect, if any, that it will have on our children."

Gemma arches on eyebrow "All four of them?"

Jax pushes my back till I stand, getting to his feet as well "I said you should all leave. Once Sarah and I have discussed this, and found out where we stand legally, then maybe we'll discuss it with you."

I look around the table and frown "I still fail to see why you are all so upset about this. That Jax _may_ have another child isn't anything that affects you, that he's being challenged for Abel's custody by Wendy's parents doesn't affect any of you. As far as I can see the only thing that really has any effect on any of you is that Tara has applied for an internship at St Thomas' and wrote to us all to let us know that she may be coming back to Charming."

Clay shakes his head "With one of Jax's children."

"Alleged child." I retort back without looking at him "And if it is his child then we will figure it out, Jax, myself and Tara." Her name sticks in my throat, the thought of having to deal with her for the rest of my life makes me feel nauseous.

Gemma takes a breath before standing up "You're wrong about that though, Abel, this other child, Tara. It all affects us. If it affects you then it affects us. Having Tara around every day would kill you. Her possibly having Jax's child would be a nightmare. Losing Abel; that's something that gives me nightmares, we're all his family."

"So why were you all so angry?" I ask, sitting back down. My brain unable to see why a bunch of letters have every Son looking so furious.

Clay clears his throat "That might be my fault."

Jax makes a querying sound in the back of his throat as my eyebrow unconsciously lifts in question.

"All this shit was delivered to us. It's not a good morning when an officer of the court is waiting at the garage when we get there in the morning. It was all addressed to Gemma and I for some reason. I told Jax when you got married that if he hurt you he'd answer to me. The guys all arrived for their day just as Gem and I finished reading it all. I may have overreacted."

I snort and glance over at Gemma "And you did too?" She nods and I sigh "So everyone else just saw you two angry at your son and assumed he'd done something that meant he deserved it." I look around the table "Without any of you using your brains. Maybe the Sons should remove that 'brains before bullets' slogan from the wall huh. None of you thought for a second, none asked why Clay was angry. No one actually said a word. Are you all here because you saw Clay going off with a head full of steam, probably muttering death threats about my husband?"

Opie looks sheepishly down at the table while Tig and Happy just exchange a glance and shrug unapologetically.

Bobby shakes his head, his curls flying in all sorts of directions "She's right you know." Ignoring the muffled protests he laughs "Nah, she's got it right. We all heard Clay and Gemma talking, loudly, about Jax and how he was being irresponsible and that this would hurt you before we saw him take off at a great rate of knots. None of us asked why he was angry, not a single one of us thought to ask Gemma what was up. We all just got angry at Jax for whatever we imagined he might have done." Rubbing his hand over his chin he looks down the table at Jax "I for one need to apologise. You've done nothing wrong brother, I'm sorry I overreacted, or reacted without reason."

I shrug my shoulder looking over it at Jax "I still don't understand why this required every single member, and their old ladies, to converge on my house before 9am." Looking around them I note the stiffness in Gemma's shoulders "Unless there's something else you're not telling me."

Gemma signs, straightening in her chair "There were two people at the garage this morning. One was the court officer, the other was Tara. She delivered that letter in person. Invited me and Jax to lunch today to meet her 8 month old daughter, she was 3 months along when she left town."

Jax is shaking his head before I can say a single thing "I'm not meeting her, or this child. Until we know if it's definitely mine." Squeezing my thigh as he sighs "Ring Patrick. Ask him who the best DNA testing company is on this coast. I don't care the cost."

I nod, getting to my feet again, pausing just inside the dining room door "And I think you can all show yourselves out now. Gemma, if you happen to be speaking to Tara let her know that my lawyer will contact her about a DNA test. _If_ the results show Jax is the child's father then he will be in contact with her."

Half way up the stairs I sit down, my back hitting the wall. Leaning forwards I rest my face in my hands and sigh, only slightly startled when a hand lands on my back "Come on chickie. I'll ring Patrick for you. Ali-bean's going to get the kids sorted with Neeta, who just arrived with Rebecca."


	61. Chapter 61

CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE

I'm sorry for my absence, I've been struck by a serious case of the blues lately and I just can't pin point where it's coming from.

Looking up at Cam and Al I force a smile "How come you two are here, being all logical and everyone down there is being Stupid and Idiotic." I aim the last three words down the stairs, lifting my voice a little.

"They're worried about you and how you're going to react. With good reason it seems." Cam replies, pulling me to my feet.

Shaking my head I follow her towards the office, smiling as I hear Al enters Abel's room, his excited babbling cutting off as Cam closes the door. "I'm fine. I don't for a second believe that this kid is Jax's. She's coming here cause she thinks he's brainless and will go meet the kid before getting any tests done, decide by look that it's his and become it's dad."

"Tamsyn." Cam interjects. "The kids name is Tamsyn."

I sigh as I sit down at my desk "Okay, Tamsyn then. I don't believe that Jax is her father. That means she was pregnant when she had surgery, pregnant when she rammed her car into mine, pregnant when she left town. If she was she wouldn't have gone so insane. She would have stayed here and tried to fight for Jax, not accepted defeat."

Cam shrugs, picking up the office phone and dialling "Don't know S. What about Wendy's folks?"

I lean forward, crashing my head to the desk I whisper "I don't know." Shaking my head against the wood I hear Cam talk to Patrick, filling him in quickly on what's happening before she falls silent for what seems like a long time.

Eventually she hangs up the phone and comes to my side "Patrick's going to email through a list of companies in San Francisco that can do the testing. You'll have to let Tara know to take Tamsyn there on whatever day you pick. It'll take between 48 and 72 hours if you want an express test, or 4 or 5 working days if you want a slower and more accurate one."

I look up at her "I want both. I want it is as many forms as possible that this kid is not related to my children."

Cam sits down on the corner of my desk and looks down at me for a long minute, her eyes searching mine "You do know that she could be." I glare at her and she shakes her head "She could be. It's entirely possible. Birth control fails, or people forget. Your twins are proof of that. But you need to think about something. You accused everyone downstairs of forgetting to use their brains. You need to use yours and think of one thing."

"What?" I ask, the word barely passing my lips.

"Tamsyn is innocent in all this. Whether she's Jax's or not she's an innocent child. Yes Tara may be lying through her teeth, and I hope she is, but if she's not then this child will be part of your life for the rest of it. If Jax is her father then that makes her your stepdaughter, your children will have another sibling. You have to be prepared for that, but mostly you need to remember that she's done nothing to deserve being hated for existing." Cam says, looking straight at me.

I sigh, leaning against the desk again, the wood cool against my now flushed forehead "Do I have to. Can't I hate her just for the fact her mother is trying to destroy my life again." I know I sound like I'm whinging, and when I look up at Cam her shoulders are shaking with giggles. Lifting an eyebrow "Glad my pain is amusing to you." I snap at her making her laugh even more.

"You sound like Kenny when D told him he couldn't play GTA5 cause he was only 5 years old, and that the number in it didn't mean it was for his age group." Cam splutters around giggles. "I swear I'm waiting for you to throw yourself on the floor and have a full blown tantrum."

I blink slowly, a smile threatening to cross my lips "Would it make this nightmare stop before it starts? Would Wendy's parents disappear if I did? Would Tara decide that she wants to move to the middle of Madagascar or Bulgaria? Somewhere on the other side of the planet where she can live in a fantasy that it's my fault the world sucks for her."

Sighing again I stand up, feeling the smile fall from my face "We just get work schedules sorted, and manage to arrange it so that we can have some time together and this happens. It's no wonder I feel so exhausted most of the time."

Cam tosses her arm around my neck and pulls me towards the door "Come downstairs, have some coffee, play with your son and we'll wait for that list of places."

I nod, allowing her to pull me from the room. "I'd just like one day where the world doesn't gang up on me."

"Oh S." Cam stops at the top of the stairs and pulls me into a hug, her arms tight around my back as she speaks into my ear "The world isn't ganging up on you. These things are sent to try us, to test us, to check we're doing what we want, that we're happy." Chuckling softly she pulls back a bit and looks at me "After everything you went through to get here, are you really going to lay down and die now?"

I shake my head "No."

Smiling at me she hugs me again "Glad to hear it. Now, all the brainless bikers have gone. By my calculations so has Gemma. Jax is still downstairs with D, Lyla and Al. The kids are with Neeta. Wanna form a rescue party?"

I giggle at the grin on her face as she pulls back and starts down the stairs "Sure, but no black face paint, it took days to get off last time."

"What about leather catsuits?" She asks with a wink.

I blow out a breath of air in a snort "I am not squeezing my fat ass into a catsuit of any sort."

Jax looks up from where he was still sitting at the table "Catsuit, like skin tight, leather. Peel it off with my teeth." A grin crosses his face and he winks at me "I think you should put it on tonight."

I roll my eyes at him, circling the table and sitting on his lap, needing to be as close to him while we talk about the latest pile of manure dropped in our lap "It would take me four times as long to get on as it would for you to get it off again. And as I said to Cam, I'm not attempting to shove my ass into a catsuit I brought a couple of years before I carried two children."

Donna sticks her hand in the air with a grin at me "Can I point out my blind friend that you are the same size now as when you came back to town."

I open my mouth to protest but Cam and Al are both nodding while Lyla looks at me silently "If anything I'd say you're smaller now. But not by much."

Jax laughs behind me "So catsuit?"

Shaking my head I lean back into his chest "No baby. No catsuit. Now, the actual issues at hand. The child that may or may not be yours and some insane people who think they're taking my son away from me."


	62. Chapter 62

First: An announcement; for the second time this month my USB died on me, I am taking this as a sign to stop writing, in honesty I hadn't had the motivation to in a couple of weeks. While the ideas are there, the desire to put fingers to keys isn't. Plus I am moving jobs next week and just won't have the free time I did. I may come back to it in the future, but for the time being this can be classed as being on Hiatus. On that note I have combined all I had written into one chapter.

CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

Jax shrugs "I have no idea."

Cam sighs and leans forwards, propping her elbows on the table "What happens now is that we wait for Patrick to send the list of paternity testing facilities to us. We pick three from the list, book times for samples to be taken, send a letter with the times and dates for Tara to be at the places with her daughter for samples to be taken, then we sit back and wait for the results."

"How long?" Donna asks, frowning.

"S has demanded several different tests done, the first results will be in within 24 hours of the samples being taken. The others will take a week."

Jax nods, his hand running over my back "And if the kid is mine?"

I swallow the lump in my throat and attempt to smile "Then we convert one the other bedrooms into a room for her and get lawyers involved in visitation."

Donna looks stunned but I lift a hand and flick it towards Cam "She reminded me that in all things here the child is completely innocent. If she turns out to be Jax's daughter then she's part of our family and we have to make her welcome. Unfortunately that does mean that Tara will become part of our lives as well." The rock in my chest hardens at that thought but I push it away "If Tamsyn is Jax's daughter then she will always have a place here."

Jax moves under my legs, his right hand coming up to my head, pulling my face till I'm looking at him he spends a few seconds with our eyes locked, the blue of his curious and searching through mine before he wets his bottom lip with his tongue "You seem very relaxed about this."

I snort "There is no way I'm relaxed about this. Once we've at least mapped out some steps we're going out to the range so I can blow holes in some things."

Turning back to the women who now seem firmly on the side of logic and sense I lean forward "So paternity tests are the order of the day with the whole ex/possible child thing. What do we do about Wendy's parents?"

Everyone at the table shrugs apart from Cam who chuckles "I'm going to take the papers with me and email a copy to Patrick who's going to start working on a case." Then she sighs "There are numerous marks against you though. The recent prison sentence, the trial in New York, even though it had nothing to do with him, or you, it's negativity around him. The Sons and their history on the wrong side of the law, even the porn empire that's being built is a black mark. While it's legal there are many who will argue that it's not conducive to a well-adjusted child." I snort and she shrugs "We know Abel's not being raised around the studio, or the distribution centre, or the porn house but half his fathers' income comes from less than blue collar sources."

She glances towards the ceiling and smiles "But you have lots of positives as well. S adopting him and having been there almost from day one. That you've had 2 more children that are his siblings. Owning businesses in town." She shrugs "Patrick suggested something that I'm not sure you'd want to consider."

Jax tenses and I swallow tightly before I manage to whisper "What?"

"He said you could suggest joint custody. Come to some sort of arrangement with Wendy's parents about them seeing Abel, having him stay with them."

Jax is shaking his head before I can answer "Hell no. I've never met them; my son has never met them. They are not going to think they can do this, they're not pulling my family apart." Jax sounds venomous as he speaks his voice a harsh growl which makes Cam smile oddly.

"Glad you said that. Patrick's going to dig as deep as he can into their history, but I need to send him all the shit you've got on Wendy as well."

I get to my feet and head towards the office "All the stuff from the hospital is in the safe. I'll get it and check on Neeta and make sure she's not being overwhelmed."

Returning to the dining room a few minutes later with the folder Anne had handed us that day so many months ago in the hospital I pass the whole thing to Cam "Everything we've got is in there, her birth certificate and their marriage licence as well." Looking over at Jax he grins when he notices the black backpack slung over my shoulder "Neeta knows we're going out for a while, she's fine with the kids. You guys are welcome to stay but I need to go shoot some things."

Jax chuckles as he gets to his feet "Your wish is my command babe. Do I need to let Clay know?"

"No. He can go and stew in his own stupidity for the day. If he or Gemma happens to ring, which I know they will we're out of contact for the day. Jax'll be back at work tomorrow. Lyla, I want a staff meeting tomorrow, both stores. Say 5pm?"

"Sure, I'll go let everyone know." There's a second of silence before she groans "How am I getting back to work?"

Pointing at D I turn on my heel "Ask her, if not use my truck. Keys are hanging up in the store room. I'll pick it up later."

"Don't you need it?" She calls after my retreating back.

"Hell no, we're taking the Viper."

Jax grabs my arm "Hold up a second, I need to get a few things. You good to wait a second?"

I sigh and nod "I'll go sort some food and stuff then, we can stay out all day?"

Jax grins "Sounds like a plan."

It takes Jax another 10 minutes before he reappears, a second backpack in his hand and a huge grin on his face "So we good?"

Rolling my eyes at him I stand up "I've been ready to go for the last 15 minutes."

Jax leads the way towards the door with barely a smirk flashed in my direction "I saw that."

Shrugging a shoulder I follow him through to the garage where he flicks the cover off the Viper with a grin that stretches over his face "I really do love this car."

I smile at him, tossing my backpack towards him "So do I, that's why I brought it. And I'm driving."

Jax signs "I guess I can let you this time."

Poking my tongue out at him I slip into the drivers' seat "Let me, sure lets go with that."

Jax folds himself into the passengers' seat "I'm driving home."

I start the car with a smile crossing my face "I'll see."

Jax waits till I change from reverse into first before setting his hand over mine on the gear stick "I'm driving home."

Glancing over at him I smile "Sure."

Jax doesn't seem surprised when I continue past the turn that would take us to the site of the range sent up in the empty forest behind the bluebird factory, when I bypass the main roads, heading for the open road that winds through empty fields and long stretches of nothing he leans back in the seat with a glance at me "Going somewhere in particular?"

I shake my head, resting my hand on this thigh "Nope. Just felt like a drive first. Get the cobwebs off this and burn some petrol."

Jax laughs and squeezes my hand "Okay babe."

The drive through open roads takes us almost an hour before I finally start heading in the direction of the factory which had held the gun assembly for the Sons and is now the centre of their porn distribution. Driving under the enormous sign that had been made I can't help the chuckle as my eyes cover the compound "You really outdid yourselves."

Jax shrugs, twisting around in his seat "We had good motivation."

"And free advertising in all of Lu's movies." I insert as Jax gestures to the carparks at the back of the warehouse, pulling my car in between Luanne's Mercedes and Bobby's bike. 

"Not really free, it's a partnership. Caracara films and Sons Distribution." He opens the door with a smirk at me "Besides, it was your idea, BV fronted most of the money, but that's why we're in a 75/25 split with Lu. And her 25% is still triple what she was making when she was selling her movies to other distributors."

"And 90% more than when she was selling her ass." I comment with a snicker as I wave at Luann who appears out of one of the doors, the motion sensor alarm system letting her know the second a car had pulled onto the private road.

Crossing the carpark she wraps her arms around my shoulders "Come to finally inspect this mayhem?"

Shaking my head at her I gesture to Jax who's pulling the bags from the car "Nope. Going to go fire some holes in trees. Shouldn't you be at the studio?"

Luann practically drags me towards the warehouse shaking her head "Nope, no filming today. I'm editing from here while I supervise the orders going in and out. Come check out this, it's insane how fast it grew."

Giving up on trying to extricate my hand from hers I follow her as she enters a code into a door, pulls it open and steps into the building, noise level increasing with the first step.

35 minutes later Jax eventually gets us back out the door, his look towards one of the employee's had a shelf of flavoured condoms collapsing in an avalanche of coloured boxes which distracted Lu long enough for us to make our escape.

Breathing in the fresh air outside I lean against his side as he hoists the backpacks onto his shoulder "Plastic, all I can smell is plastic. And is she serious about that place being too small?"

Jax laughs, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the wooded area at the back "I didn't expect her to railroad you into a tour, but yes. In the roughly 6 months it's been open we've doubled her DVD distribution, meaning more space is needed for storage, plus the packs are selling so fast we're barely getting stock in the door before we're ordering more to keep up with demand. Only reason we haven't expanded the building is we're not sure if it's a novelty cause we're new or not."

I nod as I stick my free hand into my pocket as we walk between two trees and down the oddly formed path which leads to the unofficial gun range the Sons have created "I guess I should have made time to come out some day and check it out, this is the first time I've been out here since the redecoration was finished."

Jax laughs loudly, a couple of birds take flight from the tree up above us and he continues to chuckle for the 5 minutes it takes us to weave between the trees to the clearing full of hay bales, heading straight for what seems like a huge toolbox Jax opens the door and pulls out a staple gun and several targets "How far away you want these?"

I shrug and watch as he sets targets up on a number of different distances before coming back to my side "That good?"

Looking at him out of the corner of my eye I smirk "I'm sure I'll do fine baby."

Jax finally sets the two backpacks on the hay bale in front of us and leaves me alone while he unzips his, pulling out what sounds like a whole lot of ammunition. Glancing over I roll my eyes "Four boxes? Really?"

Jax chuckles, setting his gun beside one box before reaching back into the backpack and pulling out another pistol almost identical to his and one that looks eerily familiar. "Thought you might want this one back too."

Handing me the small black and silver gun I'd passed to Chief Unser over a year ago I blink at him in stunned silence making his smile widen.

"Yes. I finally rendered you speechless." Jax's smile doesn't fade from his face while he finishes unloading his backpack which in the end held a spare magazine for both his 'everyday' gun and several other pistols and magazines which look vaguely familiar but I can't quiet place till he looks over with a smile still tugging his lips. "Your bloody uncle insisted that I bring one of these huge things for you to try, which got us into a discussion about which sort of pistol you'd be the most comfortable with."

Setting my starter gun down beside the pale pink handled Smith And Wesson I've only looked at I cross and look over his shoulder. "What the heck are they? And don't say 'Guns' cause you might be walking home."

Jax lifts his arm and rests it across my shoulder "Which one first? I'll tell you about them then you get to try them."

Pointing to the one that looks the most familiar he chuckles "That's the one Clay suggested. It's a Heckler &amp; Koch USP Expert. 9mm, 18 round magazine. It's the one he uses."

Looking at him with wide eyes he shakes his head "It's not his babe. It's one of his spares. Apparently one can never have enough spare guns."

Rolling my eyes he picks it up, flicks on the safety and passes it to me. Before I even lift it I know I'm not going to like it. Looking through my eyelashes at him I sigh "It's too heavy to be comfortable. He insisted I at least fire them didn't he?"

Jax nods "Yep. You know him."

I purposefully wait till Jax is behind me before moving the safety off and lifting it to aim at the target closest to us "I know it's too heavy. It's ungainly to lift. Can't we lie?"

Jax laughs and wraps his arms around my waist, sliding his hands over mine and pushing my finger out of the way of the trigger. Pulling it gently it's further confirmed that I don't want one like it when even though Jax is controlling the gun the kick back into my arms sends me back into his chest.

Shaking my head I watch him as he sets it back down after ejecting the magazine "Definitely not. Next."

Jax gestures to the other three on the table "You pick."

Looking over his arm I sigh "Someone's going to be beyond pleased with them if it's a Son that's suggested each of these. And carries them as norm."

Jax nods "Stop stalling."

"That one looks like Opie's, and that looks like Tig's." Jax looks at me with a certain respect lighting his eyes "You'd be right. Glock 17, Ope's weapon of choice. 17 round capacity, but can be increased to anything up to 33. Not that we're doing that for you babe. It's only got 5 rounds in it." Inserting the clip he hands it to me with a smile "You should be okay with that one. Very little kickback according to him."

I snort "Yeah, you're talking about a man who's four times my weight on a good day." Shrugging I turn and aim at the same target "It's certainly a better weight then the last one." Squeezing the trigger the sudden noise surprises me, as it always has. By the time I empty the 5 rounds solidly into the target with a smile I'm used to the noise again.

Setting it down beside my pink one I grin at him "I do like that one. Tig's next."

"Tig's is actually a Ruger SR9. This one is slightly different then his though, it's a SR9c. It's the smallest of the range that Ruger do. Tiggie actually seemed to put a lot of thought into it before he suggested this. 10 or 17 round clips, fractionally lighter than the Smith &amp; Wesson I brought you."

I site the target the next distance away from us and feel a shot of disappointment when the last of the 5 rounds fires. "I liked that one."

Jax chuckles "Lastly another Glock, this one's a Glock 26. Much smaller than the 17. Smaller capacity too. This one only holds 10 rounds, but can be done up to 33 again. The magazine on this one is full, 17 rounds."

Cocking my head to the side I smile slightly "Who's pick was this?"

"Guess." Jax says with a smirk.

"I'm thinking that cause it's got a full clip, it's not only your choice, but it's actually yours, one of the many that is tucked in the back of the safe?"

Jax laughs and nods "You'd be right, now have a play."

Shaking my head I wait till my shoulders stop shuddering with laughter before picking up the second smallest of the guns on display. "Can you reload the Ruger for me?"

Jax mock salutes me waiting till I turn back to the targets to open one of the boxes of ammunition and eject the magazine from the Ruger.

It's over an hour later when I finally have enough of blowing holes in things, the initial targets Jax had put up had been changed four times during that period, and he'd had a turn with each of the guns as well, bar the pink one which he refused to touch for fear it would get back to his brothers that he'd used a pink Smith &amp; Wesson.

Resting between Jax's legs as he leans against one of the hay bales in the mid afternoon sun twitches his arm against my side "So, picked one?"

I shake my head with a pout "I still can't pick between the Ruger and the Glock 26. Though why I need three guns of my own I don't know." Twisting my head so I can look at him "How many do you actually own?"

Jax is silent for a while, his fingers twitching on my thighs "Twelve." At my frown he clarifies "I have four Springfield's, two Buretta's, two Glock 17's like Ope's plus the 26 up there, and 3 rifles. Before you ask why I have so many I don't know. Bit like you and your shoes, and corsets." I blow a raspberry into mid-air making him chuckle. "Most of them are stored elsewhere though. Only three are at home all the time, in the safe, and before you ask it's the Glock 26, and the two spare Springfields, obviously I carry one of the Springfields most of the time."

"And the rest of them are split between TM, Caracara, BV and the porn warehouse. Plus maybe a couple at Gem's." I state with a smug smile.

"How did…nope, never mind." Jax asks, the sound of his head shaking against the loose straw.

"How did I know?" Looking over my shoulder at him I smile "Simple, Gem and Clay finally invested in that huge safe in their wardrobe, mostly cause I told Gemma repeatedly that hat boxes were not the place to store a million illegal pistols, especially when D's twins are starting to climb. I think every single Son got the warning from her not long after that about safes for guns with the kids around. But that's not how I knew. You're too controlled to have them all in one place. You never know where you're going to be when shit happens."

Jax snickers and nuzzles his nose into my neck "There you go with that logic. You're right though. I've got one Buretta at Caracara in the office safe, one Glock at BV in the dead room safe, the other Buretta is in the porn warehouse in the top desk draw and all two rifles at TM, one at Ma's along with a Springfield and a Glock 17."

Falling into a thoughtful silence Jax leaves me to the wheels spinning in my head, the obvious train of my thought still debating between the handful of fire power at my disposal. "What about if I did what you've done. Have two at home, one on me and one at Gem's." I muse quietly after a few minutes.

"How would you split them?" Jax asks, his arms tightening around me.

"Chief's special on me all the time, it's the smallest and easiest to conceal. Smith &amp; Wesson and Ruger at home and the Glock at Gem's with yours."

Jax chuckles into my skin, his lips brushing my neck as he speaks "You know I almost picked you'd do something like that."

I shrug the opposite shoulder from where he is and snuggle back further to his arms "Clay will be the only one disappointed, but really, that thing he uses is like a small rocket launcher, there is no way I'd be able to handle that without ending up on my ass."

Jax snickers again, his hands coming up and rubbing over my forearms "How are your arms? You got a bit more kickback from your Smith &amp; Wesson then you were expecting."

Sighing as he rubs his hands over my bicep I nod "It's a little sore, but I'll be fine. We should head back though shouldn't we?"

Jax shakes his head, his lips pressing against my neck again "I thought we could stay here a bit longer." A shudder runs up my back as he licks a trail from the junction of my shoulder up the side of my neck "Just a bit longer." He whispers, nipping at my earlobe. "I'm enjoying the fresh air."

Turning in his arms he relaxes his grip just enough for me to move to my knees between his thighs "You're a shocker you know that?" I ask with a small smile, my hands lifting to the button on the top of his flannel shirt, flicking it undone my lips twist into a smirk "You've had two of your favourite things today already. Do you really need a third?"

As I speak I slowly undo his buttons, my eyes flicking between his shirt and his face which is in as relaxed an expression as he ever really gets. Undoing the final button Jax pulls me forwards by my elbows "I wasn't pushing for anything in particular, but if you're offering I'm not saying no."

His eyes flick down to my mouth a second before his lips crash onto mine, his kiss an almost hard meeting of mouths, till he pulls back a fraction and lightens the pressure till his lips are barely touching mine "Are you offering babe?"

Slipping my hands under his t-shirt I purse my lips and lean back "Shut up."

Jax chuckles, his mouth fastening to mine again as his hands slide up my back, pulling my singlet and t-shirt off my head in one movement.

Moving backwards Jax makes a sound of disappointment till I get to my feet, kicking off my sneakers as I undo my jeans, pushing the denim down my legs. While I'm removing the bottom half of my clothes Jax lifts his shirt off and undoes his belt, sliding his jeans just barely over his hips and midway down his thighs. When I'm sitting back on his lap he leans forward and kisses my shoulder "I like this one." Reaching behind me he undoes the clasp of my bra and drops it on top of my shirts "But I like it more off."

Giggling he seems transfixed as my body shudders with laughter which makes me bite my lip to stop the shakes. Blinking his eyes it's a mixture of desire and disappointment that shines at me. Before he can open his mouth I lean forward and capture his lips with mine, tugging lightly on his bottom lip with my teeth.

Allowing my brain to shut down for the next while our bodies move in a familiar dance that features more sighs then symbols and no fancy footwork.

Resting my head against Jax's chest while our breaths return to normal, the breeze that's drifting through the clearing drying the sweat on my back into an uncomfortable tight feeling on my skin.

"What are we going to do baby?"

Jax kisses the top of my head "Get dressed and go home?"

Peeling my cheek of his shoulder I twist my head so I can look up at him "I mean about the Case's and their petition to take away our son."

Jax signs and starts moving, waiting while I get to my feet and pick up my clothes before standing up behind me and pulling his jeans up "I don't know babe. I guess we wait and see how serious they are. I was thinking though."

Lifting an eyebrow I wait while he does up his belt and pulls his shirt over his head "Well?"

Jax chuckles as he passes me to start repacking the backpacks, tossing the now empty ammunition boxes to the side "What about talking to them about them having visitation, like Patrick suggested."

My mouth drops open as my heart stops, my hands falling numbly to my sides while my brain tries to comprehend what my husband has just suggested.

It takes Jax almost a whole 90 seconds to realise that I haven't said a word and when he turns around to look at me surprise covers his face "What?"

"Did you actually mean that?" I ask, using force of will to keep my voice relatively normal.

"What, that we should let Abel have time with his grandparents?" At my nod he shrugs "Yeah, why?"

Sighing deeply I shove my feet in my sneakers and reach past him to pick up my now repacked bag "I only have 2 questions on that issue. First; do you honestly think it would be best for our 17 month old son to be around people he's never met before? And secondly; how are you going to explain who they are?"

Jax grabs my arm just before I can walk off, my anger bubbling at him. "Think for a second babe. The alternate to this is that we could lose. We could have our son taken off us. Brains before bullets, or in this case brains before law suits. Isn't it better to have an agreement then risk it all?"

I shake my head "I am thinking." I snap at him "It's not better for him to see her parents at all. They live in Washington. How do you think visitation would work? Can you see them driving 15 hours each way to see him twice a month cause I can't. And he wouldn't be going there without a parent there, and I'm not putting three children all under the age of 2 in a car for that long." I pull my arm out of his hand, which I'd been working at while I'd been speaking, his grip finally loosening enough for my now red skin to slip out of his grasp. "And as to explaining who they are

'Oh I'm sorry Abel, as much as we love you, you're going to have to go spend some time with these people you don't know, who wouldn't know the first thing about you cause they happen to be the parents of the gash who brought you into this world. No, the woman we all call your Mommy is not really your Mom. She loves you more than anything on the planet though and it's going to tear her apart a little bit each time you have to go see your real mom's parents, but we have to in order to save some time, effort and money.' I'll tell you something Jax, I don't care how much it time, effort, energy or money takes me I will _not_ lay down and let them take my son off me."

Jax's face had changed through my rant at him, by the end of it he looks confused and shocked, with an apologetic shine to his eyes "Babe I did not mean it like you just tried to say." He sighs and picks up the other bag "Lets head back and talk about this. Please."

I wave my arm in the arm and let him walk past me. After walking in silence for less than 30 seconds I exhale loudly "So how did you mean it?"

Jax reaches over and grabs my hand, pausing till I'm walking beside him "What I meant is that it's easier for him, and for you, to not have to fight this battle. Do you really want to have to go through family services being in our faces every day? Isn't it easier to come to an arrangement with them?"

I shake my head "No it's not. Not unless they're willing to come to my terms."

Jax squeezes my hand "And would you give them a chance to hear your terms, on even footing, as adults. Cause at the moment babe you're acting a bit like Kenny at bed time."

I snort "If they want to meet my terms that's fine. My terms are this; they come here once to see if Abel likes them. If he doesn't then they fuck off, never to come back. If he likes them he can see them one day a month for three hours in Charming. They do not allude to their daughter at all, not by photo, word, grave, video, nothing. If they do they don't see him again. Abel knows nothing about Wendy. They can be introduced by their names; they do not get any title. Abel does not know they have a genetic connection to them, or anything about their daughter until we decide he's ready." I lift an eyebrow at Jax "Think they'll agree to that."

Jax frowns "No probably not."

"Exactly." I throw my arms in the air, a tree branch smacking one as I walk, but I ignore the pain while I attempt to make Jax see where I'm coming from "They're going to want to tell Abel about their daughter, and they're only going to tell him the good things. They're not going to tell him about how she was so high on a daily basis that she forgot to eat most days. They're not going to tell him she was in rehab five times. They're not going to tell him it was drugs that killed her, and almost killed him. They're not going to tell him that she tricked you into marrying her, and then got pregnant to keep you around. They are going to paint her in the best light they can and then when we try and tell him the truth about his mother, that while she was a good child, she was a horrible adult, and a horrible wife and mother."

"Babe, he's not even 18 months old yet. They could tell him that the moon is made of blue cheese and the sky is blue cause it's a giant's underpants and he wouldn't know the difference." Jax halts his steps pulling me to a stop. "I know what you're worried about Sarah, and it won't happen. I will not let them try and sugar coat everything Wendy did. She is not going to become a ghost that haunts you." Looking down at me he smiles "Besides Mommy I do agree with you on a couple of your conditions, and they're ones I would have put in place anyway."

"Which ones?" I ask, my imagined anger at Jax dissipating when I realise like a slap in the face that he agrees with me. "And I'm sorry."

Shrugging a shoulder he tosses an arm around my waist and pulls me to his chest "It's okay. You get very protective of the kids, as you should." He says quickly, catching the look I aim at him. "I agree that they do not discuss Wendy at all. It's our choice as Abel's parents when he finds out about her. I'm thinking he'll be in double digits before we tell him anything. And I agree and meetings between them must be in the state. Though, I think we can loosen that enough to include Sacramento and San Francisco. They're close enough to drive to, and if they want to see him they can fly there."

Leaning into his chest he strokes my back "Did you really think I was going to side with them babe? You should know my order of priorities is my children, you and my club. Everything else can go to hell in a handbasket for all I care."

I snort on a giggle at Jax using the term 'hell in a handbasket' but look up at him I attempt a smile "I just don't understand how it could be easier letting a stranger into our family."

Jax tugs lightly on the bottom of my hair till I look up at him "It's not going to be easy. Nothing is every easy when it involves bringing more people into our lives, I think for the stress you would feel, and the whole Tara shit, taking the smooth path with this one is the right thing to do, for all of us."

Inhaling a deep breath I straighten my shoulders, pick up my backpack from where I'd dropped it on the ground and nod "Yep, and the first step in taking the smooth path is talking to Albert and Andrea." Taking a few steps I pause "What if they don't agree to our terms?"

Jax catches up with me, lifts my hand and kisses the back of my knuckles lightly "If they don't then we negotiate. That's why we start with a list of 10 things they must meet; eventually the two we're dead set on will seem fair and reasonable."

I giggle and nod, walking back into the blazing sun "I'm going to go see Lu for a minute. Put these in the car then go in?"

Jax smirks at me "Sure thing Ma'am. I'll go see Bobby when I come in. He's been supervising today."

"Sure, supervising. Is that what they call him sitting in a back room with a bottle of whiskey, a bag of pot and a stack of DVD's."

Jax wrinkles his nose "If there's a box of tissues and a bottle of moisturiser I am NOT going in there."

I snicker as we dump the bags in the back of the car and turn towards the door. Jax punches in the 6 digit code to open the door and cracks the metal with a smile "Ahh plastic, the smell of money."

Luann laughs when I pose my request to her before lifting herself from her desk and walking around it "Let's go." She says with a smile, pulling me out of her office by my elbow. "And none of that stupid idea of giving me any money for anything."

25 minutes later her and I have dug through the racks and boxes and beside me there's a small pile of material and cardboard. "I should pay you for this Lu. It's not fair."

She shakes her head for the 10th time since we left her office "No. You shouldn't. And if you want to seriously, then lend me your car for a movie, you can have unlimited access to all stock then."

I blink at her, my eyes widening as I realise she's serious "There will be no sex in my car, either of them."

Lu bursts into laughter "Oh hell no. Do you know how hard it is to film car sex, let alone car sex in a car as small as that? I want it for a DVD cover, and in background shots in one film currently in writing."

I purse my lips as we walk through the building, my sneakers quiet on the floor as the clicking of her heels echo "Okay." She grins at me until I hold up a finger "On a couple of conditions. One, anyone in it is wearing proper clothes. No uncovered ass touching my leather." She snorts as she nods "No sex in it, which we've already covered. The number plate does not make an appearance at all."

Lu nods again with a huge smile "Sure thing. I'll let you know when I want it."

Jax appears behind us, takes one look at the pile in my arms and smiles so wide his ears twitch "Heard you two coming. It echoes in here really badly. If you're talking about the Viper Lu, it gets groomed when you're done." His smile fades to a more normal one "Though of course if you happen to talk to Otto about it I'm sure he can find someone at TM to do it."

Luann smiles, hugs us both and then walks back towards her office "Have a nice afternoon kids."

Exchanging a look with Jax I mouth 'Kids?' his responding shrug is silent, but as he pulls me towards the door he calls a goodbye over his shoulder, a chorus of byes coming back from all corners, echoing through the rafters.

As we walk back towards the car I slip my arm around Jax's waist "So the building is too small already?"

Jax nods, lifting the offered keys from my hand "Yeah, within about a week it was too small. We're not sure if it's the novelty of Sonara Distribution being new that has us so busy, or that we're offering things no other company really does." Glancing around the empty space he shrugs "We're already talking about expanding, but the decision was made to give it at least a year first. That'll show whether it's a novelty or actual business level. In the meantime we have stock orders arriving every two weeks."

Starting the car Jax drives randomly for a while, most of it in silence. When he finally turns onto the highway to head home he glances over "Do you want to get Patrick involved from now?"

"With what baby?" I ask, twisting in the seat to look at him.

"Both current issues we have with offspring."

I shake my head "He's already working on the whole custody thing. Tamsyn is easy enough I guess. Well, the first step is. We need to get DNA testing done." 

Jax nods "We can get that done this weekend. Do you want me to ring Tara and arrange it?"

I shake my head furiously "No. I think it's better if a third party lets her know. I'll see if Lyla will ring her for us."

"Okay. What about Abel and Wendy's folks?" Jax brakes and coasts to a stop, the traffic in front of us at a standstill "Better ring Ma and see if she can relieve Neeta at 5, we're not going to get through this by then."

Making the requested phone call I drop my phone back into the centre console and lean back into the leather of my seat "I'm not sure about how to go with Wendy's parents. Do we send them a letter with our requests?"

Jax shrugs "I really don't know. Maybe we should ask Patrick about that, seeing he's working on it already."

Picking up my phone again I type a quick email to Patrick as we inch along, hitting send as the traffic clears a little and we manage to move 10 metres in one go, instead of the inch by inch that we had been. "He'll come back to me tomorrow I guess, if not sooner."

Jax nods as the traffic inches further along the reason for the hold-up reveals itself, a huge semi is stopped on top of a very small car, the front wheels of the truck on the ground on the other side of it while the two other sets of wheels are resting on top of the car. As we crawl past Jax shakes his head in disbelief, a slurred voice drifting through the window "My car is totalled!"

Due to the slow speed of the traffic Jax and I both hear another voice "Count yourself lucky you weren't in it." The second voice ends up belonging to a highway patrol officer, standing a foot beside the handcuffed and rather ruffled looking owner of a now 6 inch high white corvette.

Shaking his head Jax whistles "Lets not play chicken with a truck."

My eyes wide I nod "Sounds like a plan babe."

The back log of traffic eventually clears over the next five minutes and Jax relaxes back in his seat as we cruise back up to the speed limit.

We're about five minutes from home when my phone chirps in my bag, pulling it out I blink at it several times before opening it "Patrick, it's the middle off the night on that coast, what are you doing up?"

Patrick sounds very awake and beyond hyper as he starts chattering a million miles a minute "Oh, I was out at the opera, then I had to come back here to catch up on some work that I didn't do today so that I wasn't late, but then I got your email and started looking into the latest of your ever so consistent dramas. You should count yourself lucky you have me on a set rate, I could be charging overtime for this." With a chuckle I hear him moving papers, and tapping keys "But the reason for the call, it's not a good idea for you to go in blind to either of your new situations so I'm coming over again, you're going to put me up in that spare room of yours for as long as it takes to get everything done." With a second chuckle he clears his throat "Sorry, was just thinking I should just move over to that coast."

I nod silently as he continues to speak "I'll be flying in at 4 pm tomorrow, pick me up in San Francisco, I'm bringing over rough drafts of the custody agreement I think would be the best for you, it's completely up to your negotiations, but you haven't told me if the incubator's parents have a lawyer involved, or wanna be doctor insane does?"

I laugh at both terms "I know that Wendy's parents do, don't think the ex does." Glancing over at Jax I pull the phone away from my ear "It's Patrick, he's hyped up on either sugar or coke." Catching his tightening eyes I laugh "As in the drink, he's overly sensitive to caffeine, poor bastard. He wants to know if tarty has a lawyer?"

Jax shrugs "Dunno babe. Check the papers when we get home, but I think it was only one lot that came via a lawyer."

Lifting the phone back to my ear I snicker at Patrick's off key whistling "I'll scan and send you the paperwork when we get back to the house. Now, go home and sleep off whatever it is you've been drinking."

"Fine I'll wait for the papers but I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." I hear a raspberry being blown at me just before the call disconnects.

Shaking my head I drop my phone back in my bag and lean back into the seat "It's hard to believe that man is a lawyer and a stock broker all in one. Sometimes he has the behaviour of Hap when there's no cupcakes. To sum up, he's flying in tomorrow, staying with us, till we sort out this shit. But I think he's got something up his sleeve." I mutter, closing my eyes and trying to think what it is my devious lawyer could be planning.

Even with the roads clearing it still takes us another half an hour to get home, pulling into the garage Jax turns the car off and glances over at me "You okay?"

I shrug, pushing the door open and getting to my feet "I'm not sure. I think all the stuff just sunk in. We have your dead wife's parents, who also happen to be your oldest sons grandparents suddenly crawling out of the woodwork wanting to see their grandson. We have your ex showing up in town with a child she claims is yours, announcing that she's moving back to town. Could the two things have been timed better? Hell yes. Am I doing okay? Not really."

"Let go inside, get a drink, find some food then sit down and relax." Jax says, pulling both bags from the trunk of the car "But I'll deal with these first."

Giggling as we walk towards the house I nod "I'll find food, you deal with guns and ammo."

Because we were so delayed on the road the twins are already in bed sleeping, Abel's bathed, feed and ready for bed as well. Gemma looks over when we walk in the door and cocks her head to the side "You doing okay?"

I shrug, opening the fridge and pulling out the chicken I'd left in there "I'm not sure Gem. It's still a bit overwhelming."

Gemma props herself on one of the stools with Abel snuggled into her shoulder while I start on dinner, stuffing the chicken breasts with garlic butter then wrapping them in bacon and enclosing the whole lot in tin foil "I guess it's just a big thing, custody, more children. I'm at a loss as to where to go now."

Jax arrives in the kitchen door with rustle of material, stopping to kiss his mom on the cheek he opens the fridge, pulls out a beer and pops it open "Patrick will help." Gemma lifts her eyebrow and Jax shrugs "He's coming back, lands tomorrow afternoon."

"4pm. He's bringing papers over with him. Actually, that reminds me." Washing my hands I collect the papers, go upstairs, scan and email them and then come back down stairs as the oven reaches temperature.

"Papers emailed off?" Jax asks as he flicks through the pages of a huge magazine.

"Yes. And you know that's an order catalogue don't you?"

Jax shrugs and picks up a pen "There's some pretty hot stuff in here babe." With a hum he circles something and folds the top of the page over.

Gemma bursts into laughter and gets to her feet "I'll take this one up to bed and then be off, Clay's waiting for dinner."

Reaching behind myself into the freezer I pull out two Tupper wear containers and slide them across the bench "Left on is beef casserole, right one is lasagne."

Picking up the containers Gemma grabs her bag from the table and chuckles as she steps from the tiles to the carpeted hall "Trying to get rid of me?"

Jax shakes his head, getting to his feet and walking towards the door, his voice carrying "No, but she's a bit upset, and stressed."

"And tired, worried, confused." Gemma finishes "I get it. I'll see you tomorrow? Bring her in, we'll go for lunch somewhere."

"Can't Gem." I call from the kitchen "I've got a bunch of stuff to do. Maybe next week."

"Okay baby, have fun." Gemma calls back as the door opens, seconds later it closes again and Jax appears in the kitchen door.

"What have you got this week?"

"Patrick arriving tomorrow. I've got to go to the stores this weekend to check in and be there to help Lyla with the stock take she's getting overwhelmed with orders coming in and getting everything on the shelves, we've got no idea what we have on hand at the moment. Jerry's handling things okay, but that might have to do with the fact he has a degree in business management. I've basically handed everything over to him for that." Pausing to put on a pot for some pasta I glance at the list on the fridge "Groceries, I'll have to do them day after tomorrow when Neeta's here actually. I haven't touched my PC in weeks other than to do quick things, so I'm sure I have lots of emails to go through. Oh, and I want to get Juice to set up laptops for the businesses, synced to mine if it's possible but I'll ask him that."

Jax shakes his head and I shrug "It's less than it would be if it weren't for Neeta, Lyla, Jerry and the accountant you hired. Without them I'd have to add on taking care of the kids 24/7 and running both stores, including all the finances."

Jax laughs and opens a second beer "You're right there. After dinner by the way we're going to be cleaning all the guns." At my lifted eyebrow he laughs "Plenty of newspaper in the garage to set on the table before you have an aneurism."

Poking my tongue out at him I relapse back into my thinking about what Patrick has up his sleeve that he was so cagey about.

Jax silently returns to my magazine, the occasional murmured word coming from him amongst the rustle of pages.

25 minutes later I nudge his shoulder as I pass with a plate of garlic bread "Dinners ready, and are you ordering stuff for the store?"

Jax shudders "Hell no, I'm ordering stuff for me. Well you actually."

"Stuff I wear, you enjoy?" I ask with a chuckle as I drain the pasta.

"That's the one. What we eating?"

When dinner is finished, the dishes in the oven and the pair of us are curled into our bed Jax finally broaches the subject again, tension in his eyes "Don't get grumpy again, but are you really okay?"

I nod, my cheek moving against his shoulder "Yeah, at the moment I am. Anything could change between now and tomorrow when Patrick arrives but for the time being I'm doing okay." I lean down and kiss his chest "Besides, we agreed on the 10 conditions we'd start with and the 2 that are absolutely set in stone. There realy isn't anything we can do beyond that."


	63. Chapter 63

CHAPTER SIXTY-THREE

Not sure how much more there will be, I have no time to write between working, sleeping, eating, cooking, shopping (for food, not the fun stuff), making food. It's taken me the best part of a month to get this chapter written which is why it may seem a little disjointed, so apologies if it is.

As the sun pours in through the curtains we forgot to close Jax shuffles around the bed, his eyes blinking sleepily at me "Did you sleep at all?"

I shrug, turning on to my side "I'm not sure baby, I think I had maybe two hours."

Pulling my into his arms he nuzzles my hair "Was it the kids?"

I shake my head "No, they did cry once, but I was already awake. I guess I'm just worried about what Patrick's going to say."

Jax lifts his hand and presses his finger to my chin till I look at him "We'll find out when he gets here this afternoon, and we'll pick the DNA places. Patrick can tell _her_ where to take the kid." There's no hiding the irritation in his voice when he alludes to Tara.

"Four, remember."

Jax chuckles as he nods "Four DNA tests, 2 rapid and 2 in depth I remember Sarah. And he can pass the list of conditions on to Wendy's parents."

Kissing his chin I slide from his arms, ignoring his muttered protests "Neeta will be here in 20 minutes, Abel is awake and Doj want's his breakfast and a bathroom."

Jax sighs throwing the blankets back "Guess I better get up?"

I giggle and nod "Yep. Can you grab Abel, I'll get the gates and dog while I start on breakfast."

Jax grabs my hand just before I can step into the laundry "Lets go out for breakfast. Just you and me. I've gotta be at BV at 10." Quirking his eyebrow he chuckles "Are you free?"

I look up at the ceiling for a second while I think "Yeah, I'm free." Gggling as I look back at him I shake my head "Why do I feel like we need a calendar in our kitchen for when we're both free?"

Jax shudders "Nope. I'll just take you when I want."

Lifting an eyebrow "Really?"

Jax's eyes darken as he looks down at me "Yes really." Leaning down he presses his lips to mine "You're mine babe." His fingers trail up my arm bringing goosebumps up on my skin. "We've talked about this before." Letting go of my hand he chuckles at the flush on my cheeks and steps into his side of the wardrobe, his voice drifting out of the door "Your smiles, your laugh, your breath, your skin, your body, your orgasms, your pussy, your tits, your ass. It's all mine. Your thoughts, dreams, desires, needs, wants they're all mine too."

I'm still standing there with my mouth hanging open a little when he appears in front of me again, dressed for the day in a red flannel shirt, jeans and kutte. "I'll go get Abel and let the monster out. Get dressed. I don't want you getting a cold."

His fingers ghost across my arm as he steps past "Love you."

Shaking my head I hear him walk into Abel's room and pick up the babbling boy.

After getting dressed I head down stairs where Jax has the back door open, Doj's food in his bowl. His hand freezes on the door to the fridge when he looks at me "What are you wearing?"

Glancing down at my dress I shrug "I'm putting in an appearance at the store today, Lyla's having a day off so I'm wearing something we sell." The black dress with red cap sleeves, large collar, buttons and belt isn't drastic, the knee length longer than most of the dresses I own "Why? What's wrong with it?"

Jax shakes his head, his eyes flashing "Nothing babe, but I was going to take you on the bike."

I press a kiss to his lips after pulling the coffee from the freezer "I thought I'd take the Viper today, give it a run, then I can use it to get Patrick from the airport later." I snicker "Really it's just an excuse to drive it."

Jax shakes his head "I'm surprised you don't use it to go get the mail."

Neeta arrives while I'm finishing the coffee, just as the front door closes behind her the first noise of the morning emerges from the baby monitors in the twins room, Jax and Neeta almost bang into each other in their steps to get upstairs and through the monitor I hear them laughing as they change the kids.

The day at the store turns out busier then I expected and when I glance at the clock at 1pm I realise I'm not going to make it to the airport to collect Patrick, Al agrees without hesitation and I turn my attention back to the register as a pretty blonde teenager approaches.

"Hi Mrs Teller, how are you?" Her smile is faintly familiar but it's not till I meet her hazel eyes that I realise who it is.

"Afternoon Tristen, I'm good. How are you, hows your mom and dad?"

"They're good, Mom gave me money for my birthday last week, and I finally had enough to get the shoes that Lyla put aside for me, they're in the store cupboard."

I turn to collect her shoes, digging through a number of boxes that are set aside as for customers with Lyla's neat writing on with dates and amounts. The box for Tristen is at the bottom of the pile, a pair of pale pink and white sneakers with a wedge heel unusual for something we'd order, but Lyla's note on the top of the box that it was a special order makes me frown for a second.

Returning to the counter I bite back the smile that twitches my lips, Tristen is in the far corner of the store by the rack of dresses, talking to someone who appears to be in their early 20s, the easy way she's talking about the two dresses the other person is holding keeps my quiet as I listen to her discuss the brands of the two dresses.

When she finishes her conversation, the older girl carrying both dresses towards the changing rooms she turns to the front, her face flaming with colour when she sees me wtching "Sorry."

I smile at her and rest my hand on the shoebox "How often are you here?"

Tristen's blush doesn't fade when she starts twisting her fingers "Umm, at least twice a week. I like to watch Lyla unpack the orders."

I humm lightly "And do you help her?"

Tristen swallows loudly "Sometimes. Lyla's not going to get in trouble is she?"

I shake my head "No, honey, not at all."

Tristen almost deflates with the relief that I can see on her face, once her shoes are paid for and she's left I serve the other customer, asking her how she felt taking advise from the young girl. When she leaves I sit at the register and have a converstation with Lyla via text while I check the cash level in the till, plus the change float in the small safe.

As the afternoon winds down I finally have a few minutes where the store is empty, the door at the base of the stairs locked from the inside, with the closed sign attached. Picking up my cell phone again I scroll through the directory before dialling.

"Oswald." The answer is short and sharp and I mentally roll my eyes

"Hey Eli, how you doing?" 

"Sarah, I'm okay. What can I help you with? Not another flight to Belfast?"

I chuckle "No, not at all. I'm actually ringing about Tristen."

"What's wrong, where is she, did she break something, is she okay?" Elliot's questions rush out at a million miles an hour until my laughing breaks his concentration "So I'm guessing she's fine?"

I chuckle "Yes she's fine. She was in here a few hours ago, she was heading to the library then home in time for dinner. But I was ringing cause I forgot how old she is, and I wanted to check with you before I offer her a part time job."

Elliot's breathing is the only thing I hear for a few seconds before he clears his throat "She's just turned 13 so she's probably a bit young for a part time job."

"Damn." I mutter "Oh well. Back to the drawing board. But keep in mind I'm going to come to her in a year or so and offer her a part time job."

Elliot lets me know there'll be another progress report in my mail shortly and just after that we disconnect the call. Walking down the stairs I wave goodbye to the two girls behind the counter, neither of them I've met before but they're both aware that I own the store from my comings and goings, and Jerry calling me 'Boss Lady' every time I walk through the door.

Finding Jax leaning against the car causes a momentary panic, but the easy smile that stretches across his mouth when I step out melts the tension from my shoulders.

"Hey babe." Jax pushes off the car, enfolding me in his arms and pressing his lips to mine.

"Hi." I whisper when he releases my mouth "Not that I don't love being surprised by you after work, but why are you here?"

Jax chuckles "Patrick's waiting at TM for you, and you weren't answering your phone, I wanted to make sure you weren't rushed off your feet."

"I was talking to Elliot and heard it beeping another call, but never checked it. Sorry baby." Giggling at him I cock my had to the side "What were you going to do if I was busy?"

Jax laughs and lets go of me "I'm not sure about that babe, all I kow is that you didn't answer your phone and I was out the gate of TM before anyone knew what was going on."

Pulling my keys from my bag I look over my shoulder "Weren't you meant to be at Bella today?"

Jax nods opening the door "Yes, and I was, till 2pm. It's almost 4 now."

Glancing at my watch I bite back on the curse that presses against my lips "Sorry! I guess we were busier then I thought."

Jax shrugs and waits till I'm in the car "Head to TM now, Patrick has some information for us." 

I feel my forehead crease again but Jax simply shakes his head "When we get there."

The carpark at TM looks fairly empty, but pulling in beside Gemma's car I take another look around and note the three bikes in a row, Jax's slotting in between Piney's and Opie's with Clay's on the other side of Piney's. Al's car's parked in front of one of the bays with Juice under the bonnet, Al standing beside him watching what he's doing.

As I lock the car behind me Mouse, one of the mechanics comes out of the side door and whistles "That's one hell of a car there Mrs T."

I shudder and glare at him "Sarah, my name is Sarah. Mrs T makes me sound like I should have been a teacher on Welcome Back Kotter or something like that."

Mouse laughs, heading towards his huge truck in the far corner "Got it Mrs T."

Jax throws his arm around my neck and kisses my cheek "Come on Mrs T, lets go see this lawyer. He wouldn't tell me shit until you got here."

Patrick is sitting at the corner booth that the girls and I normally take over, his laptop in front of him, briefcase beside him and a stack of manilla folders beside the mouse. Tapping his shoulder as Jax and I slide into the other side he looks up with a smile that turns to a grimace "Jesus, have you been sleeping?"

I roll my eyes "Yes Dad. It's a bit hard to sleep all night with 4 month old twins, they wake up at 3am every morning."

Al comes through the door and heads towards the kitchen "Coffee?"

Three affimative answers follow her through the swinging stable door, the top half locked in the open position.

Once we're all settled with coffee Patrick pushes a folder towards me "That's the list of DNA testing places in San Francisco. I've already booked with four of them for Tuesday. Give me Miss Knowles' phone number and I'll let her know what time she needs to be there. I've booked times for you at 10, 11, 1 and 2 to deliever your samples. They're oral fluid and blood at all of them. She's booked to be at the same places an hour after you, so her first one is 11 at the place you would have been at 10 then 12, 2 and 3 for the other three samples from the child."

Jax reaches into his kutte pocket and passes over a sheet of paper "The phone number and other details that we were given. That's all the info we were provided."

Patrick nods and slides it into a folder with 'Teller-Knowles DNA Testing' written across the front in thick black lettering. Picking up the next folder he starts chuckling the 'Teller-Case Custody' makes something hurt deep within my chest and subconciously I lift my hand and rub the front of my sternum.

Patrick notices my discomfort and reaches across the table, squeezing my fingers "It'll be okay."

I lift an eyebrow at him and he shrugs "Power of positive thinking?" Chuckling at himself he pulls out several pages and sorts through them.

"They want full custody." I snort and he glances up "Yeah, not going to happen. We're going to start with one weekend a month with all your demands, including that they must pass on the spot instant read sobriety tests first."

I glance over at Jax and he grins "Reminding them of their daughters addiction is a good test for how much they want to be part of Abel's life."

"So when is the list sent?" I ask, my eyes drifting over the list of our 10 demands.

"I'll ring their lawyer in the morning and fax it over, you both have to sign the bottom as Abel's parents though." Patrick slides the page over so I'm not twisting my head and I read through the list again.

All meetings must be within Charming, California.

No mention of Wendy can be made, not through showing Abel photographs, videos, telling of stories or visiting the memorial plaque.

Abel will be informed of Wendy's role in his life at a time decided by his Father and Mother, until that point Albert and Andrea will be introduced as family friends.

Visits must be arranged 72 hours in advance.

Only 1 visit of no more than 8 hours is permitted in any calendar month.

Any delays in picking up or dropping off Abel will be notified to Sarah and Jackson Teller as soon as possible.

Abel is to be collected from either the Teller's home, the Morrow home or Teller-Morrow and dropped back to the same property, unless otherwise arranged.

Collection time is to be no earlier than 8am and delivery time shall be no later than 6pm, unless otherwise agreed to in writing.

On collection of Abel from his parents a saliva sample must be provided to undertake an instant read sobriety test.

Full family medical history is to be provided to St Thomas' Hospital for recording against Abel's file.

I sign at the bottom of the page and pass it to Jax who reads it over before whistling "And the only two you're really set on are 2 and 3?"

I nod "I'd like to push for 9. 6 to me is logical to leave in, as is 10. Those are the two we put in to make a couple of easy choices. The food thing I'm not fussed on, but I just don't want them feeding him junk whenever he's there."

Jax signs it and pushes it back to Patrick who grins "You two are all done now. Be gone."

Getting to my feet I rest my hand on the back of Patrick's chair "You still owe me an explanation about your sudden appearance in California."

Patrick stands up and walks towards the door of his rented car "Simple, I'm relocating my office to San Francisco. Made more sence to me as most of my clients are now on this coast, and those that aren't I can liase with digitally."

I blink at him for several seconds before furrowing my brow "And you're sure about this move?"

Patrick nods, with a smile "Yeah I am. I'm scouting office buildings tomorrow morning for a new space, and looking at apartments in the afternoon."

Jax throws his arm around my neck and nuzzles his nose into my hair "Guess you're not the only one who moves fast."

I start laughing and meet Patrick's amused eyes, shaking his head I elbow Jax lightly "I moved fast to cement my place back in Charming, you were a bonus."

Jax tickles my side "I think it was the other way round, you moved fast for me, Charming was the bonus."

I roll my eyes at Patrick and nod "Sure baby, you believe that."

Patrick shrugs as he gets into his car "It'll be next week before I hear anything back about this agreement, so don't panic Sarah."

Shaking my head I wave as he leaves the lot, Jax's arm still around my neck tightens "Hear that, relax. Party here tomorrow night. Ma's gonna have all the kids at hers. Neeta's staying there too. Come, have a night off." Letting go of my neck he heads towards the office door "It's not a request either."


	64. Chapter 64

CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

I'M NOT DEAD!

True to his demand Jax loads the kids into the Nitro shortly before 2 and takes them all down to Grandma's, returning half an hour later on foot.

Walking into the kitchen he shakes his head "Ma made me leave the car in case her and Neeta want to take the kids out. D's leaving her's behind as well." He snorts as he pulls a beer from the fridge "They'd be insane taking 6 kids out."

Glancing up from the cake batter I was mixing I cock my head to the side with a frown "She won't. If anything she'll just use it to bring the kids home tomorrow. What time are we due at the lot?"

"Whenever we get there."

I smile at him with a quirk of my eyebrow "So once this cake is baked we can actually spend some time together. Just the two of us?"

Jax sets his bottle down and looks at me with a lazy smile "Did you have something planned?"

"Nope." I reply, popping the P loudly "But I thought you could rehang that photo that fell down and finally move the lawn mower so that we can actually get through the door of the shed."

Jax sighs, stripping his kutte, holster and emptying his jean pockets before he salutes and heads towards the door "Yes Ma'am."

Shaking my head I add the chocolate chips to the cake batter and mix them in before pouring the whole lot into a giant cake tin. "Smart ass. I married a smart ass."

"And then gave him two more children." Donna's voice sounds from behind me "And a dog, and a mother for his other child. You also gave him a house, two businesses, more money then he could spend in a lifetime and the ability to be happy." Plonking herself down at the table she grins and does a wiggle in the seat "Kid free. Kid free. We're kid free."

I chuckle at her and pour coffee into two cups "Yes we are. What trouble can we get into?"

"In 24 hours. A lot." Opie says walking through the kitchen "He out the back?"

Nodding he steps onto the back patio and calls "Teller. Where are you?"

Giggling I wink at Donna and call "I'm right here, ya big oaf."

A hand with one finger extended appears through the door, disappearing as Ope walks towards the back of the garden and Jax's greeting.

Donna waits till the cake is out of the oven and cooling before smiling at me with a sinister gleam in her eyes "Have you picked clothes for tonight. You and I both need to make a statement that we're back full time."

I shake my head "Hadn't thought about it, I've been to a couple of parties since the twins were born, but only briefly."

Donna nods "That's what I mean, we're not stepping out early cause of the kids, we're not arriving late cause of the kids. We're gonna be there from start to finish."

I sigh "So I should have a nap later?"

Donna giggles and nods "Yep, after you feed me dinner. But, let us venture into the depths of your wardrobe and dig out clothes."

Donna ignores my suggestions for outfits, instead folding two things into a backpack on top of a pair of shoes, pushing the bag into my hands she gestures towards my draws "Only you know what underwear you can get away with under that."

Tossing underwear on the pile Donna follows me through the master bedroom into the bathroom "Are you and Ope coming with us when we do these DNA tests. Well, when Jax does the DNA tests."

Donna shrugs "Dunno, I'll ask Ope."

"Ask me what?" Opie reaches over my shoulder, grabbing a jar and looking at his wife.

"Do you wanna go with Jax and S to San Fran for the waste of time testing." Donna shakes her head at my quirked eyebrow.

Ope shrugs "Not sure. You'll have to let me check with Clay about work."

As he leaves I look back at D and she sighs "I was there when Trasha came into TM with the kids. I don't believe that it's Jax's, any more than I think Kenny will become a monk."

"You never said that?" I set down the hairbrush I was holding with a loud clink and turn to her "But I guess that does explain how you managed to get here before anyone else."

Donna chuckles "I was worried you might get pissed at me for not telling you I'd seen the kid."

I shake my head "What would be the point? We'll know for sure in a week if she's is family or not, and if I'm stuck with Tarta in my life for the rest of it."

Donna erupts into giggles. It takes her several minutes to get control of herself after she splutters with each inhale and every look at me makes her laugh harder. While she laughs I finish putting the things needed into my bag and leave it on the bench.

"I just realized that if I'm wrong, which I doubt, that you'll be able to rub it in Tara's face that you've got Jax and she's got shit."

I shrug "I don't need to rub it in her face that I've got the life she wanted." I giggle "As mature as that sounds, what I really want is for the DNA tests to all come back as no match between Jax and Tamsyn and for Tara to vanish into the archives of our past."

"It'll happen S. Sooner rather than later." D says with a smile "What are we doing for dinner?"

"I'm thinking tonight, hot dogs and fries. I can't be bothered fussing." Donna nods and flops onto the bed with a sigh "I forgot how quiet it is without any of the kids around. It's strange."

I nod as I hear the back door close, quirking an eyebrow I grin at Donna "You two better have clean shoes, or have taken them off."

"Yes Ma'am." Jax calls back "We'll be in the games room."

Sitting down beside Donna she reaches over at pats my leg "Have a nap. It's gonna be a long night."

Waking up an hour later to a gentle nudge on the shoulder I blink rapidly as my eyes readjust to the brightness of the light pouring in the window.

Jax smiles at me "Feel better babe?"

Sitting up I wipe my eyes and nod "Yeah, D made me nap. Something about it'll be a long night tonight."

Jax laughs and nods "Probably." Looking into his eyes I read the mischief shining there "What did you do?"

Opie's big laugh from the other side of the bed precedes his words "Told you she'd catch you out bro."

"Jackson Nathaniel Teller, what did you do?" I ask, any trace of sleepiness vanishing like smoke in wind.

Lifting an eyebrow he shrugs "Well maybe I won't tell you."

Crossing my arms over my chest I lean back against the wall, watching him as he starts to move slightly.

"I made a couple of phone calls this morning. That's all I'm going to say, you'll find out what it was about later." Jax leans over, presses a kiss to my lips and then leaves the room, Opie trailing a few steps behind whistling loudly.

Donna laughs and climbs off the bed slowly "He's up to something."

I roll my eyes towards the ceiling "No shit, but what?"

Donna shrugs and heads down the stairs "Guess we'll find out. Now feed me woman."

AN: So it's been a REALLY long time since I posted. Since the last update I had an absolute nightmare. In chronological order:

My dog was put to sleep, he had epilepsy and blew out the crucial ligament in his knee. 2K for surgery wasn't the problem, the problem was that coming out of the surgery he could have had a seizure which would have undone everything that had just been done. There was no guarantee that it would even have worked. He could have been okay, but blown out the other down the line, and 4 months confinement to a crate. To top if all off 2 days after we started working out crate and finance for the surgery he had a massive seizure and could no longer walk. My husband and I made the decision to end his suffering so it's been very hard for me to write, Doj was written mainly with my Kaos in mind, the photos of him are of my dog.

My father got the flu, which ended up in a 3 week hospital stay. He was discharged and then got another bout of the flu about 5 days later. He then (during his second admission) had a heart attack and ended up with pneumonia for which he was back in hospital for another 2 weeks. He ended up moving to a retirement home in October, since then he's had four more chest infections and his lung function has dropped to about 70%. In his words he has maybe 6 months to live. 2 years at most.

My 14 year old daughter completely shattered my trust in her, and it took a long time before I could even think about not having my full attention on her, in case she went behind my back again.

On the upside I have seen Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath and Ellie Goulding, Devilskin (a New Zealand band), Halestorm, and Heath Franklin's Chopper (an Australian comedian). And I have a Green Day concert coming up in May.

Anyway, enough about me. I have put up a post on my page, please go vote. I'll be trying to post at least once a month from now, if not shorter gaps. Chapters may be a little longer now too.


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